[HuggableGiggles]

:confused: I don't want to make this really long so I'm going to try and make this as brief as possible. If you need more details just ask.

Okay, I've been with my current boyfriend for about 2 years now. We have had some really rough times. We've almost broke up a dozen times but we always stay together.. I love him with all my heart. He has taught me so much about myself and about life in general I don't know where I would be without him. There are times when we can't stand each other and we doubt our relationship. I do know that I have never been so comfortable around anyone. He knows the "real me". (not that I'm fake by any means). I get along really well with his family.. although my family won't even meet him. It is very frustrating but I'm not going to let it get me down. Anyway, about a month or so ago he told me things were over for good. He told me that I get on his nerves, we fight too much (but it's always about stupid little things and we get over it in an hour), he said that I deserve better than him and I could do so much better with someone else. I explained to him that I love him. That I don't want to be with anyone else. And I was honest with him and told him that there have been times when I doubted our relationship too but I finally feel secure and see things looking up for our future (now that we both have decent jobs and the stress level in our lives is beginning to clear). Then he basically told me that he was miserable and he was "done". So I said okay and I left to be with a girl friend of mine to clear my head and calm down a bit. I told him we would work out the living arrangements and who gets what when I get back. Well while I was out evidently he changed his mind about things and decided to give the relationship another chance. I don't know what made him change his mind and are things actually going to work or should I just take everything that has happened into consideration and move on with my life? I'm so afraid of making the wrong decision and not be able to get things right again. What made him change his mind and how do I handle this?

[Wildcat21]

Absence makes the heart grow fonder. It's our 'no contact' thing we preach here.

Couple BIG questions - "although my family won't even meet him." WHY?

People want what they can't have.

Do you give each other space or do you ALWAYS do thngs together? Do you have separate lives as well?

Obviously you live together - is this too much?

Do you communicate things between the two of you that annoy? And do you truly work o nthose things?

[HuggableGiggles]

My family won't meet him because of something that happened with my ex-fiance. Basically, my parents were running our lives our wedding.. EVERYTHING. I wasn't handling this well and wanted everyone to get along and pushed too hard and things just got worse. He ended up leaving me 2 weeks before the wedding and I got mad at my parents and it took us a year or so to speak again. They don't want another person to hurt the relationship I have have with my parents again. And actually, I could use a suggestion on how to handle that too!

Now, as far as the space thing goes.. I've been working on it.. we used to do everything together and that has stopped. I've been working really hard on trying to give him more space (that was one of things that was brought up in the heart-to-heart).

We do have a good communication as far as I know.. I tell him everything and I think he does the same for me but there no sure way of knowing that. Sometimes I suspect that he still has feelings for his ex.. but that's probably just in my head. But when he does tell me things that bother him I try my best to fix it and there are are times when I can really tell he's trying to do the same for me.

[Wildcat21]

See - you need to spend time AWAY from each other. Ughhhh - it's always too much - no wonder you fought and were annoyed. That's horrible. Relationship breaker. Each person needs their own friends, hobbies, family, work, etc. - YES you need to spend a lot of time together - but ALSO time away.

You need gusy/girls night out, sports, other thngs.

You need to learn that person is part of your life - not your life.

Well, who doesn't have feelings for ex's - never goes away - BUT, they also are broke for a reason - it's hard to get back together.

[talaniman]

Relationships require balance so people don't feel smothered, and they can grow together. Losing yourself in a relationship is never good.

[Wildcat21]

It sounds like you give too much - nt a good thing. It's OK to be selfish sometimes.

You need alone time to refresh the batteries.

[J_9]

But when he does tell me things that bother him I try my best to fix it

Big mistake to "fix" his problems. Most people only want an outlet. Someone they can talk to. When someone begins to fix problems it can begin to feel similar to a manipulative relationship.

Just be a listener, not a fixer.

[s_cianci]

I'd give it another shot. I presume that you live together. Since he seems willing to give it another go, I'd go along with it. You've been together for a long time now so it's worth seeing whether you can make it. I don't think there's any "wrong" decision here and I don't think that "getting things right again" will be a problem. You might want to try curtailing what seems to be like senseless, petty arguing. At least remove your role in it. You also need to address the issue of why your family won't meet him.

[Sentra]

Well, absence makes the heart grow fonder so feel out that notion by taking a few hours apart every now and then (if you DO happen to stay with each other). Much luck to you:).

[seubert]

Hey I'm new to this whole website thing but I read your statement... and I'm going through the same thing... I have been dating this guy for about a year and he is my first true love... and I guess I was his... and then we have broke up like 4 times because we fight about the stuupidest thing you can image... then we say we are over and then we get back together the next day... or in that same houre... its sort of like yours, but no at the same time... and then he called and said thigs are official OVER! And I was heart broken but he has hurt me a couple of times and then the next day he calles saying how sry he was and all that stuff... I don't know what to tell you but in looking for the same advice... should I take him back? I don't want to make a huge mistack... but I really really do love him... soooo much but I don't want to go through the same break-ups over and over... if oyu know what I mean... so I don't know what to tell you maybe if you find some advice maybe you could pass it on to me?

Thanks a bunch
Cassie