[kctiger]

So help desk, you've been there for me every step of the way. Do I sit back and wait, stay the f away, or take some steps towards her (if that's how I truly feel).

If I were you I would get busy enjoying life, and anything(anyone) in life that wants a piece of me, well... it(they) know how to find me. Other than that, put effort into having fun, no matter what.

[Romefalls19]

Ever see the movie Saving Silverman? I think someone needs to do that to you. Whenever you mention you ex's name, you get zapped. Maybe you will learn then

[vanheart]

Yeah, like a dog collar...

[Coffee Pot]

Trust me, this isn't holding me back from having fun, seeking out other love interests, and enjoying life. This isn't a Coffee Pot sits at home and waits for his cell phone to ring hoping the ex.

If she attempts at giving it another shot, just because she is an ex I should keep that door shut?

[Romefalls19]

Don't just keep it shut,nail it closed!

[Coffee Pot]

Don't just keep it shut,nail it closed!

And if I ignore this advice, what do you believe is the likely outcome? ;)

[kctiger]

And if I ignore this advice, what do you believe is the likely outcome? ;)

You are a walking contradiction. You sit here claiming you are over all of this, yet you are tripping over your tongue over one VAGUE text conversation.

Relax CP, and ease up on the caffeine. ;) Stop worrying about the ifs and just enjoy the moments.

[amicon]

Stay away from it, Coffee Pot. You can't revive a dead horse.

[Cat1864]

And if I ignore this advice, what do you believe is the likely outcome? ;)

The original post only ten times worse. :rolleyes: ;)

CP, you are probably always going to care about this person. She will probably always have a special place in your heart and thoughts, but that is where she needs to stay. That is the place that she needs to keep you in, too.

If there was ever a chance for you to get together again, I would suggest years from the present after you both have a lot more experiences behind you. Anything sooner would be rebound on both of your parts. Sticking with the known because it is comfortable not because you have worked out all of the current problems and learned through trying to work with other people different ways to communicate with each other.

[Coffee Pot]

All right, all right, all right. Through unanimous decision it seems like I shouldn't only stay away but I should 'Run to the Hills.' Since I am a huge Iron Maiden fan, I will play that song any time she tries and contacts me, which of course has been a big fat goose egg since the last time we talked(fully expected).

And no I haven't taken any steps back, I have been thinking about her a little more than usual lately but this is just one of the many curveballs that life throws at you. There will be no stale Coffee left on the burner.

[Cat1864]

There will be no stale Coffee left on the burner.

Good. :)

[amicon]

Good choice!
Take care.

[vanheart]

Congratulations. Nice one.
Keep rocking it CP.

It only gets easier.

[Coffee Pot]

So it's been just over 8 months since the breakup and I thought I would give everyone an update.

Since my last post I stupidly contacted her again sometime in mid-February. She asked why I was still so bitter to which I answered I wasn't at all and we just had a 5-6 message text conversation. Last weekend I saw one of her friends who told me the ex wanted to say hi. Other than that there has been zero contact.

I can 100% tell that I am healing. I don't really feel sadness at all anymore. I miss her still and seem to think about her at least once everyday. Mostly when I wake up exhausted (usually the most depressing part of the day, ha). I don't long for her anymore but sometimes wish things were still as they were 8 months ago (though I do realize our relationship wasn't as strong as I had once thought).

I've seen and heard now that she misses me too, and that she is going through the healing process. It made things easier on me to know these things but also seems to have lengthened the process because seeing that she is still single gives me ideas that we could still get together some day.

I'm not sure if that is a bad thing to think. If we're meant to be we're meant to be. But at least at this point I will be happy either way. I know I can live without her, and I know I can find someone better for me. It just doesn't change the fact that I still miss her, love her, and have feelings for her. NC has been a blessing and has made me feel tremendous.

I'm going to a party next month at a mutual friend's house. It's a reunion of sort and the ex will be there. I can't avoid this party at this point so I know I'll have to see her there. Any advice on how I should handle the situation. I won't be able to ignore her but I don't want to get cornered into a serious conversation. Anything I should expect? I'll probably just be myself say hello, catch up real quick and then enjoy my time at the party.

Again thanks to everyone for all the help. This pot of coffee is freshly brewed now.

[amicon]

Good to know you are doing so well.

As for the future,nobody knows what will happen.

The party,polite but busy would be your best option if you can't avoid going.

Enjoy your coffee.

[Cat1864]

I am very glad that you seem to be doing well.

Don't build the party or any possible contact with the ex up in your mind. Be ready to be polite. Don't try to force small talk. Don't plan on 'catching up'. Be yourself.

Good luck. :)

[Coffee Pot]

The rollercoaster ride.

Not sure what triggered this set back, it's probably a list of multiple things. Texting her a couple of weeks ago, hearing about her two weekends ago, looking at little things on Facebook again. Not sure what it was but this week I was extra tired and work has been slow. Today this whole thing hit me like a ton of bricks and I just can't get her out of my head. My heart is itching at me to contact her and see how she's doing and to tell her I miss her. Probably the worst/lowest I've felt in a couple of months. I guess these days still happen from time to time. I have to ignore my heart and listen to my head (which is pretty much everyone on here).

I feel like I am rehashing the same ole song and dance from weeks ago, but I guess this is just the roller coaster ride. We were together for about 4 years and we were best friends for 2 or so years before that. I guess it will just take more time. Day by day, things will keep moving forward.

[vanheart]

"it's probably a list of multiple things. Texting her a couple of weeks ago, hearing about her two weekends ago, looking at little things on Facebook again. Not sure what it was?"

That's excactly what it was.

[Coffee Pot]

"it's probably a list of multiple things. Texting her a couple of weeks ago, hearing about her two weekends ago, looking at little things on Facebook again. Not sure what it was?"

Thats excactly what it was.

Ha! The problem with these little things is they don't feel weird or depressing directly after they happen. It usually takes 3-4 weeks before they hit you. Subconsciously it makes me feel like they aren't connected even though they obviously are.

No contact consists of entirely no contact. Even when you think you're doing well the lesson is to not reach out, just keep pushing forward with NC.

[amicon]

That's it-no contact,no texting or Facebook-if it brings back the rollercoaster,you're not ready.

Give it the time it takes.