[Dark but not Heartless]

The first thing I thought when our health teacher taught us about marijuana was "Well, I hang out with good people. I don't have to worry about this problem." So, needless to say, when one of my best friends said to me "I'm high right now," I was devastated. We were on AIM, so I couldn't judge if he was lying or not. This friend has always been kind of a jerk when we talk on AIM, and it's hard to tell when he's being serious or when he's screwing around. But, all in all, he was definitely NOT someone whom I would have exepected to get high. But I guess that's what everyone thinks before they learn the horrible truth.

Anyway, the point is I didn't know how to react, because if I tried a bunch of cliché criticism and cajoling him to stop, he would resent me and probanly do it more. He is the type of person who gets a thrill from pissing people off (and yet for some reason I'm still his friend). I couldn't say anything except that if he smoked pot I wouldn't be his friend, and that I was goinf to rat him out. He seemed fine with the idea, and was very cheerful despite how upset he knew I was. It pissed me off, but I didn't show it, because he would just become very smug and content with himself. And if he was indeed high, then it wouldn't have mattered anyway.

The only thing I can really do is ignore him, but I feel that if I do that, I won't be helping the situation. He has said in the past that he really doen't need my friendship; He has plenty of other friends. And that's what worries me the most. His other friends were the ones that got him high to begin with. If I ignore him, he might just continue to smike and drink and whatever else. I feel morally obligated to step in and try to help him, but what can I do?:confused::confused::confused:

[N0help4u]

You need to realize that YOU can not make anybody stop what they want to do. You are not morally obligated to help him out. Trust me I have had several bf's in my life that claimed ''I only smoke a little weed'' only to find out they did much more and way more often than they would ever admit. I know they loved me and even then they choose the drugs over me. IT is called addiction for a reason. The only way they can stop is IF they hit rock bottom AND then most need to go through rehab. Then they go right back to it even then
Trust me think about what is best for you because you in no way, shape or form are going to change him whatsoever.

[artlady]

Maybe he was just experimenting and he has no intention of continuing.
I don't think *ratting* on him is the answer because we all try things we wish we hadn't and we all make mistakes ,he needs to figure that out for himself.

He sounds like the kind of kid who may just be trying to get a rise out of you or maybe he is *thinking* about trying weed and he wanted to get your input but was to proud to truly ask for advice.

I would not over react and just tell him to be straight with you and tell him how you feel about drug use.
Peer pressure is harder for some than others so try to see where he is coming from,as a friend,that is your moral responsibility!

If he continues to do things that you find wrong then sever your ties with him.

Best of luck!

[templelane]

You are responsible for yourself and no one else. It is not for you to decide whether what your friends do is right or wrong. I have loads of friends that do things I don't personally agree with or would do myself, but it's their life, their choices.

He does sound like a bit of pain though. I only stay in reciprical relationships, lifes too short to hang around with people who don't care if you are their friend or not.

[letmetellu]

If he has so many other friends I would let him go hang out with them, There is an old saying concerning whether you might start using weed. It goes, "If you hang out with dogs you might catch fleas." Meaning if you continue to hang out with this friend it is possible that you too might start using.

[KBC]

How long until you are influenced by this friend to do what they do?

As stated above,in the posts preceding mine,let him go.

Your morals and values are different from his and you are 'above the influence', this is very commendable and you should be proud to be in this position of looking at the problem before it is a problem for you.

keep the moral high ground and pursue people who don't need the 'escape' from reality that this 'friend' needs.In the long run you will be more successful and productive than them,and what a great way to live.

Hope this helped you understand a little and hope you make the right decision in this.

KBC