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    aimee_tt's Avatar
    aimee_tt Posts: 340, Reputation: 143
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    #121

    Aug 12, 2010, 11:00 PM

    LOL how about I just go slap her instead :P JOKES! Ive never been in a fight in my life. Id lose anyway.

    No but seriously I would kick your butt because your male and can't hit back hehe.

    Now she's gone concentrate on you! You seem like a great guy! Any girl would be lucky to have you. But for now you don't need a girl friend. You need to sort yourself out have fun being single then once you find the right girl then go for it.
    elwoodb's Avatar
    elwoodb Posts: 71, Reputation: 16
    Junior Member
     
    #122

    Aug 12, 2010, 11:18 PM

    Lol got me running scared! Mental note don't p*ss off Aimee...

    Staying away from females for a while, not finding it hard to switch back to single life I was always been an independent guy but boredom seems to be my main problem at the moment!
    fireguy40's Avatar
    fireguy40 Posts: 43, Reputation: 10
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    #123

    Aug 14, 2010, 08:42 AM

    Hi elwoodb glad things are picking up.
    Your right boredom is the killer ! How are you getting round it? I have to confess I struggle to find things to do, I was already in the gym for 2 hours a day so I can't add working out to the list lol
    vanheart's Avatar
    vanheart Posts: 2,806, Reputation: 708
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    #124

    Aug 14, 2010, 05:20 PM

    One thing that Ive learned is that being lonely sucks.

    Being alone can be great.

    What I mean by that is asking yourself the question:

    "Hey, what Im I gonna do today that feels good? or What can I do today to better myself?"

    Nobody else can mess that plan up.
    elwoodb's Avatar
    elwoodb Posts: 71, Reputation: 16
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    #125

    Aug 14, 2010, 11:48 PM

    Have to agree loneliness sucks, but I try and use that to go and meet new people. I'm in a new location and I'm starting to make new friends and come across old ones. There is an advantage to a new location, no chance of coming across the ex! None of that awkwardness for me :) Whilst the future that I saw for myself isn't going to happen, so be it. I can't control the future or change the past all I can do is control my current actions.

    As for boredom, I try a bit of everything at the moment, go to the gym a lot. But at night is the tough bit, I'm reading 3 books, bought an xbox and I've watched 4 seasons of 'how I met your mother'. I was intending to go overseas but my leave has not been approved so that's off. I've tried to set myself goals to achieve, not sure what yet but where's the fun in that?!
    vanheart's Avatar
    vanheart Posts: 2,806, Reputation: 708
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    #126

    Aug 15, 2010, 03:08 AM

    Well, when I say fun, its relative. Being on a base must be challenging. (Like being in a relationship)

    But I read & wrote a lot during my heartache. I read my thread 20 times over. Read a bunch too.

    Converse with friends & family. Stay close.
    Play as many sports as you can.

    I was a very good tennis player & neglected stuff like that.
    Now Im back.

    Im reading "The Alchemist" right now.

    Still learning.

    Got hooked on "Californication" for a bit.

    Then horror movies. Crazy ones.

    Whatever floats my boat at the time. To get away from the pain.

    Music of course. As a musician that's first & foremost for me.

    Whatever you enjoy.

    This is the greatest. To start again. You're free.
    elwoodb's Avatar
    elwoodb Posts: 71, Reputation: 16
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    #127

    Aug 16, 2010, 03:53 AM

    Vanheart what's a life without challenges, very boring! Living on base is nothing like the movies, well not this base anyway, not going to get any jarhead 'fun'. Tried out my knee for it's first real test, pulled up sore but can still meet min fitness standards not bad for 6 months of running. Still trying to keep busy, reading stieg Larson at the moment, Sherlock holmes and a book on the royal flying doctor service. But boredom is the battle!

    Btw I'm still getting texts from her, all they do is p*ss me off! Last one was her saying she was up for a promotion at work. Seriously shouldn't she have someone more important to tell instead of her ex boyfriend? I haven't replied, seems like some token bait put out to see if she will get a complement from me... This ship has sailed! Hopefully she gets the hint soon enough, my patience has run out. BTW blocking on her on fb, best thing I've done for myself so far, god its surprising how much you can be manipulated through it, whether it's intentional or not!
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #128

    Aug 16, 2010, 06:12 AM

    Progress is slow, but as long as its study, and headed in the right direction, you will be fine. Most times we are making better progress than we think, when we stay humble.

