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    Amarissa's Avatar
    Amarissa Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    May 22, 2013, 08:53 PM
    My bff's ex-boyfriend making the moves on me? What should I do?
    I have this one friend, L whom I care and love so much. We've been together for quite long. We always help each other out and be there for each other. Her tears are mine and my sorrows are hers. I know everything about her and she knows mine. It's been more than a year since I broke up with D. I was so heart-broken. She was there all the time for me. Help me went through all the hardship because of D. So, then slowly I managed to let D go... and tried to move on. I never set my eyes on any guy since that. I still love D. Then one day I met R accidentally when I went to the church. I was alone since L was busy with her internship. I never met R before but L also told me about him. She showed me the picture of R, so the moment I saw him, I recognized him. I greet him and introduce myself as L friend and he smile. I told L about that incident. I met R a few times at the church but never really get into a conversation with him. But then, he moved in to the same house with our friends. L and I always spend our weekend there. Since that I start to get close with R. L was right, R is an "angel". A very good boy. Now I know why L told me she regretted that she broke up with him and cheated on him. I don't know since when, but I started to have feeling with R. He treated me like no one ever does. But I always ignored that feeling. I know I must not feel that way. Then 1 day we sat together, watching a movie at R house. L use this chance to hug and kiss his cheek but there's no respond from R. He just let her be. I felt really awkward so I focused on the movie. Suddenly I felt someone caressed my cheek and it was R. I was very shocked. Why does he dare to caressed my cheek in front of L. I move a bit away and he followed me. This is crazy. This is not the first time he showed me that he's interested in me. He did once said he wants t hug me but I just laugh, thought he was just kidding. Then he pulled my hand when I want to left them alone and kissed my hand. I was so speechless. When I got back home I deactivated my Facebook and intend to change all my numbers. So, I told him not to contact me anymore and I hope I'll never see him again. Here what he said to me;

    "What are you running from M? And why? Did I do something wrong? Whatever you feel, don't keep it to yourself because that will hurt you and slowly kill you inside. Where and how far are you intend to run away from me? I will always find a way to contact you and I will find a way to see you even that cost me to run like hell chasing after you. You can't run from me because you need me. Not a goodbye M but till we meet again. We definitely will meet again."

    I don't know what to say to him. He love me? Or He just love to be my friend? I really don't know. I feel guilty towards L. She knows nothing about this. She keeps on planning spending time together with R and me. And I feel like dying to give her hundred reasons to refuse to hang out with her every time R is included. Sometimes she cries and told me that she really regret it breaking up with R and she wants him back. Even R didn't give her any positive hints for now, she told me she will wait for him. No matter what.On the other side. I'm having a war with my own heart to stop loving R. But with R makes it hard for me. Why don't he just let me out from his circle??

    Help me. What should I do??
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #2

    May 22, 2013, 09:23 PM
    You simply stop hanging out with him, no matter what. Then you won't have the confusion of the heart nor be caught in the soap opera drama of this unhealthy triangle.

    And what kind of friend grins in a friend's face and keep those love secrets from her? What kind of guy hits on his exes friend? Boy you have a lot to learn about players, users, and being a good friend so tell your friend the truth, and stay away from player guy, who knows he can say smooth things and you will listen.

    And tell your friend to stop making a fool of herself. You both need to stay away from this guy's poison.
    Amarissa's Avatar
    Amarissa Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #3

    May 22, 2013, 10:15 PM
    Don't misunderstood it. He's a good guy. Since he broke with L, he never get into any relationship. Though L hurt him in the past, he never mad at her at all, in fact still take a good care of her as a good friend. He's not a player.
    joypulv's Avatar
    joypulv Posts: 21,591, Reputation: 2941
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    #4

    May 22, 2013, 11:25 PM
    Best friends are people you can tell anything to. So you tell her that he has been pursuing you for months and that you have been avoiding him for her sake, but you are starting to have feelings.
    He broke up with her and is NEVER going to want her back. If she doesn't get it, she has something wrong with her, cuddling up to him and kissing him, how embarrassing.
    However, best friends are more valuable than gold, so you have a decision to make (if she gets upset) that only you can make.

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