[hannah_nicole]

What the hell is NC? What are you on about?

[slan12]

You know.. that's why I snooped. I regretted it after I did it. Mostly #3. And maybe another reason. Stay Strong man, we are or were in the same boat at one time. I'm still in that boat with ya and I don't think i'm jumping ship anytime soon :)

Hey man, I would listen to this guy... he really knows what he's talking about!!
He has helped me out of my little problem and now that I took his advise, I get the feeling that everythings going to be all right... and stick with the working out... it really helps relieve the stress!! And don't just do it alone! To me, nothing beats the feeling of walking out of the gym with my friends after we just wasted some guy who was thought he was cool for lifting 100 pounds! Hahahaha!!


OORAH!

[redwee74]

Hey Brew, in same situtation. No contact for a week. Heard about new guy. What the He11. Just do not break no contact. Do things talk with you friends. I only have 2 as well. All of other friends were relatives of the ex or went to school with her. All on her side, like you she left out all of the stuff she done. I don't degrade her to them I just stay away. So good luck and you can do this just like I can had a bad day today came here and answered questions and posted some. Do anything just know you are better off to do the no contact. Good luck!!

[cowboyjai]

Heya brew, don't really have anything knew to add. Just letting you know I'm still here cheering for you

How's it all going anyway, how you holding up this week?

[busterite]

have only 2 friends (literally, no exaggeration) right now, so at least they help keep me busy 2 or 3 days out of the week. The weekends are the hardest.

One thing this whole situation has done for me is try and find the positive side of things going on in my life. Even if I'm having a bad day I try and find the smallest positive thing going on and focus on that. You have 2 friends and a whole community on this site willing to help you out, don't forget about that and you still have your health and the will to get over this so you will be fine. The weekends are tough because you were used to spending them with her. Maybe start by joining a club or society, pick up a sport, a team sport will help your social skills as well. What is something you always wanted to learn or do but never had the time for?

So, today is her birthday. While I'm down, I've done well in controlling contacting her, even if it's just to say Happy Birthday. I know she won't care. She's out drinking it up with her friends and new guy. I know she isn't thinking about me. No point in me thinking about her.

You are doing well in protecting yourself. It is just one day and it will pass. I you feel like you can't resist the urge just come here and vent.

[BrewCrew0981]

I hear you, buster. I'm trying to go out and do things, even if it's only a few times a week. Who knows who I'll meet. Maybe my next best friend.

I hear you on the weekends. I'm so used to being with her (we lived together for 3 years) every weekend, and did everything together. Now that's gone. I will admit, she is starting to fade from my mind. While I will never forget, and still miss her greatly, I can't really hear her voice anymore the way I used to.

I'm doing the best I can to protect myself. Nothing good can come out of contact. Especially knowing that it will just be me making a lame attempt to reconcile, when I know she will just ignore it.

[busterite]

I'm doing the best I can to protect myself. Nothing good can come out of contact.

Exactly, that's definitely good to hear

I'm trying to go out and do things, even if it's only a few times a week. Who knows who I'll meet. Maybe my next best friend.

You never know. The main thing is to keep yourself busy with stuff you enjoy. Just think how much effort, energy and time you spent trying to make the relationship work. You have now got the chance to divert all that into anything you want. Its an opportunity because as I said when one door closes another one opens. I always wanted to be in control of every aspects of my life and one thing I learnt from all this is that some things are beyond our control and we just have to let go and just see where things take us.

[BrewCrew0981]

So, I'm having a little bit of a down day. Yesterday was pretty good day for me. It's getting better day by day, but today I just woke up and was feeling down. Just have to ride it out.

But, I do have a question for you guys, since you always seem to have the right answers:

I had to hook up my old PC last night (haven't used it since my ex used it probably like a year ago). I found out all of her passwords and logins were saved in the browsers automatic pw save feature. So, my question is this: Should I shoot her a quick email saying she saved her passwords on my old PC and should change them? That's it, just something that simple. No hey how are you, whatcha doing or anything. The reason I want to, is because I know I'll eventually have a REALLY bad day again, and I don't want to urge to log in to all of her stuff to find out stuff I shouldn't/don't want to know about.

Thanks in advance for any answers!

[Dragonfly1234]

No. That's breaking no contact.

[busterite]

If they are just saved on the PC then you can just go to the settings of your PC and delete all saved passwords. I would try and find a solution that will not involve any form of contact. Just to be on the safe side.

[bigbird213]

Don't take this the wrong way...

But it sounds like you are trying to find an excuse to contact her. Having a down day will do that to you, just don't do it. You'll regret it afterward. It is easy for you to delete the passwords, or simply not use the computer (you haven't used it in over a year so why now?)...

[BrewCrew0981]

Nah, not taken the wrong way. You are all probably right. Just don't even bother. Subconsciously, I'm probably just thinking up a way to contact her. I'll just skip it.

[MC12545]

Guys. I feel you. Im going through a similar situation. What makes it hard for me is that she still calls and texts just to see what I'm doing. Its hard for me to not pick up the phone. After reading the posts here I've being no contact for 1 day. I know 1 day is nothing but I'm sure going to still to it to reach a year with NC. Better yet ill make it NC for ever. Im thinking of changing my number and just disappearing out of her life. I don't deserve what she did to me. She made me believe she loved me and wanted a future with me and then letting it go like nothing. But it only makes me stronger.

