[lilah_k]

How do you pick yourself up after you have fallen so deep into this hole.
I have become the lowest of the low. Myself confidence is lost... I don't have a grasp at anything anymore. I feel as if I have lost my ground, no I don't have a ground anymore... It's like I am floating.
I've completely messed up my relationship with pushing the person I love more and more away from me. I don't have the confidence to give space in my relationship. I just don't know. What am I doing? I'm so needy and lost and confused right now.
I CAN'T GET MYSELF TOGETHER... and I keep pushing the person I love away from me more and more with each phone call I make. I hate myself! I just hate myself so much! I want to be happy and I want him to see I'm happy and free and confident, bold, beautiful perfect... everything someone could want in another person. Lets face it I've realized today that a emotional reck of a crazy girlfriend not being able to coop with giving space calls her boyfriend every other day while she is suppose to be giving him "space"- is not cute! I know I'm the lowest of the loooow right now. GOSH I REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY HATE MYSELF. What am I going to do now.. is it too late to make things right? Can I still make things right? I don't know. Can I still show him I'm capable to giving him space? Can I still prove to him he's right in having a relationship with me? Or have I blown it all away.
:(

How do I get back my confidence and pride?

[jody88]

You need to start having a higher opinion of yourself and not put yourself down all the time. I am also pushing away the person that I love by being insecure but I know the more I put myself down and acuse him of things the further I'm going to push him into someone else's arms. So try to give him a bit of space I know its hard, let him think you are not bothered by what he does and he will be the one to ring you

[Allheart]

Oh sweet Lilah -

It is never ever too late to feel better about yourself. Don't go beating yourself up for not being able to give space when asked to. We all have been there... and we all have at one time or another failed.

When you get the urge to pick up the phone, or send an email, you log in right here and say hello to us here.

While you are saying hello to everyone here, stick around a bit, and you will soon see that everyone struggles with giving space, but YOU HAVE TO DO IT. Not for him so much, but as you are learning for yourself. So you feel better inside.

I don't ever ever want to read that you hate yourself. Then I guess we all should hate ourselves and we don't :).

So first, let's put yourself at the top of the list. Pick something that you have really been wanting to do, but haven't because you have been a little "distracted". Joining a gym? Learning a new subject? Or even just getting a great book and throwing yourself into it.

Oh, you are so not alone so please do not feel that way. Get a little calendar out and for each day, you do not initiate contact, give yourself a great big star.

The most important thing is for you to start feeling good inside about the person you are. This will come once you build some internal strength. And the strength comes with each star that you are able to put in that calendar :)

I have NO doubt that you can do this! Just by you coming here and letting it all out shows that you can turn this around!

My very best to you!

[talaniman]

My favorite saying: Get a life that you enjoy with out him, make new friends or call on old ones, start a new hobby or find an activity you never had time for. Volunteer work will give you a chance to help people less fortunate than you, and you will feel great about yourself for doing it. A positive attitude and a smile, will attract positive, happy people to your life. Get out and get a tan, or go to the park and feed the ducks, there is a whole lot of life outside your door, and all you have to do is walk outside and get it. Take your smile with you.