[boofk]

I am in love with a man that has Aspergers. I dated him years ago before anyone had heard of Aspergers. I always knew that there was something different and very intense about him. That is what drew me to him. We broke up the first time because of a misunderstanding. He could never tell me what he was thinking or feeling about our relationship. I got frustrated with him and started to date other men. We went our separate ways for many years until my husband passed away and then I sought him out again. A mutual friend told me that she thought that he has Aspergers and I watched him closely and I completely agree with her after spending more time with him. He withdrew from me after losing his job of 35 years and ended our relationship abruptly. He ended up going back to an old girlfriend. I know that he cares for me and I sure do care for him and love him deeply but, I don't know if I could ever spend my life with him.

[Wondergirl]

I've been married to such a man for almost 45 years (we figured out the Aspie thing about three years ago).

Well, he's with an old girlfriend now, so you have to leave him alone. But you want to talk about how it is to be married to an Aspie? ;)

[lnred]

I have been married to a man for 23 years whom I recently diagnosed with Asperger's, after just getting diagnosed myself officially last year at age 61. Aspie men, just like anyone else, have their good points and their bad points. I would say if you crave a lot of emotional response, forget it. On the other hand, when emotion does come, it is a wonderful and memorable event.

Since I am Aspie, too, I can't take too much emotion so it works for me but we had lots of kinks to iron out and our marriage is a work in progress. He is the best thing that ever happened to me. If you are interested I have written a book on learning to love as a Bipolar Aspie and it is a story of my journey which ends with my meeting my husband and marrying him.

But your man has someone else now so...

[boofk]

Thank you for your responses. I have so many mixed feelings about this. I have recently started to communicate with him again on Facebook. I want to give him his space and let him sort things out on his own.

He has been married 3 times and says he will never marry again. Our relationship although short lived was full of love and I don't understand how he could just throw me over so abruptly for a woman that he ended a relationship with to be with me. Although I question all of that now. I think it was the stress of losing his job that made him go back to what felt safer and more comfortable for him.

To me it doesn't make sense. Maybe he knows he has Aspergers (we never talked about it) and didn't want to be that vulnerable with me.