[chazza86]

I am 20 years old and have been in my current relationship for 5 years. Throughout the relationship I have heard on a numerous of occasions that he has cheated on me with other girls. He has a really bad temper and doesn't really let me do what I want to do. If I do go out I get a number of questions and it is really hard to get my point across to him because he always gets frustrated and agitated easily. On numerous occasions he goes out and doesn't come back that night or the next and he has the cheek to come back and ask me what I have been up to!

Last year I met this other guy who is completely what I want, he likes everything that I do. Nothing serious happened we just talked. We went our separate ways as he wanted more and I just wasn't able to give that to him. Recently we bumped into each other and swapped numbers starting to talk to him again has made me think if only I left b'f last time. It is getting into a more difficult situation as although he understands what is going on in my life he is not prepared to wait and I really don't want to lose him again...

I am thinking of leaving my b/f but it's not always greener on the other side. Please help big dilema

[huno]

Your current BF sounds like your typical, meatheaded moron. It's hard to leave guys like that because they can be really intense and make you believe that you're not strong enough or worthy enough to be without them. When he questions you, he is making you feel inferior and incapable of managing your own life. It is belittling, and you fall for it because he appears so confident and sure of himself that you believe it must be true.

Don't fall for this trap. Your BF is an idiot and you deserve better than to be questioned every time you go out. Dump his @ss and get with a real man.

[Geoffersonairplane]

Its true that the grass is not always greener on the other side but in your case, I think it may very well be. You certainly don't sound happy in your current relationship and perhaps it would be best for you both for it to end before things get even deeper. He is far too controlling of you anyway and this is typical male insecurity. You mention cheating, not sure if there is truth to the allegation, that is to say, I can't tell you if he has done this but it does seem suspicious that he questions you on what you have been up to. Next thing he will be asking you if you have cheated and a cheater often fears being cheated on and that is a classic for a cheater to accuse you of that if and when he ever does.

First things first is to tell him how you feel in a calm, adult way and go from there, but don't let him bully you or turn it all round on you.

[talaniman]

The worst thing you can do is jump from one guy, to another. Deal with the relationship your in, and don't be rushed or pressured by another guy right now. If your inclined to leave, then do so, but give yourself time for you to relect, and decide what you want in a man, and the life you want. You must heal, and get over the past, and jumping into something because you are not happy where you are, will only make things worse, not better. It looks good now, but so did your boyfriend in the beginning, so think about it, before you make such a leap. Put yourself first, and not the needs of this new stranger who you may like, but don't know. Good Luck.

[bushg]

1."He has a really bad temper and doesn't really let me do what I want to do" End quote Make plans to leave have another place to live. Gather your belongings and leave him a Dear John letter. Do not take a chance on his temper getting out of control, or him badgering you to stay by tears,words or force. 2. As far as the other guy. Do not get heavily involved with someone else until you do a little work on yourself. Find out why you have stayed in this relationship for 5 years while being mistreated. Look at your childhood for the answers. You may also want to get some type of counseling, so that you do not end up in the same situation again.