[Never-Again]

Your messing yourself up honestly get help ! If not then your going to look and feel like crap permanantly! You might even go insane but who knows your choices and you seem to make pretty bad choices lol sorry but it's trrue have fun drinking though.. see you

[justme005]

Fair enough.

[simoneaugie]

I used to drink in college, went to a lot of parties. My friends slowly went away though. There were new ones then, they'd hang around until I was drunk enough to give them money, or let them borrow my car. More than 10 years out of college, I had lost all of my friends, cars and jobs and, and.

They say that you have to hit bottom. Bottom is where, and when you stop digging. I should have stopped in college, but it was all around me and what would I tell my friends? The lesson can take hold in college, or it can become clear later.

It became clear to me when I worked (hungover) in a state run nursing home. Over 30% of the people living there, were there because of alcoholism. All the alkies were 35 or older. (That gives you what, about 12-15 years?) There was one man there who was in a wheelchair. His mouth was always open, because he didn't remember to shut it. He could not talk except in grunts and he ate whatever he could grab. Wrapped sandwiches went right in, plastic and all. He was 55, and his only real problem in his whole life was alcohol. They had plenty of wheelchairs, one for me, one for you.

AA is both anonymous and free. Sponsors do not charge and if you really want help, you've got it. AA however, is not for those who need it. It is there for those who want it. By going, you will meet other girls just like you. Then you will have friends who do not drink. There, you can get to know people who understand just how hard it is to quit.

[justme005]

I see...

[justme005]

OK so I am having this relationship thing going on rite now and it kind of ties into the whole alcohol and drugs thing.

This guy Brad has been friends w. me for 3 yrs now. He liked me frosh yr and asked me to date him. I rejected him, because I wasn't feeling into him. Now 3 yrs later we hooked when we were durnk the other night. Now he's asking me again if I can give him a chance... I kind of didn't respond and he got the vibe I didn't want to... he pouted, bicthed and asked me what I was feeling... I can't really put it into words, I just don't think he's rite for me. He drinks a lot... smokes pot and ciggs... he's not to into school. He's been introuble w. the school... and he moves very fast. He is all about sex and I am not. I'm always too scared w. the pregnancy thing. I've got so much on the line. He's very pushy and likes public affection... I never really had a "boyfriend" so I think I'm also feeling nervous to go into something especially w. him. I just think he's trouble, esp for me. I just don't know what to do because I do like him at times and sometimes I don't... but all he wants is a chance. He said we'll quit pot and alcohol together. But I no he can't he's tried before...

I'm sorry this is so long I just got bak from smoking w. him and having a long talk and I'm confused... and high... and I need some advice. You all have been so good to me and I trust your opionions.

Thanku.

[HistorianChick]

Honey! You can't say anything about or base any argument upon the fact that he "drinks a lot, smokes pot and cigs" because Darlin, you know your own addiction to alcohol (and, as you're writing this you admit to being "high" after coming back from smoking with him).

It sounds like you are seeing yourself in him and rejecting him because he is what you don't want to become...

Bottom line: you don't need to be in a relationship with anyone until you are well enough to be IN the relationship. You need to take care of yourself before you even think of a guy.

[talaniman]

I have already read your other posts, and being inexperienced has caused you to focus on the wrong things. When you are ambiguous as you are to a relationship, then Don't do it. Leave yourself open to other options that may be healthier, and more emotionally rewarding. Why screw up with the first thing that shows you attention?

[peggyhill]

You need to focus on your mental health before you worry about a relationship. Once you are sober and on track, then you can look for a guy with the attributes you want. You should steer clear of this guy. Don't be with someone you don't feel that way about. Tell him that the only reason you "hooked up" was because you were drinking and, no offence, he isn't the guy for you. Tell him it was a mistake and you are sorry if it led him on. You won't get him to quit, he will get you to drink and use drugs more. When you go into the relationship trying to change someone, it usually doesn't work. More often than not, the person you are trying to change drags you down with him/her.

[justme005]

Wow.. thanks for the advice... I think I will tell him.. no ofense your just not for me... when he asked why what should I say? Lol

[peggyhill]

Just tell him the truth. Tell him that you aren't attracted to him in that way. Tell him that you don't think being in a relationship with someone who drinks and does drugs is a good thing for you. Tell him that you aren't ready for a relationship right now and that he moves too fast for you as far as sex. Hope this helps! :)

[justme005]

Wow... thanks again. I hope this works... he's the last thing I need. I think this is the rite thing to do. Hopefully I can tell him...

[talaniman]

The truth is you only like him when your drunk. It may break his heart, but he can drown that in a bottle. (most people look better when your drunk, that holds for all of us)

[Wondergirl]

i think this is the rite thing to do. hopefully i can tell him...

No. Say it this way:

This is the right thing to do.

I will tell him.

In fact, don't tell him anything. Stay away from him.

[justme005]

OK even better. But thatll be tough

[peggyhill]

It'll be tough but it's the best thing for you. And the best thing for him too, although he may not see it that way at first. Otherwise he will be hanging around you, hoping that maybe he has a chance, when in reality he has none. He might be sad, but I'm sure he will appreciate your honesty.

[talaniman]

Who ever said life was easy??

[justme005]

I did. Haha

[justme005]

I need help.

[talaniman]

We know.

[justme005]

Drrrrrrrrrrrunnnnnnnnnnk again. Talking to mymadviors tomorrow. If I have the balls.