I'm in exactly the same boat,
Constant contact from her, new boyfriend is the opposite to me and is a rebound guy for sure. It seems like she likes to hurt me but then again seems genuinely torn. A few weeks ago she came back full on at me, wanting me to come round, flirting, phone calls the works.I have done exactly as you have, told her its all or nothing.
I guess it depends on what you want. I want mine back, so I have had to enforce the no contact rule. I don't contact her, I keep myself busy. I have even started to keep a log of when she contacts me and what is said.
We had a massive row two weeks ago via a text, where we said our goodbyes.
Next day guess who calls me and begs me to meet up to "sort things out"!
Her contact is a double edged sword as I love her very much and love the attention, but it always stirs up lots of emotions.
The advice on the net is this, under no circumstances allow yourself to be in the friends zone. Its polite distance or full on. Contact from her is be met politely and friendly, but don't be afraid to ignore the odd call or text. Number one rule is self respect, keep cool, don't show her that she bothers you and under no circumstances allow yourself to be her door mat.
I think the one thing I have learned about this type of woman is that they need a strong man to keep them in line, they do not respect a pleaser, they need to feel that you will take charge and be a real man. Not macho, but a strong personality that will protect and care for them.
Anyhow good luck, lessons learned now will help in the future. :-)
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