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almostmommy · Oct 28, 2008, 06:32 AM

I'm pregnant, my boyfirend and I are both very happy about this, we have an amazing relationship, the kind that people are jelous of. My question is does it always change after the birth of a child? We are best friends as well as partners, and I just don't want to lose any aspect of that because of the birth. This is our first child and that's why I'm so worried.:confused:

homebirthmom · Oct 28, 2008, 06:36 AM

Talk to him about your concerns. Communication and honesty can be very rewarding, and you may even be surprised. He may be feeling the same way.

starbuck8 · Oct 28, 2008, 06:51 AM

Hi again! Well it sounds to me like you have a great relationship, and a good friendship! That doesn't have to change. It might be a little different in the start, because your priorities are going to shift. You will have a little life to tend to. I'm sure your boyfriend understands this, if you have good comunication.

Once you are all settled into parenthood, just make sure that you try and make time for your boyfriend. If you have a trusted family member or friend, let them take over for you one evening every week or two, so you can keep your relationship alive.

I think you will do just fine. Good luck! :)

talaniman · Oct 28, 2008, 07:54 AM

That first child scares us all, as your never prepared fully, and there is a lot to learn. Sharing this experience will bring you closer, and bring out the best in you, as long as your both honest about your feelings and keep working together.

Things will change, but for the better. Congrats!

almostmommy · Nov 4, 2008, 07:57 AM

Sorry for being away fro so long!! I've missed this place!
Thanks for all the advice, the good news is that I've spoken to my boyfrined, and we agree that our relationsip doesn't have to change. We're in a supportive enough environment to still be able to enjoy a bit of alone time and keep ourselves in check with each other. I suppose having a baby with your soul mate helps!
Thanks for all the comforting words!!

joy25 · Nov 4, 2008, 08:18 AM

I have to agree that talking about your concerns is the best place to start and would probably put your mind at ease.
We just had our first child together 7 months ago and we were best friends and had the perfect relationship before the baby and I was concerned about the same thing... we both were. In everything we read, people were always talking about the end of your sex life which to me is the start of the end of your relationship but our baby had quite the opposite effect. It brought us closer together and it helped us grow up and mature and be responsible so quick and it also added so much passion to our sexlife. I can't say why that happened, maybe because we had such a great relationship to start but I guess I just wanted to let you know that you're relationship can be better than it ever was in everyway... I'm living proof! :)
I think also because you have those concerns before the baby (like I did) that you may try harder to keep your relationship thriving (even subconciously) So it may be better to be concerned than not concerned because at least that way you're willing to put in more of an effort to keep the relationship solid.
Hope my ramblings helped you even a little! Best of luck in your new thrilling exciting life on the way! =D

almostmommy · Nov 5, 2008, 02:22 AM

Joy, so glad to hear that you are the proof! I agree with the fact that perhaps concern is a goof thing, I think if you're too comfortable and assume that everything's going to be okay then the problems sneak in. Thankfully we are talking, and trying, and I have no doubt that our baby will have a positive effect on our relationship as yours has on your relationship!