[handoferebus]

On a rare occasion, I have a hard time ejaculating during intercourse or from oral sex. I'd say once every 40 or 50 sexual experiences this happens to me. A good example is recently it was early in the morning, and I had sort of egged my girlfriend into giving me oral sex. She did for about 5 minutes, and seemed to be really into it, but I knew I wasn't going to be able to ejaculate (I felt a bit dehydrated, and I guess I can just sort of tell). It feels great, and it still feels like I'm having an orgasm, but I simply didn't ejaculate. I tell her it's OK to stop, and that it felt really good, but she flipped out. Got up, said "you never have a problem when you do it yourself," looked at me with that 'good ing job' sarcastic grin, and just stormed out of the house. Before she left, I said "it's not a problem, it still felt great, there's no need to get this mad," but she scoffed that off.

Just about every time I don't ejaculate, something to this level happens. It's so frustrating, and it makes me not want to have sex, because I can never predict when it's going to happen. I don't know what to say to her, or what to do. I'm 22, and we've been together for a year. We've got a very active sex life, but with her getting as angry as she does from this, it makes me want to stop all together.

Any advice?

[Choux]

That kind of anger has no place in the bedroom! Apparently, sex has become just a transaction for her and perhaps, for you, I don't know. I think she felt used in the case you mentioned, but didn't know how to express herself... not then, but later when she wasn't going ballistic.

Both of you have to make an effort to get some real feelings back into your relationship, and into some of your lovemaking. YOu need to negotiate a better sex life so you both are happy. If you can't, break up.

[Fr_Chuck]

Yes, there has to be a lot more problems going on, if not performing is causing that sort of remarks. Guess what you are going to have a lot of other problems as time goes by most likely, So to be honest if one or two times in 50 are the only problems, that is really good. One may have issues from stress, being too tired, drinking and a 100 other issues

[handoferebus]

To me, there's no reason to get as upset as she does. She text'd me later saying "why do I even bother if I can't get you off?" To me, I believe I have no "problem" here... it HAPPENS from time to time... but she's seeing it as her being incapable of getting me off, or pleasuring me, or whatever she's thinking. I NEVER get mad at her when she doesn't orgasm, which seems like it's about 85% of the time. Maybe that's the problem? When I try and talk to her about it, she just gives me a snarky attitude and tries to belittle me. Now, lets keep in mind, this doesn't happen that often, but when it does, it gets ugly.

I really don't know. She doesn't think it is anything other than my fault for having a problem, and she takes a lot of offense to it. I think she's not seeing the whole picture. :\

[hannah_nicole]

Tell her exactly how it makes you feel that you don't want to have sex ever again when she does it. She needs to smarten up. Sex isn't all about getting off, the stress of knowing you have to get off or she's going to go ape makes it even harder TO get off. Make sure she knows this. Ask her - when YOU don't get off does it mean you haven't had a pleasurable experience? Do you think I am incapable of getting you off because of it? I understand there are other reasons besides what Im doing that mean you can't orgasm.

[jennysolano18]

Have you tried going to the Dr. yet? Maybe you should get checked.

[ashley_anne]

Maybe you masturbate too frquently...

And if you can "kind of tell" that you will not be able to ejaculate, maybe give her a heads up in the beginning instead of letting her continue to suck your for no reason.

[handoferebus]

It's not like I know before hand... it's just a feeling that I get after a short time. Almost like a mental block. I think "hmm, I feel like I won't be able to get off for some reason", and then myself fulfilling prophecy becomes a reality.

And I don't masturbate that often. I used to more often, but she thought I was doing it too much, so I stopped. I'd say once or twice a week, at most.

See a doctor?.

I love this girl, but it's becoming frustrating when something that doesn't happen often, and isn't mine or her's fault, but gets shoved in my face.

[jennysolano18]

Maybe you should let your girlfriend know that. Unless you have already told her then you should try and look up information because maybe later on in the future you going to end up being insecure with women and it can affect your life.

[Dragonfly1234]

Maybe you two should talk about the fact that orgasms are only one part of the whole having sex thing, there's also the getting there part. I wouldn't be saying this if you never had an orgasm and it's a problem in that there's something missing, but when you don't 'get off', you guys should be concentrating on the fun you just had doing whatever it is you were doing and forgetting about that last little part. You should try talking to her about this. Sometimes my husband and I start having sex, we take our time, we have fun, we enjoy ourselves but before we can finish something happens, the phone rings (long conversation), our son gets back from his friend's house earlier than planned, whatever the reason we have to stop. But we still spent some quality time in the bedroom and we're both happy we had that. You two need to talk.

[smoothy]

Any issues with stress or medications? Have you had a recent physical that might turn up a condition that needs treatment?

[Ash123]

She has issues.

Unresolved relationship issues. What is her relationship with parents like? How did previous relationship end for her?

Who cares if you don't climax sometimes? She is also making it mentally harder for you, I'd guess

[menoshoes]

My boyfriend has the same problem. I have given him head for like 5mins and nothing- she might not be doing it all the way to make you turned on enough or has not found that spot that makes you go ooh. Somethimes I have to also to visual things to make him come- you can only imagine. Ive noticed when I play out his fanties- he comes a little faster. Esp with the high heal leather boots and skin tight... But you may have to jerk off yourself while doing something to her and then let her have more- I notice my boyfriend does that and that is fine.