[Righthearted]

Here's what I do know - after she broke up with me.
- about 10 days later she called me crying, had a bad day and really needed to hear my voice
- sent me an email the day after she called me asking me if it was all right that she called
- last week we ran into each other at the gas station where she asked for a hug of course I gve her one
- she's babysitting for some friends of mine in a couple of weeks

Is she really moving on what is going on? Do I stop no contact and call her or text her?

[talaniman]

Just because you have started a new thread doesn't mean you'll get different answers. Reread your other posts and you'll see that this question has been answered. Have you noticed that every time you see her, or she calls you get more confused? Sooner or later you will realise you will never have what you had with her, and the best thing to do is accept this is over, she wants you as a friend to make her feel better, nothing more. Now move on. STOP THE MADNESS! That would be better for you both.

[Righthearted]

I understand that - but can you explain this one?

I text messaged her the other night - just saying that I was thinking about and wanted to say hi, and she called me the following morning to tell me that she got my message and didn't call me sooner because she was flying home. Why did she call me back? And so quickly?

[talaniman]

She has to keep you as a friend. You will get just enough to keep you wondering, but not enough to push you away. Stop calling and then stop taking her calls, and you will see something that you need to see.

[Righthearted]

Well she's called me 3 times today, didn't leave any messages - now what?

[talaniman]

Must be extremely important since she didn't leave a message. What do you think? Call her later and find out. Your really curious, and so are we.

[Righthearted]

So we talked for about 2 hours and she says she's not ready for a relationship. And I agreed that we would need to take things really slowly. She wants to get together and do things but can't really committ, she asked me if it was okay if she went out with other people and I said that it was a deal breaker. I asked her how she would feel if I went out with other girls and she didn't know -thought she might go psycho-ex girlfriend mode. I feel like we made some progess and we really communicated the things that were important to us in our relationship. I think we're going to get together at the end of the week - something casual. Who knows what'll happen - I really got that she was confused and scared about a lot of things. Hopefully we'll make it work.

[mckenzie134]

STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP!! THIS IS NOT WORKING MORON!! (sorry)

What you are doing is not working don't do what you have been doing all you are doing is justing hanging on a lifeline which she has got dangling. I did this WILL NOT WORK Not!!


I can tell from your thread you told her well we will have to take it really slowly. The only reason you said that is cause you are thinking well I can tell her and she will agree and take it slow and you will be together!! NO F ING WAY THIS WILL HAPPEN!! And if it did you'll be out again.

She wanted a break, DO NOT LET HER CRY ON YOU!! Your moving on you have to show her you Don't have time for crap you don't want a girl who doesn't know what she wants!!

You have to be the best! The best is NOT waiting THE BEST is busy! The BEST has options if she's unsure there's plenty out there who are sure!!

Even though at the moment you want her and really you are a wussie well you have to pretend your not.

This is what you do!! STARTING NOW!!

You do not answer for 1 week at all no text nil. You also have your phone switched off every second night. That's right OFF OFF OFF! You be unavailable even though you are probably lying in bed crying, you must show you are busy so she will wonder and can't tal;k to you. The less she can talk to you the more she will want too.

Do this for a week and see how it goes. Or else try your s h I t way and keep hanging on and you know what she will say

"IM JUST NOT READY FOR A RELATIONSHIP AT THE MOMENT" I JUST WANT TO WORK ON MYSELF FOR A WHILE... Then your out

Let me know how you go!!

[mckenzie134]

Also I hust rered what you just said in that last post!!

I Don't BELIEVE I MISSED IT!!

She said she's not READY for a relationship!! And you said I agree we need to take it slow!! YOU didn't hear what she said she said not ready and you said TAKE IT SLOW!! TAKE WHAT SLOW THE DOG FOR A WALK! WAKE UP!!
Then I go on and see she wants to know if she can see other people!! The only reason she wants to see other people is she Don't want you at the moment, cause your hanging around!!

Then you ask her what about you seeing other people WHAT SHI T IS THAT!! She wanted a break of cause your seeing other people you're the great bloke your not waiting for anyone!!

You don't need to ask her you tell her this!! LISTEN RIGHT NOW!!

Whaen she says cyan I see other people you say yeah Im going to the movies with this girl I met out last Friday Night!! That's right you reply with yes go and see other people yourve got a date Friday NIght!! Don't be SCARED of losing her!!

She hasn't got a date she will be f ing freaking all night Friday thiunking how your date is going and you know what on that Friday your phone is switched off and not back on till the next night. You rve gootta let her know you might have found someone who knows what she wants!!