[wikedjuggalo]

Guys. I feel you. Im going through a similar situation. What makes it hard for me is that she still calls and texts just to see what im doing. Its hard for me to not pick up the phone. after reading the posts here ive being no contact for 1 day. I know 1 day is nothing but im sure going to still to it to reach a year with NC. Better yet ill make it NC for ever. Im thinking of changing my number and just dissapearing out of her life. I dont deserve what she did to me. she made me beleive she loved me and wanted a future with me and then letting it go like nothing. But it only makes me stronger.

Keep strong 1 day is something. Go for 3 days then 6 and so on :)

[BrewCrew0981]

Exactly. The first 2 weeks for me were the hardest. While I didn't break NC, I broke down twice pretty bad. I'm still down now, almost done with week 3, but it's getting better. Being alone is becoming normal, and she is slowly fading away.

[BrewCrew0981]

For anyone here who is just entering the post-breakup stage (or perhaps someone who has been broken up, but is having trouble moving on), with all of the crazy, confused and wild emotions; print this letter and hang it on your bedroom door and read it to yourself every morning when you get up:


I, (state your name), do, hereby, solemnly swear that I will not behave in the manner of a crazy ex-girlfriend/boyfriend. I will not participate in foolish or destructive behavior. I promise to act in a dignified fashion and that means I will not do stupid things, no matter how I might rationalize them. Therefore, I vow the following:

I will not call/text him/her. No matter what good or bad news I think he/she should hear only from me, I will not call him/her. Even if I am convinced it will make me feel better, I will not call him/her. I will not call him/her even to get my stuff. I'll have a friend do that, preferably via email.

I will not email him/her. Not even an innocent and rather funny group email forward. I will not email him/her simply to give him/her back his/her stuff. I will not contact him/her at all.

I will not stalk his/her Facebook, MySpace or the equivalent. I will drop him/her as a friend at all sites I currently have an account with, as well as all of his/her friends that he/she associates with. Even if I believe they are "mutual friends."

I will not frequent the places I know he/she goes to, even if I went there first and like it better. I acknowledge that this is not a pissing contest about territory. I know going to such places will hurt more than it will help. Until there has been some space and time between us, going to those places is asinine, can be viewed as stalker-ish and will be painful only to me.

I will not encourage or allow friends to do anything foolhardy, even with my best interest at heart. That includes talking to him/her when they see him in public to let him/her know he/she is a jerk and he'll/she'll never do better than me, or to share that I am looking fabulous, got a promotion, bought a new house and am dating Jake Gyllenhaal/Jessica Alba (or the regional equivalent thereof).

I will screen all of my calls. I will always use caller ID, and put a private call block on my phone. I will not answer the phone unless I know who it is and am sure it's not him/her. All other calls will go to voicemail. If it's important, I know they will leave a message.

I will not take his/her phone calls. I repeat, I will not take his/her calls.

I will not return his/her phone calls or emails. If he/she is "just checking" to see how I am, I know he/she is really just checking to see if I think he's/she's a jackass. He/She is looking for an ego stroke, not to get back together, and I know this because he/she did not start the communication with, "I am sorry. I made a mistake. I want us to get back together."

I will not look for signs that we will get back together. This includes asking the Magic-8 Ball or tarot card readers and the like. The only professional guidance I will seek will be that of a licensed therapist or member of the clergy.

I will not believe this is temporary. I will see this as permanent until proven otherwise by concrete actions, immense apologies and couple's therapy.

I will not hide under a rock, be humiliated or ashamed that this relationship ended. For all I know, this could be the best thing that ever happened to me. And I believe the wonderful stuff I deserve is on its way.

I promise to abide by these vows for a minimum of ninety (90) days, or until I have gotten over him/her, whichever is longer. This is about me feeling better and that has nothing to do with him.

This I do affirm. So help me.

Signed,

Me

by Sandra Ann Miller, love.ivillage.com

[Clough]

Hi, BrewCrew0981!

Those are some really excellent thoughts that you have posted!

However, if you're going to post something of that sort of length on this site that's from another site, it would be good if you would at least put a link in the post to the original website from where it originated in order to give some credit to the original author and/or source. If you know the name of the author, it would be best to be mentioning that also.

Thanks!

[G_A_G]

I know it's hard, my son is going through something similar to this right now and it's killing me. You have to be strong... respect yourself... move on and do not let her bring you down. Hang out with other friends, girls, whatever, keep yourself busy and I promise you with time, the pain will start to fade away.

GG

[LifeChangesMan]

I'm going to say if she's already seeing someone else, she probably didn't care that much about you to be honest, take this as a sign to move on. A buddy of mine had his girlfriend break up with him and found out she was with someone else really soon and my buddy after being upset and everything found condolence in the fact that it was over, and she wanted something else, making it easier to let go.

[LifeChangesMan]

Keep strong 1 day is something. Go for 3 days then 6 and so on :)

Sounds like an aspirin commercial. Lol :D