    Good luck on rehabbing that knee.
    Homegirl 50's Avatar
    Homegirl 50 Posts: 10,794, Reputation: 2604
    Dating & Teen Expert
     
    #129

    Aug 16, 2010, 07:57 AM

    You might want to try not reading her texts as well. I don't know why you still do.
    elwoodb's Avatar
    elwoodb Posts: 71, Reputation: 16
    Junior Member
     
    #130

    Sep 10, 2010, 05:48 PM

    Howdy guys, well I thought I'd give an update on what's been going on. Been on the road to recovery and doing pretty well, have been loving the freedom and independence so much. Made a heap of new friends and have even met a few cute girls as well, good fun is being had! Anyway I've come on here for a bit of a vent, got a text from the ex this morning asking how I was going etc. Also that there were some shots due for the dog. God its annoyed the crap out of me that text! Seriously I asked for all the details about this crap before NC so I could walk away and forget about everything! So bloody annoyed, she hasn't told me what the dog is due for either so I'd have to contact her to find out. Feels like blatant attempt to get me to talk with her, feels like an attempt to manipulate me again and she knows that the dog is the only button left she can push!

    Bah what an annoying way to start my Saturday!
    Just Looking's Avatar
    Just Looking Posts: 1,610, Reputation: 480
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    #131

    Sep 10, 2010, 06:05 PM

    Can't you contact the vet? I bet if you don't know the vet's name, you could contact a new vet and find out what shots a dog of that age would need. It's worth a try before you think about calling her. It would be great if you could just ignore her text.

    I'm glad to hear that otherwise you are doing well.

    PS - When you are annoyed, do something physical. Did you try a punching bag yet? :)
    elwoodb's Avatar
    elwoodb Posts: 71, Reputation: 16
    Junior Member
     
    #132

    Sep 10, 2010, 07:40 PM

    I'll try calling the last vet we had next week, haven't used a punching bag yet but I have been going to the gym 5 days a week, today is a rest day for me so I might go and kick a football around instead. I've found it annoying more then anything!
    kaka67's Avatar
    kaka67 Posts: 261, Reputation: 200
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    #133

    Sep 10, 2010, 08:19 PM

    Is it with her or you? The dog I mean...

    If its with her leave her to it.

    If its with you ignore her and go about your business.

    Its annoying you because it stirs up emotions NC has helped to suppress. That's why NC works.
    elwoodb's Avatar
    elwoodb Posts: 71, Reputation: 16
    Junior Member
     
    #134

    Sep 10, 2010, 08:31 PM

    I've got the dog currently, he's in holiday mode having great fun back at my parents place. I walked away from everything else of mine that she has, not worth the trouble! I'm happy that I'm annoyed about it, better then be upset about it!
    vanheart's Avatar
    vanheart Posts: 2,806, Reputation: 708
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    #135

    Sep 10, 2010, 08:58 PM
    Don't be her dog.
    kaka67's Avatar
    kaka67 Posts: 261, Reputation: 200
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    #136

    Sep 10, 2010, 09:08 PM

    I don't know why you haven't sorted out the dog ownership yet?

    If it belongs to you, you take it to the vet and pay for it.

    If its hers, give it back to you.

    If you both own it then buy her out or sell you share.

    Can't have NC and own a dog together.
    vanheart's Avatar
    vanheart Posts: 2,806, Reputation: 708
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    #137

    Sep 10, 2010, 09:13 PM
    Agree NC is NC, no matter what.
    elwoodb's Avatar
    elwoodb Posts: 71, Reputation: 16
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    #138

    Sep 10, 2010, 11:08 PM
    We purchased the dog together, we agreed at the time that if we broke up he would go to whoever had the best place for him to stay at. Which in this case was me and I doubt that she will find a place to rent in Sydney that would allow a big dog anyway (in our final talk she said she was going to live overseas next year as well). She walked away from him and I say she might be feeling guilty about that. I was under the impression that he was my dog. She was meant to post the paperwork for him months ago as well as some of my other stuff, she hasn't done it of course so I'll do without. I don't want anything to do with her anymore! So to sum up the dog is mine, no co-ownership, she's just trying to use it as leverage to get me to talk to her (I prseume).
    kaka67's Avatar
    kaka67 Posts: 261, Reputation: 200
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    #139

    Sep 10, 2010, 11:24 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by elwoodb View Post
    she's just trying to use it as leverage to get me to talk to her (I prseume).
    Yeah probably.

    Don't let it annoy you... :)

    Just keep NC!!
    vanheart's Avatar
    vanheart Posts: 2,806, Reputation: 708
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    #140

    Sep 10, 2010, 11:25 PM
    Good.

    Don't presume. That's EXACTLY what she's doing.
    Guilt. That's how it usually goes. Don't let her suck you in. Let her deal with own guilt.

    Screw the paperwork. You have the dog right?

    Nice try. To mess with you more. So you can make her feel like she actually has a heart. Oh, well...

    Don't respond ever again. She will get the message.

    Silence is golden, they say. Its true.

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