DO THIS BNEXT TIM DO THIS IF YOU MUST SPEAK TO HER LET HER KNOW YOURVE GOT A BIG DATE LINED UP! PEOPLE can't ENJOY THEMSELVES IF THERE EX IS ON A DATE .

You are thinking if I tell her I'm on a date then she will go on a date and find someone! BULL she will be that worried yes WORRIED about your date even if she is on one this bloke won't be her type at all she will be thinking of you!!


DO IT IF YOU HAVE TO TALK ON PHONE Don't PLAY AROUND ANYMORE THIS WILL WORK!! YOUR CHOICE, your other way is just going to make her comfortable and she will find another bloke who will be a jerk and tell he stop talking to the ex and she will!

BE THE MAN TONIGHT!!

[Righthearted]

I did what you're talking about, didn't talk to her for a week (a couple at that). She called me 6x today and left me 2 messages and drove by my house to share some dinner with me. I wasn't home so she didn't stop. We don't play games that's not what we're about. I told her that it wasn't okay for her to "date" other people and reversed it on her - she wasn't very comfortable thinking about me dating other girls. She initiated contact, not me.

[mckenzie134]

Listen I Know you don't want to play games but this is not games...

This is just looking after yourself and making her feel more attracted to you. This is the reason she is so unsure she is losing the attraction!! She is only coming back cause she is missing you give her thet

Make her miss you, you are not understanding!!

IWhaen you disappear she wants you more arnt you finding a trend you must do this if you want her. Or keep trying your stuff but please keep me informed any news today??

[mckenzie134]

If you think talking to her and working it slowly is your go whatever is in your heart you will go with. Many people say different things on here but it is up to the individual to do what they want cause they will in the end. When was the last time you spoke and what wdid the conversation say I need details. Thanks

[talaniman]

Hopefully we'll make it work.

You are in the friend zone. And that's where you'll be after she finds someone.

[yathink103]

If she feels like I'm moving on by doing no contact, which I've been doing - and then she feels like she should move on as well because I'm not reaching out to her - I don't want to be the "one that got away". What to do?

Simple, ASK?

[mckenzie134]

"I feel like this is the best thing for us right now. Daniel and I had some problems in our relationship and I honestly just could not see us moving forward together. It was a really hard decision to make and I truly feel like I lost my best friend, but at the same time I feel a sense of freedom now. Daniel was such a big part of my life. He was all I knew. I am going through a huge transition now that I am done with school. I am trying to figure out what I want to do and who I want to be and I just feel like I need to do that for me before I can settle down with someone else. Daniel has 14 years of life experience that I don't have which I think he forgot sometimes. I just feel like I need some me time. In college I had a plan and now that I am out of college and things aren't going quite as planned I feel a little lost. I told Daniel I needed space, and it was really hard for him to hear. I care about him so much and I never meant to hurt him. I do need time to be my own person though."



THIS IS WHAT I GOT FROM AN OLD POST OF YOURS...

My girlfriend said exactly the same thing two months ago. Honestly exact!! Im 6 vyears older than her and she said I had more life experiences than her she is in her last year of a five year course and wants to work out where she is headed in life. Let me tell you this may sound like she is talking to you but what she is really saying is this

I Don't FEEL THE SAME WAY ABOUT YOU AS I USED TO BECAUSE I USED TO MISS YOU HEAPS WHEN WE WERE TOGETHER FOR THE FIRST YEAR BUT NOW I LOVE YOU AND CARE FOR YOU CAUSE YOUR SUCH A BIG PART OF MY LIFE BUT IT IS NOT A PASSIONATE LOVE LIKE IT USED TO BE SHE LOVES YOU MORE LIKE A FAMILY MEMBER!! SOMEONE WHO SHE CAN TALK AND RELY ON NOT LOVE YOU LIKE SHE WANTS YOU TO RIP HER PANTS DOWN AND GIVE HER A LESSON!!

IF YOU DOINT LEAVCE AND CUT OFF ALL CONTACT WITH HER RIGHT NOW YOU WILL NEVER GET HER PANTS AROUND HER ANKLES AGAIN!! AND FURTHER MORE YOU WILL BE OPN THIS SITE IN A FEW MONTHS AND YOUR POST WILL READ SOMETHING LIKE THIS!!

My ex and I were on a break but now she's met this guy she tells me its nothing serious and she still loves me but just needs time to work things out. She always sends me messages saying how much she misses me (MIND YOU THAT IS WHILE SHE IS NOT RIDING HIS SLONG CAUSE THE NEW GUY IS BUSY) anyway back to it. The new guy she has met she says he doesn't treat her anywhere near as good as I treated her and she still always rings me what does this mean?? I know she still loves me but I'm not sure what to do now!!


