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    Allforthebroken's Avatar
    Allforthebroken Posts: 28, Reputation: 2
    New Member
     
    #1

    Jan 25, 2009, 10:19 PM
    Keeping Secrets from my boyfriend
    Ok, well my BF and I have been dating for about 8 months now... and I really can't see myself being with anyone else but him.
    Only problem is, sometimes I have a hard time telling him things. I want him to know everything, but I just don't want him to overreact to something I tell him.
    For example, we both were cutters; it was pretty bad; then 2 weeks ago I cut the top of my foot 5 times. I really wanted to tell him about it because I guess I broke a promise of sorts...
    Is there an easier way to tell him everything that's on my mind without hurting him somehow or do I have to come up with a plan on my own on how to deal with this situation?:confused:
    Skittles911's Avatar
    Skittles911 Posts: 42, Reputation: 2
    Junior Member
     
    #2

    Jan 26, 2009, 01:34 AM

    Dude, just tell him, of course its going to hurt him but its better than him finding out that you didn't tell him
    Allforthebroken's Avatar
    Allforthebroken Posts: 28, Reputation: 2
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    #3

    Jan 26, 2009, 06:12 PM

    OK thanks... I can try...
    liz28's Avatar
    liz28 Posts: 4,662, Reputation: 1034
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    #4

    Jan 26, 2009, 06:20 PM

    Why are you cutting yourself? You need to tell someone because you need a rock. But, not to be mean, if you have an issue with cutting yourself than maybe counselling would help and your boyfriend can you through it too.
    Allforthebroken's Avatar
    Allforthebroken Posts: 28, Reputation: 2
    New Member
     
    #5

    Feb 8, 2009, 07:41 PM

    Well I've been to counseling and that had only made it much worse... I've tried anti-depressants and those failed as well...
    The only think helping me are my friends and my BF... but recently my friends have been the cause...
    neverme's Avatar
    neverme Posts: 1,430, Reputation: 270
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    #6

    Feb 8, 2009, 07:51 PM

    Stop putting all your eggs in one basket.

    Counseling is trial and error, you have to try a lot sometimes before you find the one that's right for you.

    The wrong one can make things worse but the right one will be the best thing that ever happened to you.

    As for your original question, tell him, sometimes it's easier if you write it all down first yourself then you'll know what you want to say.

    Also this information would upset anyone to hear. But I suspect the reason it may upset him more than most is

    a) because he is a cutter also

    And

    b) because he is the only one you turn to.

    No one person can support another totally. The load is too heavy, they will crumble.

    Although don't misread me, a relationship is about support and you both should be able to support one another, I just think that if you found the right counselor it would lighten the load a lot for your boyfriend and help your relationship to no end... Not to mention yourself.
    Allforthebroken's Avatar
    Allforthebroken Posts: 28, Reputation: 2
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    #7

    Feb 8, 2009, 09:39 PM

    Thank you muchly for all your advice
    I shall take everything into a large amount of consideration
    Ana52408's Avatar
    Ana52408 Posts: 152, Reputation: 17
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    #8

    Feb 9, 2009, 08:46 PM

    Join an activity asap. Don't cut yourself the pain will not go away that way. You need to distract yourself from everything negative. Im 15 years old and I've never had a friend or anything cut themselves but there is girls in my class that sit all the way in the corner and they do cut themselves at home or I don't know where but its horrible. Don't do it, you'll make people that care about you very upset. You have friends, a boyfriend and you really don't need to be cutting yourself. Trust me, it isn't the way to go... and maybe you might be older maybe younger than me, but I'm a teenager and I'm going through the stage of finding out who I am just like every other teen out there but just stay out of the negative stuff. Like drugs, cutting yourself,sex, alcohol, violence, etc. Just take my advice and distract yourself by maybe exercising afterskool with some friends or maybe helping out your favorite teacher grade her papers... just don't start heading through the wrong path.
    rja_2009's Avatar
    rja_2009 Posts: 20, Reputation: 2
    New Member
     
    #9

    Feb 9, 2009, 09:03 PM
    Go for the blurt method it's the best and you don't have to go through the should I or shouldn't I? Just do it
    lover22nana's Avatar
    lover22nana Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
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    #10

    Feb 10, 2009, 11:44 AM

    i used to cut when i was 14 now im 15...
    my boyfriend helped me through it all he went through it so he was a big help....
    how about you tell he then you say your sorry
    finally tell him why you did it then ask him if he can help you in some kind of way
    N0help4u's Avatar
    N0help4u Posts: 19,823, Reputation: 2035
    Uber Member
     
    #11

    Feb 11, 2009, 07:33 PM

    Tell him you are having a problem with cutting again and you need his hnelp and encouragement to help you through it,
    Also you don't need to tell everybody everything. Often it is best to bring some things at the right timing if it is something you think could directly effect your relationship then you need to find a way to tell him. Otherwise you don't need to sound like you are at confession or having to tell him your whole life story,
    Maybe take the que from him, like if he tells you about an ex or aboult cutting tell him your similar experiences and anything you feel you need to tell him on the subject,
    What is it about your friends that is making you feel the need to cut again?
    Maybe it is better that you get away from these friends
    Read up on relationships, especially toxic ones.
    Also maybe find a group for ex cutters that you could join,

    http://www.associatedcontent.com/art...ip.html?cat=41

    http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&q...0&oq=toxic+rel

    http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&q...us&btnG=Search

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