[broken_ heart]

Yes, I do have a friend now with whom I think I can share these things.

[talaniman]

Then you no longer need him in your life and can vent, rant, and rebuild a life you enjoy without him. He may harass you again, but then you need to take the proper steps to STOP him from doings so. Legal of course.

When ignoring someone doesn't work, call for help. Bet his fiancé can stop him, what do you bet? Or a cop!! Or a male friend! You have options, he does NOT, except to leave you alone, or face consequences for his bad behavior.

[broken_ heart]

I think you are right, if his wife comes to know about this, she will kill him and I think he would not like this to happen.

[vanheart]

As far as you are concerned now, he, his new wife or anything else that has to do with him are no longer your concern.

You are now invisible to him. Stay that way.

And, yes, if this becomes an harassment issue. Call the cops.

You are better off now.

[broken_ heart]

He has stopped all kind of communication with me now. That's what I was wanting for a long time, but I am not feeling good about it which I should. I am looking on his name, reading that again and again. I know finally its over from his side as well and this is the right thing, I don't know why the hell I am feeling like this. I hate him but why I am feeling like this.

[talaniman]

Your feelings are normal, and rather healthy, as you grieve from the finality, and acceptance of your loss. It hurts, but is a good healthy sign.

7 STAGES OF GRIEF

[broken_ heart]

Two days back in midnight he started calling me and kept on calling me for almost one and half hour. I saw his missed calls in morning. Then in morning he sent me message apologizing for the last night calls and said he only wanted to know how I am doing to which I didn't reply. I need help to get rid of his thoughts. From the past 10-11 days I keep on cursing him all the time for what he has done with me. I don't want to think about him but always find myself in doing it. I try to divert my mind to some other things and end up with headache. Even in nights I am unable to sleep and if I get sleep, I find myself dreaming about him and cursing him in dreams as well. I was never like this and I never said anything bad to him ever and this kind of my behaviour is surprising me a lot. I want to get rid of his thoughts whether its good or bad. Do I need some medical help to forget him completely?

[vanheart]

No, just stay NC. Don't worry that he's trying to contact you.

I went through the same. Dealing with those thoughts, nightmares, etc..

The reality is that he doesn't your time or thoughts. He not in your life anymore.

You don't deserve them either, unless you use them to heal.

Don't worry. It takes time. Make sure that you are doing nice & productive things for yourself.

Its been over a year for me, and when thoughts of my ex pop in, I quickly start thinking of anything else.

The busier you are with cool stuff, the less you have time to waste filling your head with him.

And block him.

Don't listen to his voicemails.

Treat everything as spam. Delete.

Thoughts of him? Delete...

[broken_ heart]

These days I am missing him a lot. We are not in touch now for a long time and he is also not trying which is good, but still I am missing him. I want to move on with life, but whenever I try, his thoughts take me 10steps back. How do I forget him, I have tried all but I am not able to come over him.

[talaniman]

Healing is a process, not an event, it takes time, just like rebuilding your life, it takes time and effort.

[talaniman]

That depends on how you use your time, and the effort you put in, to make the right adjustments, and how patient you are with yourself.

[vanheart]

This guy was bad news. Think about that.

Its been long enough. You really got to move on.

Don't wait around missing his BS anymore. Waiting for him to reel you back in again.

Screw that.

Its great you haven't been in contact. Keep it that way.

There's really no need to miss him, unless you like misery. Haven't you wasted enough time on him?

[broken_ heart]

I am here again to get some insight into the matter. I went for an interview, everything was almost done then I came to know it was him after all this. He gave my reference over there. I didn't join and came back. One of my friend says that he is trying to have an affair with me and its just a part of it. But he said he was concerned for me and will always be there whenever I need him. We are not in touch for a long long time. I don't know anything about him or his life and even not interested to know. And he behaved like nothing was there between two of us ever. At the same time after so many months of his marriage why he want my friendship?
Are his intentions still same and he is just pretending to be innocent? Or he is actually changed?
I am over him and being a friend to him is not going to bother me. But the question is why should I? I don't see myself as his friend.
And again, he wants to be my friend, is this called cheating on his part to his wife? Lot of questions here. Please advice.

[vanheart]

Hes using you. Wants you in his back pocket.

Don't be his friend or anything else.

You are getting nothing out of this situation.

Move on. Leave him & this in the dust.

[talaniman]

I can't say if it was a play to get your confidence, or just being nice to a friend, but since you passed on it, and will not be in his debt, so feel free to forget it, and don't trip on motives that only he can know. You are not beholding to him for anything and that's a good place to be.

You may never have real answers to your questions, but you don't need them either if you really consider it. He did what he did, and all that matters is what you did about it, once you found out. That was a profound step to take for yourself.

No matter his motives, you proved you don't need him in your life.

[broken_ heart]

I agree with both of you..

[broken_ heart]

I did the biggest mistake of my life. He kept on trying talking to me and I gave in. Its been two months now.. we are in touch... never met... But we talk almost everyday during his office hours almost half of the day except on weekends... nothing romantic at all.. just the general talks... without his wife's knowledge... he is very much happy in his life.. and I found no guilt in him... and I am sure now that I will never find any... I am feeling really bad now... hurt again... I am repenting over why I started talking to him... it made me miserable... I don't know what I need to do now... I am not getting the words to explain how I am feeling right now...

[talaniman]

You don't have to explain the feelings, we already know the misery only to well. The thing to do is stop having all contact, and keep it that way.

[kaka67]

You need to listen to Talaniman and leave it alone.

We all have out limits of what we will put up with, when you get sick of this you will move on.

Not before more damage is done unfortuantely.

[broken_ heart]

But what would I tell him... why I don't want to talk...