Well this is what will happen nshe will get a new guy and you will be the buddy!! Get out Now and give yourself every possible chance!! It took me two months to finally leave my ex alone!! You have told us she has not got many friends, don't you see while you are around she won't miss you she is relying on you for support and friendship till the new bloke sweeps her off her feet!! DTHIS IS NO LONGER A GAME I AM TALKING ABOUT>THIS IS LIFE AND IF YOU WANT TO WALK AWAY WITH THE GIRL< PLEASE Disappear AND IF SHE DOES NOT WANT YOU WELL SHE NEVER REALLY DID.

All I am seeing from her end is that she wants to be friends and see other people. When you first met she would never had mentioned seeingh other people cause she was to keen on you.

What I have told you today will be of benefit to you and I know you are saying I've tried no contact. Well its about time you tried this simple few words when she rings.

IVE HAD ENOUGH OF THIS IM THE TYPE OF PERSON WHO LIKES TO HAVE A GOOD TIME AND IM GOING TO DATE SOME OTHER PEOPLE AND MEET SOMEONE WHO IS MORE SURE OF WHAT THEY WANT, I HAVE GIVEN YOU SOME CHANCES BUT YOUR TO UNSURE FOR ME!! ANYWAY HAVE FUN BYE .

That is what you say and hang up and tuirn your phone off! GIVE IT TIME Don't BACK DOWN. The firmer your decision the more she will come for you and hopefully tell you I've decided I am ready and then you can be with her!!

[Jiser]

Lol! Just go get yourself some sort of reality check. Ok she wants you but doesn't. Well have more of a life then and in time you will become indifferent. Just don't hold up on just her.

[Righthearted]

I've done what you're saying.
She knows that I don't want her to date anyone else and if she does I'm long gone. That's why we talked for 2 hours.

[mckenzie134]

You said you have done what I'm saying!! Noyour not you spoke toherfor two hours. STOP DOING THAT STOP STOP STOP!!

SHE KNOWS YOU Don't WANTHER TO DATE ANTONE ELSE That's GOT NOTHING TO DO WITHYOU < YOU MAKE IT SOUND LIKE YOU ARE HAVING THE CHOICES YOU Haven't!!

You need to not tell her anything don't tell her what to do tell er absolutely nothing, why are you still talking to her!!

Disappear my friendcome on here and chat but I've her a spell you can't work anything outby talking about it you needto be gone!!

I know you say you havedonethat but you didn't do it for long or good enough.

You MUST not talk and answer nextthree times she calls and then on the next time IF SHE CALLS you answer and saywhatdo you want stop calling me you said you wanted it to be over so that's it!! You made your decision...

THIS ISWHAT NEEDS TO BE DONE SHE ISSTILL DRAGING YOU BY HE BALLS GIVINGYOU FALSEHOPE ON THE RELATIONSHIP YOUHAVE NO CHANCEAT THE MOMENT 0% of getting her back...

I believe youstill have a good chanceof getting her back hereif you handle ittherightway.

YOou said she knows I don't want her to date orim long gone!! \\\\


JEEZ YOU SHOULD BE LONG GONE NO MATTER WHAT SHE IS DOING WHYARE YOU WAITING AROUND DO YOU REALLY BELIEVE SHE IS MAKING A DECISION

I ILLTELLYOU RIGHT NOW YOU WILL BE LONGGONE SOON WHEN SHE FINDS HER NEXT BLOKE!!

ELL BE LONG GONE NOW GOD DAM IT WAKE UP YOU SAID YOU WILL BE LONG GONE WHEN SHE DATES BE BLOODY LONG GONE NOW AND GIVE YOURSELF A CHANCE!!

Let me know what yourdecision is have you had anymore phone cobnversations and what hasshe said??

Hope you know I am helping you sorry if sounds a bit rude but I am here to talk too... GOOD LUCK.

[Righthearted]

I know what you're saying - easier said than done. It's easy to make those recommendations but relationships are a lot more complex than that.

From our conversation the other night -
I told her that if she's looking to date other people that I'm not here for that, I want us to try again and go slowly. Then I turned it around on her and asked her how she would feel if I dated someone and she said that she didn't know and that she might go psycho-ex-girlfriend mode. She's the one that seems to be pushing to be with me - why would I push her away? Like I said she called me 6 times the other day and left me 2 messages.

[talaniman]

Let us know when she is all the way back. Good Luck.