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Eddie007 · Nov 8, 2006, 11:37 AM

I have known this girl from my family for a long, long time. I remember when she was born and I have seen her grow up till I decided to come to the US. By then, she was still very young and I stopped remembing much about her. Lately I had been visiting back home often and I see her all grown up and beautiful (she is 20 yrs old now). I couldn't help but noticing her, but never said anything to her or showed her any sign. Now, this past summer we had the chance to spend some few days together among our families and we just hit it off so well. We had blessed days, they were full of joy and excitement. My heart was racing 100 miles and hour all the time we were together. Before I left my hometown before coming back to the US we realized how much we started to care about each other and we dicided to keep in touch. Two moths later the love has spoken. We decalred our love to each other and we decided to get married soon (within two years). I love this girl to death and I have seen so many beautiful things in her that I can not wait to be with her forever. She loves me just as much or more and expresses that to me as often as possible. The trouble I am in right now, is I have never been in a long distance relationship before and I don't know how to keep this beautiful relationship going. Part of me tells me to stay a bit mysterious and less available for her so time can go by quickly before thing can get old. Another part of me tells me to keep expressing my love to her and dream with her about the future waiting for us. I really don't want to lose this baby, and I am afraid long distance and too much love giving and lack of being physically together can devestate our hope.

Thank you and sorry for the length of this letter.
Please help me.

ordinaryguy · Nov 8, 2006, 04:13 PM

How much older are you? Is her (and your) family supportive? Are there concrete steps you can take to prepare for being together? Yes, long distance relationships are hard, and she's young. I would say don't play games with her. If you are both committed to being together and getting married, make all possible plans and start doing what it takes to make it happen.

Eddie007 · Nov 9, 2006, 10:23 PM

I'm 28 yrs old and we know that both our families can be supportive because we don't forsee any potential problems there. Very few people among the family know about us but not the big guys like our parents for example. Yes, we do have plans, such as me going to see her in Feb, 2006 secretively so not to alert everybody of what's happening between us until the right time. We are planing on engagement this coming summer and getting married the summer of 2008 after she finishes her bachelor degree back home. My worry is how can we be able to stick to each other and these plans while we are far away from each other. I have heard that long distance relationships get old and things start to go downhill when there is too much time to wait. I DON'T WANT THIS TO HAPPEN!

Please, give me tips of things I should be doing and/or things I should avoid so not to poison our beautiful future.

I know I'm probably asking a broad question, but if anyone of you out there has been in long distance relationship or know how to help, I will greatly appreciate your ideas and opinions...

Thank you so much
Eddie.

rkim291968 · Nov 9, 2006, 11:36 PM

Speaking from my own experience... if love is strong & you both are patient types, it will work. Based on what you wrote, I believe it will work. Just believe in yourselves and move ahead with your plans. With modern tech (phones, e-mails, jets), long distance relationship should work.

Good attitude is half the success.

talaniman · Nov 10, 2006, 06:04 AM

First, it takes very mature people to make long distance relationships work. Second, two people who are attracted to each other should take the time and patience to get to know each other, that's called dating. To rush through the process and rush into a commitment so fast lets me know that neither of you have done the things to make this work long term and I see you setting yourself up for a fall. BIGTIME. Hate to rain on your parade but maybe you should read the many post here about the ones that rushed into the fire and got burned. I hope you slow this train down and give yourself a chance for happiness by doing this right so that this relationship can grow. What's the big hurry anyway? Slow down, the love you save may be your own.