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    bizEmom07's Avatar
    bizEmom07 Posts: 21, Reputation: 3
    New Member
     
    #1

    Aug 28, 2007, 06:55 AM
    Role Reversal/Resentment
    I'm not sure this is the right area to post this, but I just really want to vent more than anything.

    I went back to work in the corporate world after a few years at home. My husband and I own a real estate business, so I ran that and took care of the house and kids while he worked a full-time job and did real estate part-time (so to speak). I loved being at home, but now I work and he is the full-time real estate person/stay home dad.

    Not only do I dislike my job (understatement of the year), but I'm really starting to resent the fact that he is the one doing the "kid stuff" that I want to be doing. He's not doing all that much business, and I certainly don't go home to a clean house. I've tried mentioning the fact that I don't think he's doing enough, but no matter how nice I try to be about it he gets mad. Today, we're not even talking.

    I really wish we could go back to the way things were... he works and I stay home. However... I have a college degree and he does not... so therefore, I make more money than him. We did fine on his salary before, when I was able to sell real estate to add income, but he doesn't seem too open to the idea of going back to work.

    URGGGGG!!
    Thanks for letting me vent.
    CorrieNB's Avatar
    CorrieNB Posts: 78, Reputation: 8
    Junior Member
     
    #2

    Aug 28, 2007, 07:00 AM
    Sounds stresfull my fiancé and I also own a Real Estate company (IT IS SOOOOO MUCH WORK) I don't have any advice just wanted to say hi and Good luck.VENT ON I HEAR YOU!!
    RubyPitbull's Avatar
    RubyPitbull Posts: 3,575, Reputation: 648
    Ultra Member
     
    #3

    Aug 28, 2007, 07:13 AM
    I wish more people were smart enough here to state they are venting! This is a great place to let off steam.

    You are in a very tough situation. Your husband is not responding to your feelings and needs. I completely understand your frustration and feel for you. Does your medical insurance that you carry with your job allow you to go for counseling? If so, you might find it very helpful to vent to a marriage counselor (without hubby being around, at least to start). You can get into specific incidents and the counselor can give you the right words to use to get your husband to pay attention and really focus on what you are saying. If hubby does have an anger management problem, the counselor can definitely give you productive ways to handle it and keep you from becoming as frustrated and angry as it appears you are becoming. It isn't fair for you to be shouldering all these burdens yourself. In the past, I have used a counselor to learn how to properly deal with a boss/friend with anger issues. It helped me tremendously. Later on, the same counselor helped me and my husband through his illness. If you find the right therapist, it is a very liberating experience. I always felt better equipped to face my problems when I walked out of that office.
    bizEmom07's Avatar
    bizEmom07 Posts: 21, Reputation: 3
    New Member
     
    #4

    Aug 28, 2007, 07:34 AM
    My husband doesn't have an anger management problem... it's not like that at all. I think he is as frustrated with himself as I am. The situation is really kind of stupid when you really stop to think about it. He doesn't like toting kids around. He wants to go to work and not have the responsibility of making sure the kids get to where they need to be. Well, I don't like to go to work. I like to take care of the house and kids and do a little work here and there, help at the school, etc.

    So why don't we switch back?? It all boils down to that money thing. He really wants a successful real estate office, and I'd love for him to have one. I just don't think he's going to get there doing what he's doing.

    Anyway, counseling may be a good idea. I do have insurance that would cover it, but I barely have time as it is, so I'm not sure that's something I can make time for right now. I'll think about it though, and I appreciate your mentioning that option. I've not had good experiences with therapists in the past, so we'll see.

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