[Niko0807]

My boyfriend and I live in the house that I bought. It was his idea to buy the house. But because of immature decisions he was arrested for DUI's and served 15 months in prison. I paid all the bills for the last year including his. He's been out of prison since may and he promised me a major change, he's been between jobs. He started some real estate venture on the internet, but nothing that is making money to pay the mortgage and the property taxes. He paid in the last six months several bills. There were things that he needed to complete when he was released from prison. I tried to be supportive, but it has been hard managing to pay all the bills.
He keeps telling me that he is going to make money with the business venture he is in. My concern is he sits at home on my computer every day. I come home he doesn't have dinner waiting or cleans up the house. He occasionally washes dishes and feeds my dog. As for our relationship he doesn't spend any time with me. When we are home he barely talks to me, doesn't want to go out with me. We don't have any intimacy. I'm very frustrated and lose my cool a lot because I feel like he doesn't invest any time or energy with me, but expects me to always be at his disposal for his needs.
We live in the house as roommates, what do I do!? What does his behavior mean. I feel like he just uses me, doesn't commit to me for anything.

[450donn]

Personally I see that he is using you like a cheap door mat. Ask him to leave and start looking in different places for your male friends.

[Topacio]

I must say there is a sign that says "GOODBYE" he is using you that is all he is doing. He knows that you will keep up with the bills and all that so he isn't worried about it. And if he stays in the house but doesn't pitch in while you are at work then he isn't worth staying around and supporting him because he isn't supporting you in anyway

[JBeaucaire]

He's not doing anything you aren't condoning by your lack of reaction. If someone were to say "F-off" to me every day and I did nothing, after a year of that how easy would it be for me to convince them I won't stand for it? Pretty hard, huh? Especially since he know how you do things.

So, the only thing doable here is for you to change, 100%, all the things you've been doing. Since you're his mom now (Yes, you are!), why not just act like it?

"Here are your bills. You will need to pay them."

"I don't have any money."

"Yes, you will have to do something about that won't you?"

"Can't you pay them?"

"No."

"There's no reason you can't. You're being unreasonable."

"You think so? You're going to love this...you're half of the rent is $500. I will need that money by the 25th. If I don't have it, you'll be evicted."

"What!? You're crazy!"

"Perhaps. Here is a copy of your eviction notice. All I have to do is date and sign it. Please don't make that necessary."

"Anything else!?"

"Oh yes, indeed. You are officially not my boyfriend as of this moment. Do I love you? Yes, I do. But you don't act like a boyfriend, so I no longer grant you that title just because you live here. You will need to court my attentions again. That means doing things for me you would do for someone you were trying to court. You've stopped wooing, so I'm putting myself back on the market. Unless you become the top candidate, I will end up dating someone who turns out to be a better catch than you, so you should probably get to work now."

"You can't talk to me this way."

"Sweetie, I care enough about to you lose you completely if that results in you finally standing up in your life and being a man. If you can't do that here with me, you sure as heck can do it outside that door."

"And even if you pay your half of the rent, I suggest you seriously think about getting a place of your own. We don't seem to work as a 'dating' couple living here together. If you pay the rent, you can stay, but I don't think it's the best for you any longer. You need to provide for yourself and feel the benefits of doing it. Living here deprives you of that, so that's my suggestion."

[liz28]

Niko, you can do bad by yourself. You work and pay your own bills that shows that your very responsible. Taking care of a grown back is just stupid and don't pay his bills when you could be putting your money to good use for yourself or even saving it by putting it in the bank.

He is getting a free ride and knows it and won't get off until you push him off.

You stated this is more like a roommate situation then a relationship. Well at least roommates pay their way and pay their own bill. This guy is eating, getting a roof over his head, using your light, water, and computer on your dime. Put an end to it and kick him out, your not his mother.Don't ever allow yourself to be used again.

[bradysmama17]

Uh yeah my soon to be ex is mooching off me and my parents. I moved away from him bt he still follows me no matter where I go.