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starlite1 · Jun 3, 2008, 11:22 AM

Hi HavOK,

I think don't it is a bad thing that you did. If you happen to see her again, and it's just the two of you (no friends around), just say a quick 'hey' and keep walking. If she stops you, you can stop if you want, and kind of be a little cool in your attitude. If the conversation gets a little heated, you say "listen, it's not cool what you did, I don't appreciate and I certainly didn't deserve it, think about it. See Ya". And that is all you have to say.

dollarman · Jun 3, 2008, 12:03 PM

I'm on day 5. Feeling strong... thinking of her, but I'm calm. Praise God! I'm looking forward to continuing this challenge. Any new updates or interesting news?

starlite1 · Jun 3, 2008, 12:05 PM

Hi Dollarman,

Good for you!! You are doing great! Nothing much with me. Still missing him, and stuff like that...

dollarman · Jun 3, 2008, 12:07 PM

Hav0k,
Tread lightly with that whole 'friends' crap. I've heard it, tried it, then slowly it ended up as me doing all the work to maintain it.. so then I turned my back on her too. Not telling you what to do, but be careful.. no need to compromise the strength you've gained.

dollarman · Jun 3, 2008, 12:09 PM

Thanks starlite!
Quite honestly though it's God carrying me through this. The power of prayer is amazing, and couple that with the awesome people here and it becomes almost exciting to be able to purposely not contact someone who hurt me like that. Missing him is normal, just remember you're doing great too! Don't forget that!

starlite1 · Jun 3, 2008, 12:36 PM

Thank you! So are you! And you know? Prayer does work. I am not the most religious person by any means, but I talk with God everyday, and I know he hears all of us.

Hey, I'm not sure if you saw the post or not, but we (us members) are planning a big get together where we can meet and hang out in person.

Here is the post:

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...us-222453.html

Whatcha think?

dollarman · Jun 3, 2008, 03:19 PM

I was hit with a moment of weakness. Just a lapse. I'm trying to snap out of it though. No urge to contact, I guess more of a sense of loss.

hav0k · Jun 3, 2008, 03:38 PM

Thanks for the responses sneeze, star and dollarman.

Don't worry dollarman, I know very well not to delve into that friends crap. I tried it when we were on our break and she ended up completely screwing me over. Guess I learned that lesson...

I ignored her today because I wanted her to know how F-ed up her actions were. At the same time though I don't want her to think I hate her forever. Ahhh dilemmas... I suppose it won't hurt to say Hi to her though.

Shakedown24 · Jun 3, 2008, 03:57 PM

Its been two weeks for me, and after a weekend surrounded by some friends I feel like I'm hitting bottom again. I even had to convince myself to not call her.

I keep wondering what she's doing, who she's with, whether she cares, and keep imagining her with another guy at bars, clubs, partying happily--these are the things she does.

Its like I'm forgetting all the bad things she did and how unhappy I was in the relationship, and no matter how hard I try and remind myself, its just not strong enough to combat the feeling of lonliness and longing.

I hate it, it's that feeling of being punched in the stomach you know, I get it so randomly, like today, I was just watching my favorite sitcom, which I do everyday while eating breakfast, and I kept getting bombarded with imagery of her with others and feelings of lonliness. I was doing quite all right for a solid week.

I used to passify myself by reminding myself of my future (graduating soon) and the new friends I will meet next semester, but now even that stuff doesn't matter to me. I hate that I can't take control of myself.

classicrocker · Jun 3, 2008, 04:46 PM

Shake down, no one said this is easy, but just stay strong, I know what you mean when you say nothing else matters and for a time I believed myself when I would say it, but the truth is that there is at least one thing that matters and that is you my friend! Just stay strong and in time we're going to get through this!

hjpan · Jun 3, 2008, 04:48 PM

I am considering enlisting in the Army even though my mom does not approve.

hav0k · Jun 3, 2008, 05:19 PM

Originally Posted by hjpan

I am considering enlisting in the Army even though my mom does not approve.

Why? Was this idea sparked by your breakup? If so I don't suggest following through on that...

