I don't know

letmeno · Oct 13, 2005, 10:04 PM

I don't think that it is us wanting to control men. If we wanted to control men, we would go after those spineless, needy, and clingy guy's that you SAY we loath so much. So which one is it Wildcat?

Wildcat21 · Oct 14, 2005, 06:50 AM

The needy guys annoy the hell out of you.

You want to change and control the jerks - but you can't

Chery · Oct 14, 2005, 07:13 AM

I figured we'd get your attention on this one. Babe, I can talk the Devil out of his Pitchfork if I want to, because it is not always what I say, but how I say it.:p

As far as the weak ones, sorry but I'm ready to be a grandma, not a mother again if you know what I mean. ;) But still don't mind helping now and then, so they can grow up to be strong, then give them back to 'mom'. Have a Good Weekend, all of you.

Wildcat21 · Oct 14, 2005, 07:31 AM

Chery - why did you stay with your daughters father? Just currious. Sounds just awful - sorry you went through that. A lot of women do that - when the 'nice' guy would take care of them and be there for them - BUT, the nice guy isn't the 'hot sexy' guy - the nice guy doesn't give you 'feeling' and you reject him - when logically he is the best suited for you.

That's why I always advised guys to take on a lot of jerk-like tendincies - don't be a jerk - just be independent, don't share your feelings, fewer compliments, hanf with your friends as well, stay in great shape etc.

Chery · Oct 14, 2005, 08:34 AM

Originally Posted by Wildcat21

Chery - why did you stay with your daughters father? Just currious. Sounds just awful - sorry you went through that. A lot of women do that - when the 'nice' guy would take care of them and be there for them - BUT, the nice guy isn't the 'hot sexy' guy - the nice guy doesn't give you 'feeling' and you reject him - when logically he is the best suited for you.

That's why I always advised guys to take on a lot of jerk-like tendincies - don't be a jerk - just be independent, don't share your feelings, fewer compliments, hanf with your friends as well, stay in great shape etc.

As I said before, I didn't want to get married in the first place, but during that era, it was the right thing for a gal to do - get married, since I was already 24 and people were scared I'd wind up being an 'old maid'. Then, when I was away from my family and friends and in a different country, he showed his real face. I was also taught that it was the woman's responsibility to 'keep the peace at home' so I tried that, but after 5 years, he made the mistake one day and missed me, but not my daughter with his belt, then he saw the look in my eyes and finally understood that if he did not leave right then, he would be carried out feet first. By that time I had already lost all self-respect, but when it came to my child, that was it.. I did allow him to see his daughter though and did not berate him in front of her, ever. She figured out what type he was all on her own. And a few years later, his parents wrote me to say they were sorry they blamed me for it all. Sociopaths don't wear signs, unfortunately. But that is a chapter in my life that helped me grow and seek help at the right time. There are things that I have revealed on several posts on this forum that my brothers don't even know about, thank goodness. But I know I'm not the only one that 'sh... happened to and am glad I can help others before it happens to them, or if it did, I can at least help them heal a bit.

Wildcat21 · Oct 14, 2005, 09:04 AM

Yes, times were really screwed up back then - so much pressure from society to conform.

Sicophaths come across a lot of times as a 'good guy' initially to suck the lady in. It's a front - once they have you their true colors come through.

There are f-d up woman out there as well... I dated one several years ago - so much baggage - her parents screwed her up so much - divorce, father cheating, mother alcoholic, brother an alcoholic/drug user and thief. She had to raise the family. Of course she had gone through a divorce.

Chery · Oct 14, 2005, 09:29 AM

Originally Posted by Wildcat21

Yes, times were really screwed up back then - so much presure from society to conform.

Sicophaths come across a lot of times as a 'good guy' initially to suck the lady in. It's a front - once they have you their true colors come through.

There are f-d up woman out there as well....I dated one several years ago - so much baggage - her parents screwed her up so much - divorce, father cheating, mother alcoholic, brother an alcoholic/drug user and thief. She had to raise the family. Of course she had gone through a divorce.

Yup, we all have those 'ol scars' and not just for playing football, or getting 'tennis arm'. Ain't life Grand?

Wildcat21 · Oct 14, 2005, 10:18 AM

Sometimes I wonder and I have a great life!

My current gal of course went through a divorce. My sister went through a nasty divorce. 55% of ALL marriages end in divorce. 70% + of second marriages end up in divorce.

90% of divrocees... end up marrying AGAIN! Why??

Things change so much when you marry.

Chery · Oct 14, 2005, 11:42 AM

We make our beds... you know the rest. Sometimes a change of furniture is necessary though for safety purposes.

one_life · Oct 14, 2005, 06:27 PM

I like the way chery and wildcat go back at each other. Really pleasant. Anyway getting back to me, since I'm the one in need here for advise (lol).

But seriously now, I have a feeling that my ex and that other guy I talked about earlier started up a secret relationship. The other guy works a floor below us. He used to quite frequently come up stairs to our floor to say hello to her and everybody else, but paid particular attention to my ex, but now he doesn't do that anymore. But today, when I was leaving for my break, I happen to see them together getting coffie. They were surprised to see me, like I caught them red handed (it was a akward feeling). Also Today, when I was leaving work at the end of my shift, I happen to cross paths with the guy, and usually we exchange greetings, but today he avioded all eye contact with me. I'm sure he saw me and pretented he did not. Just to let you know, there is no policy against dating co-staff in our company.

Trust me I'm not paraniod or anything, but there is something going on.
I just have to say, that it is just wrong and sneeky. She left me, and she is allowed to date who the hell she wants(it will hurt but I have to accept it). She knows I have good instincts about these things, why even try to hide it. Its useless. What's also wrong is the way she lead me on.
I just feel like not talking to her anymore and just ignoring her. But I think that will just make me look like sour grapes.