[tragedy]

Vanheart - thanks for the slap! I seriously need that because I can't seem to control myself. It's like getting out of hand. :(

[vanheart]

Don't let it. She doesn't matter.

[amicon]

You can control yourself.
She can't control you.

[sully123]

Keeping reminding yourself how abusive she was. You are much better off without her. Ignore her! You can't honestly have any feelings for her, after what she did to you. No one deserves that kind of treatment.

[tragedy]

I know she was abusive, but somehow I have forgiven her. Well, she has recently untagged all her pictures. Each time she does this kind of act, I will feel the pinch but then again there's nothing I can do. Seriously, I don't mind to have her as my friend again. But I know I will make a fool out of myself if I walk to her trying to shake her hands. :(

[Jake2008]

Get a piece of paper, write out all the reasons you left, why you don't want to be affected by her, and why this isn't good for you.

Keep it simple, and put it on your fridge, with a copy in your pocket. Memorize it.

When you feel weak, read it.

You really have to control yourself. This is way beyond her, it is about you. As long as you keep thinking there is some sort of control there, meaning her control over you causing you do fall back, you will never move forward.

She is only human. She cannot cast spells, or strike you with lightening, she cannot control your thoughts and actions. She can't determine or predict when your paths will cross, and she cannot harm you in any way, shape, or form.

Everything you worry about has to do with how she affects you still.

That is a bit weird. Worrying about or predicting things that probably won't happen, and spinning around thinking your life is going to be upside down again, is not thinking clearly.

I hope you are continuing with therapy. You have to let these thoughts go, or at least learn that the thoughts you have of her influence in your life.to such a huge degree.

[tragedy]

Jake, I've written it down and will keep it with me all the time. I just can't seem to stop thinking about her.. revisiting the past. It would have been a smooth healing journey if she didn't move around here. Seeing her so happy, dressing up, looking good really kills me. I could hear her laughter. Every now and then I run into her. My heart seems so uncomfortable now. I could barely sleep. I really wish that I could just delete those memories from my head just like that. I keep telling myself that I got to be in control but I'm lying here like a dead puppy. I don't know how to explain this feeling but it is definitely awful. :'(

[vanheart]

Once you let go of the hold you think she has on you, that's when things will change.

After all, she doesn't care, why should you?

Let her dress up & laugh. I suggest you do the same.

[tragedy]

I feel like I'm going to break down and cry. I really tried my best to move on and I thought I will be reaching the finishing line soon. Sadly, that isn't that case and I feel like a crap now. :(

[vanheart]

You got to give it time.
And get off your a$$ & have the will & work at it.

Getting dumped sucks, but not the end of the world.

What's sucks is wallowing. One day a switch will hopefully do off in your head & you will say, "I'm sick of this." And move forward & learn.

[tragedy]

I'm trying, I'm really trying. But she is way too close and I don't want to see who she talks to or run into her. I saw her chatting up with some dude yesterday. Ouch! Well, she wasn't that socialize. Anyway... she has changed a lot since the split. I guess I have to hunt for rooms... I seriously can't take it any longer. :(. It is eating me up :(

[vanheart]

Sounds like your focus is on her, not you.

Change that. What's stopping you now?

You shouldn't care & occupy your thoughts & actions for someone that isn't willing to do the same. She used & abused you & now your feeling the repercussions. And her moving is only to put you down even more.

Screw that. She isn't worth another moment of your time, unless you use it for your benefit.

[tragedy]

Thanks, vanheart. I think the problem is I still love her somehow. I can't be 100% sure. I thought I had that scrapped off. I could be wrong. But I guess the feelings started to rush in when she moved around the block and I will find my tears park behind my eyes whenever she crosses my mind. I tried not to look at her when she passed me by. I've always have my iPod on so that I will not hear her voice or laughter. I know I should start to focus on myself again. But I'm beginning to get weak inside. I think I'm lost again. I was okay up until she moved in. I'm crushed, torn and broken. :(.

[amicon]

Don't be-make some plans-things to look forward to-do things that make you feel good.
Could you go away for a short break?

[tragedy]

I'm planning for a short break but it won't be that soon. I'm beginning to lose my appetite. This is a bad news for me. I've jogged for months where I almost reach the finishing line and now look where I am... sort of back to square one. Running into her everyday really makes my heart sore. Looking at her living happily with the new man makes me sad. What have I done to deserve all these misery? :(. She can throw all my gifts, put it up on myspace... I don't care. But why does she need to move in so close? :(

[amicon]

I don't know why she moved to where she did-the thing is it's not something you should let worry you.
It doesn't matter where she lives-the relationship is over.

Don't make this the be all and end all-get your life back.

Don't allow yourself to wallow in this misery anylonger.

[UnluckyDucky]

Why does she have to move so close? Honestly, who cares!

Sure, it could be part of some elaborate plan to torture you, make your life miserable, and haunt you but seriously bud, the reality is she probably has better stuff to do in her life than worry about YOU. Her life is her own now and your life is your own as well.

In my world, believing is seeing. What you believe shapes your reality and how you view your life. Sure, everyone has a bad day once in awhile and during the healing process you're going to have more bad days in the beginning - that's perfectly fine. But all I see is negativity in your thought process and your posts. Start thinking and believing that the fact that you're no longer with her is the best thing that could have happened to you - and it will be! Make an honest effort to start looking at the bright side of every situation, no matter how insignificant that bright side may be.

Say you bump your knee on a table and it hurts like hell - well, you may have noticed if you get bumped on another part of your body all of a sudden your knee won't hurt as much? What you need to do right now is something similar - except to your mind. Go out, have fun with friends. Find a video game you can get lost into. There are dozens of things YOU can do to keep your mind off her. Yes this is the tough part, but it gets better.

If you need additional ideas or suggestions, just ask.

[tragedy]

I've just gone to my Facebook and removed all her pictures. I saw her walking with her new found man this morning. I hate what I see and feel. Why can't she just disappear from my life? I just can't seem to understand how can a person moved on so fast. :(

[amicon]

Please reread the advice you've been given the last couple of days-and let it sink in.

[vanheart]

Ya know, tragedy (btw, this isn't a tragedy, is a blessing that you don't recognize yet)

When I was suffering, desperate and posting, I looked back, even printed pages & pages of responses and took them with me to read over and over.
To the beach, coffee shops, etc..

Take some serious heed in the advice. People here have felt similar pain & anxiety.

Yeah it sucks that you have to see her, but put that in your skillset. Seeing her with her new boyfriend will end up being another reason to move on.

There's other people out there, remember. Ones that are just up your alley.