Funny thing is that thought went through my mind too but I quickly realized how bad of an idea it was (at least for me, could be different for you).

zooropa1985 · Jun 3, 2008, 05:35 PM

Originally Posted by hav0k

Why? Was this idea sparked by your breakup? If so I don't suggest following through on that...

Funny thing is that thought went through my mind too but I quickly realized how bad of an idea it was (at least for me, could be different for you).

Hell me too, I thought joining the army would be a great way to get over a girl, luckily I came to my senses and now I'm glad I didn't join.

No matter how bad you feel trust me the sorrow will pass

hjpan · Jun 3, 2008, 05:39 PM

Originally Posted by zooropa1985

hell me too, i thought joining the army would be a great way to get over a girl, luckily i came to my senses and now im glad i didnt join.

no matter how bad you feel trust me the sorrow will pass

I have an interest in future military career.

At first, I talked to my ex and she was fine with me in the Army.

After the break up, I was sparked to join; I could careless what reasons not to join.

bigbird213 · Jun 3, 2008, 06:13 PM

Just don't make such a life changing state when you are in such an emotionally fragile state.

I have been thinking about that path for a few years now, and I'll agree after the breakup the feelings and urges were stronger, but you need to know not to make these kind of decisions when your mind isn't at its healthiest.

hjpan · Jun 3, 2008, 06:16 PM

Originally Posted by bigbird213

Just don't make such a life changing state when you are in such an emotionally fragile state.

I have been thinking about that path for a few years now, and I'll agree after the breakup the feelings and urges were stronger, but you need to know not to make these kind of decisions when your mind isn't at its healthiest.

My choice is not fragile. I have been thinking about the military since winter 2007. Yes, the urge is strong but I have decided to enlist. All I need is to find time to put my schedule together so college plans do not interfere directly.

bigbird213 · Jun 3, 2008, 06:19 PM

Good,

I'm glad you have put a lot of thought into it.

hjpan · Jun 3, 2008, 06:19 PM

Originally Posted by bigbird213

Good,

I'm glad you have put a lot of thought into it.

Thank you =]

starlite1 · Jun 3, 2008, 06:20 PM

Originally Posted by Shakedown24

Its been two weeks for me, and after a weekend surrounded by some friends I feel like im hitting bottom again. I even had to convince myself to not call her.

I keep wondering what shes doing, who shes with, whether she cares, and keep imagining her with another guy at bars, clubs, partying happily--these are the things she does.

Its like im forgetting all the bad things she did and how unhappy I was in the relationship, and no matter how hard I try and remind myself, its just not strong enough to combat the feeling of lonliness and longing.

I hate it, its that feeling of being punched in the stomach ya know, I get it so randomly, like today, I was just watching my favorite sitcom, which i do everyday while eating breakfast, and I kept getting bombarded with imagery of her with others and feelings of lonliness. I was doing quite alright for a solid week.

I used to passify myself by reminding myself of my future (graduating soon) and the new friends I will meet next semester, but now even that stuff doesnt matter to me. I hate that I can't take control of myself.

Hi Shakedown,

I know exactly how you are feeling. I am feeling the same way. It is killing me. I keep looking at my phone, and I want to dial his number and talk to him. I wonder what he is thinking, is he missing me? Is he still mad at me? Did/does he still mean that 'the ship has sailed'? I have no idea... but it is breaking my heart... the way he is and can easily write me off and shut his feelings and emotions off like a switch... I am so upset too...

hjpan · Jun 3, 2008, 06:24 PM

Originally Posted by starlite1

Hi Shakedown,

I know exactly how you are feeling. I am feeling the same way. It is killing me. I keep looking at my phone, and I want to dial his number and talk to him. I wonder what he is thinking, is he missing me? Is he still mad at me? Did/does he still mean that 'the ship has sailed'? I have no idea....but it is breaking my heart...the way he is and can easily write me off and shut his feelings and emotions off like a switch....I am so upset too....

But do not consider the military route unless you have spent a good amount of time self-evaluating and receiving right information.

I'm in the same boat as well~ I want to dial, but I refrain myself. It is hard, but I am persisting. On top of that, I told her that I WILL make myself famous and popular due to a good contribution to others and society.