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amermonstarsgir · Mar 28, 2009, 08:33 AM

Is there such a thing as being addicted to spending money? My boyfriend cannot control himself it seems like. He just spends and spends and spends and has no regard for having to pay bills or anything. We don't live together or anythign but I have to help him with his bills because he can't do it himself. Thank god we have separate checking accounts or my money would be gone too. Is this such a thing as being unable to control your spending?

stevetcg · Mar 28, 2009, 08:41 AM

Sure - shopping addiction. Its like most addictions - one gets joy from doing something that may be harmful to themselves or others.

amermonstarsgir · Mar 28, 2009, 08:44 AM

What can I do about his problem? Its getting really bad. He is starting to not have enough money to pay his bills.

stevetcg · Mar 28, 2009, 08:47 AM

Seek treatment for being a shopaholic. Your local hospital is probably the best source of local information.

talaniman · Mar 28, 2009, 09:11 AM

Your other post says he isn't working so either he change his habits or goes broke, or homeless.. Thank God for separate accounts.

amermonstarsgir · Mar 28, 2009, 09:14 AM

Yes thank goodness for separate accouts and us not living together. Im very conservative with my money and he is not. With a small unemployment check and his spending he broke. I told him that I was not killing myself and giving him money just to burn.

amermonstarsgir · Mar 28, 2009, 09:15 AM

If he doesn't change I can't stay with him. I want nice things in life not to barley scrape by on a few dollars in my pocket like he is doing at the moment... love or not.

talaniman · Mar 28, 2009, 09:19 AM

I don't blame you.

Jake2008 · Mar 30, 2009, 02:37 AM

Originally Posted by amermonstarsgir

Is there such a thing as being addicted to spending money? My bf cannot control himself it seems like. he just spends and spends and spends and has no regard for having to pay bills or anything. We dont live together or anythign but I have to help him with his bills because he can't do it himself. Thank god we have separate checking accounts or my money would be gone too. Is this such a thing as being unable to control your spending?

It is possible to be addicted to spending. The one with the problem behaviour needs to seek help. Feeding an addiction knows no bounds, and will continue until he decides to change. No amount of talking will make that happen. Practical solutions to correct the obvious won't work unless he is willing and able to make changes, not only in regard to the addiction itself, but all problems the addiction has caused. By that I mean with loved ones, and creditors, banks, etc.

He will have a lot of work to do when he is ready to admit he has a problem.

You are smart to be thinking the way you are in my opinion. You have no control over his behaviour. It is a relief to know that you have your own money in your own account that he cannot access.

twinkiedooter · Apr 1, 2009, 04:44 PM

Having an additiction to spending money is usually one of the symptoms of being bipolar. He may have this problem as well as most bipolars spend money they don't have and haven't the faintest clue what they are doing as they have no thought about tomorrow or paying the bills.

Jake2008 · Sep 18, 2009, 07:16 AM

Is he accumulating a mountain of debt? What is he spending the money on. Much of determining a proper answer will depend upon a little more history.

We tend to toss out 'addiction' as a 'cause' for bad behaviour, or irresponsible behaviour, but it would be helpful to know more.

Do his spending habits affect his quality of life such as, is he depressed, or does he seem moody or out of touch? Does he have any health problems or self-esteem issues?

Any more information you can provide would be helpful. Do you two argue a lot about money?