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66stang · Dec 27, 2007, 07:33 PM

My girlfriend and I broke up to go away to college. Our schools are only an hour and a half away from each other and we had talked about breaking up for school before we got together, but during our 8 month relationship the topic never came up. When school started she told me that I knew all along we were going to break up and that it shouldn't have been a surprise. After a year and a half I still have feelings for her and I think about her all the time. She was my first girlfriend and I haven't had a girlfriend since her. I have dated girls and slept with many, but I can't get over her. We are just now trying to be friends and hang out every once in a while. Whenever we get food I always pay and she doesn't mind. I always open doors for her and treat her as if we were still going out, but we haven't had and sexual contact. Is normal to feel this way? Does she feel the same way? Do I cut her out of my life or try and get back together with her?

aiyerrc · Dec 27, 2007, 07:41 PM

How often do you get to see each other? A situation like this is based many on the feeling you are getting from her...

Don't try too hard, or it'll push her away... keep it casual, and see where things go

Who broke up with who technically?

66stang · Dec 27, 2007, 07:51 PM

We see each other during breaks from school, so maybe 3 times a year. She technically broke up with me because I wanted to try and make it work, but she didn't.

Jiser · Dec 27, 2007, 08:07 PM

Its hard to say this but I think its something which has run its course. My ex broke up with me 11 months ago and I still think of her a lot but for my emotional stability I decided to break contact with her last July. It has helped a lot! I think it might help you.

You have three choiceS:

1) You get stuck in a revolving door carrying on the way you are
2) You tell her how you feel face to face
3) You say to her its best you don't speak anymore and try to get on with life

George_1950 · Dec 27, 2007, 09:42 PM

The first two stickies have advice for someone in a breakup. You should read them numerous times. You should consider No Contact. The only thing you should say to her is what Jiser has recommended: "You say to her its best you don't speak anymore and try to get on with life." No contact for 90 to 120 days, and then reassess your heart. It sounds as though you should just work on mental relationship skills, rather than physical because you are in no condition other than causual right now. Take some time and get your feet firmly on the ground.