Depressed Girlfriend- have no fight left
Hi, I'm 18 soon and have been dating my girlfriend for over a year now. We love each other and this is no kind of puppy love. I will start by telling you how our relationship progressed throughout the year.
When we first started dating, everything was fine, casual and at about 3 months into the relationship, it started to get really serious and everything has been fine, with very little fights until about late October.
One day, late October, my girlfriend and I are in a text fight and she tells me I don't have the time that she would like for herself anymore and that this is not going to work etc so I reevaluate and reluctantly agree with her, because who am I to go against her opinion right? So the next day I met her and started talking to her and told her that she was probably right and that I am not going to have as much time as she would lke for her the following year (final year of highschool) and as she has been saying for the past 6 months "once year 12 starts, we are prob going to break up, because nobody makes it through year 12 (the hsc - Australian higher school examination for university entrees), I guess I saw some truth in what she was saying so I thought we should break up now than go through this next year, better now than later. But when I did give in, and tell her we should break up she really started fighting for us. I was under the assumption that it would be a mutual decision, but it was not? Anyway... a month passed where we weren't as strong as before when we had our next big fight... basically I told her not to worry and that we will come through.
Things were fine for a couple of weeks but for the next month and a half things seemed rather half hearted on both our parts until we had about 4 serious fights. In our final fight I really dug deep and decided that this is the girl that I would want to spend the rest of my life with so I told her I would do whatever it took and really have been... Ive been seeing her more, even if it goes out of my way by hours, or I am busy, ditching my friends constantly (leaving me friendless) just ensuring that she is my number 1 and making sure she knows that she is.
Prior, at around 4 months into our relationship she told me she had an eating disorder years ago where she didn't like her body.. but has come to accept it for the way it is recently. And since October she has mentioned that she has been depressed but I could not believe it to be a mental condition, rather just an excuse for somethingas she pops it in whenever we fought.. but last month she told me again and this time it really sunk in and I believed her and I felt like absolute **** as before she told me it was because of me that she became like this and I started believing that again so for a week I was a zombie and I was emotionally drained. She told me that we should prob go on a break for me because I am not happy anymore as I told her that my happiness heavily relied on her happiness and as I really believed she was happy before, and only depressed whenever we fought, I made sure for the past couple of months that we did not fight whatsoever, when she then told me she was depressed. I did not know what to do when she asked for a break for me but I refused and told her that was silly and after that week I got a little better. Last night however she told me she wanted to go on a break but I don't know if she wants me to fight for us this time... I am so emotionally drained and I do not feel anything anymore and have not felt anything in a long time. What should I do?
(also when she told me she was depressed I really told her to go see someone but she refused to do so)
-F
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