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hjpan · Jul 25, 2008, 08:50 AM

Originally Posted by talaniman

Everyone has their own ways, but keep your mind open to good people out there that have more experience, and can teach you much, despite circumstances of the past.

Prejudice can be very restricting, when it comes to your fellow human, especially the females.

Hmmm.... I just don't want someone else who has more experience cause my female companion WILL know what to do instead of us taking it slowly :O

bigbird213 · Jul 25, 2008, 08:54 AM

Originally Posted by scorpio24x

She asked me for time but i realized that its better to treat it as a break up so u can worry bout urself instead of be waitting for this time to finish. I dont wanna kill my hopes by i also dont wanna put my hopes up so I wish i can heal soon, regarless if she comes back or not!

Perfect strategy..

I was asked for time and immediately thought of it as a breakup. She gave me the lines "I just need some time", "We will see what happens", etc, etc, etc. I knew better. The next weekend she said she needed more time and didn't know how long it was going to be and didn't want me waiting around for her. Needless to say I took it much better because I had prepared for it all week long.

I'm glad your taking this approach, it's the smart thing to do and you will thank yourself for it later. I was very happy with myself for going that route, since I didn't have to cry and be upset all over again when she told it was probably more pemanant than a break. She was so worried that I would be crushed, and was surprised at how well I handled it. Upset, no doubt, but respectful and understanding (as much as I could be).

Your in the right place bud.

hjpan · Jul 25, 2008, 08:54 AM

Originally Posted by scorpio24x

After reading all this, Im starting to move on even tough its to difficult for me. Im using the nc rule because i wanna heal but i also have a little hope that she might come back and if she doesnt, its gonna be her lost because im becoming a whole different person in a very good way. On sunday its gonna be 2 weeks since she asked me for time, we havent seen each other but she sent me a message 4 days ago wishing that i was ok which i replied saying that i was good , i made it very short and polite. since that i have applied the nc rule and even tough its hard, im not planning to break it. She asked me for time but i realized that its better to treat it as a break up so u can worry bout urself instead of be waitting for this time to finish. I dont wanna kill my hopes by i also dont wanna put my hopes up so I wish i can heal soon, regarless if she comes back or not!

Same here... I want to find a way to work with my ex but I doubt that cause I'll be in South California while she'll be in North California. Not to mention, her guy-friends said they'll go clubbing and sh*t...

Thinking about it makes me sick and happy at the same time..
Sick that my ex CHOSE TO fuqing stay near me.
Happy that she might get fuqed over.

Anyways, I'm looking towards my future goal for right now...
I imagine myself driving in a ferrari, going to a good paying job and working with awesome people, enjoying life to the fullest etc.

Boristheblade · Jul 25, 2008, 09:33 AM

It's been nearly two months since I broke up with my boyfriend and he has done and said things to me I never would've thought possibloe and cause me SO MUCH HURT and I'm still JUST AS IN LOVE WITH HIM.It's really getting my down. Surely I'm weird for being in love with someone who has treated me disgracefully with no cause to? *SiGh*

hjpan · Jul 25, 2008, 09:37 AM

Originally Posted by Boristheblade

It's been nearly two months since I broke up with my boyfriend and he has done and said things to me I never would've thought possibloe and cause me SO MUCH HURT and I'm still JUST AS IN LOVE WITH HIM.It's really getting my down. Surely I'm weird for being in love with someone who has treated me disgracefully with no cause to?? *SiGh*

Ignore him.

Get a restraining order.

plonak · Jul 25, 2008, 09:39 AM

Originally Posted by Boristheblade

It's been nearly two months since I broke up with my boyfriend and he has done and said things to me I never would've thought possibloe and cause me SO MUCH HURT and I'm still JUST AS IN LOVE WITH HIM.It's really getting my down. Surely I'm weird for being in love with someone who has treated me disgracefully with no cause to?? *SiGh*

OMG hun!! You're life is my life!! Except I broke up with my boyfriend on Sat... I broke up with him because he did some hurtful things, where I should be angry.. but I just can't bring myself to hate him or be angry.. I still love him so much, like you said..

I hope it gets better for you.. I don't know about you but going on here is like therapy.. it really helps to talk to people that are in the same spot as us.. it's really a great thing that we have here..

plonak · Jul 25, 2008, 09:41 AM

Originally Posted by hjpan

Ignore him.

Get a restraining order.

Clearly not the case here

hjpan · Jul 25, 2008, 09:42 AM

Originally Posted by plonak

clearly not the case here and uncalled for... why are you so obnoxnious?? this site is here to help people.. not to pi$$ them off!

I'm giving advise, not pi$$ing people off

Restraining order so the ex can't do anything. No phone calls, texts, visits etc.

Boristheblade · Jul 25, 2008, 09:47 AM

Originally Posted by hjpan

I'm giving advise, not pi$$ing people off

Restraining order so the ex can't do anything. No phone calls, texts, visits etc.

Lol that is ironic- he told my friend he's getting a restraining order against ME. ME who does not speak to him or communicate with him or go near him. Anything to hurt my feelings.

Thanks Plonak yeah I feel the same I should HATE him for how he treated me, and in a way, still is. His ex ( now his best friend) has told me all the things he's been saying about I can't understand why he'd do that, especially as my last request to him when we broke up was NOT to talk about me to her and he PROMISED he wouldn't.I shouldn't be able to stand him and I love him just as much and miss him. :mad:

ISneezeFunny · Jul 25, 2008, 09:49 AM

Granted, I think a restraining order is a bit too far unless the ex starts making certain threats, stalking, etc.

Just keep your head up, and don't forget what your ex did to hurt your feelings. After a breakup, because we miss them so much, we tend to forget what they did and we tend to forgive them. Remind yourself that you two are broken up because you two don't belong together

plonak · Jul 25, 2008, 09:53 AM

Originally Posted by ISneezeFunny

Granted, I think a restraining order is a bit too far unless the ex starts making certain threats, stalking, etc.

Just keep your head up, and don't forget what your ex did to hurt your feelings. After a breakup, because we miss them so much, we tend to forget what they did and we tend to forgive them. Remind yourself that you two are broken up because you two don't belong together

Yea that's advice that I can take too.. I did too much of forgiving because I loved him.. it's about taking care of myself now.. and not about him.. I guess when we love someone we can be too forgiving.. I guess it just comes with the territory..

Boristheblade · Jul 25, 2008, 09:56 AM

Restraining order- he's so immature it boggles my mind.That's the strange thing though I DO remember all the things he did and it hurts me very much but at the same time I still love and miss someone that has been so cruel to me. I think about him morning to night literally not a minute goes past where I don't think of him. Is it possible that it will take me longer to get over him BECAUSE of all the things he did?

hjpan · Jul 25, 2008, 10:02 AM

Originally Posted by Boristheblade

Restraining order- he's so immature it boggles my mind.That's the strange thing though I DO remember all the things he did and it hurts me very much but at the same time I still love and miss someone that has been so cruel to me. I think about him morning to night literally not a minute goes past where I don't think of him. Is it possible that it will take me longer to get over him BECAUSE of all the things he did?

It will take time... I think it'll take a very long time for you to heal

Boristheblade · Jul 25, 2008, 10:13 AM

Originally Posted by hjpan

It will take time... I think it'll take a very long time for you to heal

*Sigh* that's what I was afraid of. He ruined my last summer and he's ruined this one too. I feel terrible :(

hjpan · Jul 25, 2008, 10:23 AM

Originally Posted by Boristheblade

*Sigh* that's what I was afraid of. He ruined my last summer and he's ruined this one too. I feel terrible :(

Don't let a rotten apple spoil the rest.

scorpio24x · Jul 25, 2008, 10:28 AM

People be strong, we are all together in this !

Andrew916 · Jul 25, 2008, 10:36 AM

I just got a date lined up for next Saturday.woot woot! I've known this girl for a while and we used to have a thing for each other before me and sam got together. I didn't have the balls to ask her out before (I HAD confidence issues). It should be fun. We get along great and have the same tastes in a lot of areas so I'm excited ;)

plonak · Jul 25, 2008, 10:38 AM

Good for you! Hope it goes well! Im not sure if I'm ready to date yet.. how do you know when you're ready?

Boristheblade · Jul 25, 2008, 10:42 AM

Originally Posted by plonak

Good for you! hope it goes well!! Im not sure if im ready to date yet.. how do you know when you're ready?

You're right we are in the same boat lol I don't think I'm ready to date again. I guess you're ready when you can concentrate on someone and not constantly compare them to your ex. I'm kind of getting there, but I'm still in love so it would be unfair to someone I thinlk.

Andrew916 · Jul 25, 2008, 10:47 AM

Originally Posted by plonak

Good for you! hope it goes well!! Im not sure if im ready to date yet.. how do you know when you're ready?

I just stopped thinking about Sam. One day I woke up and all the good memories that used to bring on extreme sadness, only made me happy to know that I was blessed with good times. I had moved on to open up a new chapter. I think some of us are afraid to let go- but that's what we all must do. Move on with our lives and live them to their fullest. You'll know when you're ready- it's a feeling- a realization.