[Wondergirl]

It's a bit hard to think positive at the moment it would be a bit more easier if I know how mum feels or if she talked to me. But I will block everything out and conscentate on being a good big sister I can do that.

Yyyyyyyaaaaaaayyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!

[Noone2014]

Mums not letting me go to school today I don't know why she just came into the kitchen and told me to go to my room while she drops my sister at school. I hope she will talk to me she looked really bad this morning. I said good morning to my sister and she gave me a big hug it was good I told her I would play with her after school today she was happy so I have that to look forward to,

[Noone2014]

He came here this morning I could hear him and mum yelling, I could hear everything I've never been so scared in my life I thought he was going to come up here but mum told him to leave. Mum came and spoke to me she asked me if I was lying she said she wouldn't be mad if I was why would she ask me that then she asked me if I would go to the police station. I told her I would I am worried about having to tell a stranger what happened I didn't even really tell mum all the details I don't even like thinking about it. She's having a rest now she has to work this afternoon. Sorry for keeping on posting on here I don't have anyone to talk to I kind of messed that up when I didn't speak to my friends not that I would tell them anyway, it's easier to write. I will get a diary write in that instead. I wish she had of let me go to school at least I wouldn't have to sit here alone thinking I can't even sleep I need something to do I wonder if she would notice if I went out for a bit I don't want to wake her

[Cat1864]

Don't go out without her. If she woke up and found you gone, she be even more worried.

She asked if you were lying because she needed to give you a chance to come clean if you were lying. That she is asking if you want to go to the police says that she does believe you.

Something you can do is come up with your own ideas of things to do with your sister. Catch up on school work if you know what they are doing and have your books available. Arts, crafts, writing, exercise, maybe look up Yoga and meditation.

It is okay to keep posting, but a diary is a more private way to get your thoughts out and you can share it with your mother if saying the words is too difficult.

[talaniman]

Might freak her out with worry if you're gone and she wakes. But relax, as she obviously believes you, and willing to do what she has too to protect you, including going to the police, and making them aware of what he did. Big trouble for him.

You caused none of this, he did, and its being addressed. I would say its working out better than you feared. It's time to heal, for you both, for your whole family. I admire your courage, it had to be very difficult. Now relax knowing you have done the right thing.

[Noone2014]

Mums at work she said when she gets home from work she is going to take me to the police station. The thought of having to tell someone everything that happened makes me want to throw up just thinking about it now makes me sick. Mum said it would be all right she would be there with me but I don't want her to be I don't want her to know everything that happened she would be devastated she already is I can't even imagine how she would be after hearing everything. She will be home in a couple of hours I'm going friggin crazy being in this stupid room all day long it's all I can think about but she said I had to stay at home my sister is at my aunts house so I can't even talk to her. All this thinking is just making everything freak me out even more.

[smoothy]

She's going to find out anyway... best to get it out now. He's certain to be facing charges... which means a court trial... unless he pleads guilty. It also means depositions and your mother would have to be there for them as you are a minor.

Just another of those moments as we grow up where we will have to do things we might not want to do... but must because they have to be done.

[talaniman]

Your mom is an adult and apparently a very tough one, so stop underestimating her strength, and trust in it. She obviously is going to handle her business the right way for her family. She will help you through this and I think you are in excellent hands.

[Noone2014]

I hate my ing life right now I wish I was dead. I feel horrible I never want to have to do anything like that again, but guess I'm going to have to do it again and again. I hate how it's all up to me to do this I didn't want to say anything but then I felt like I had all this pressure responsibility to tell I just want it to be over. That I want my life to be over I can't deal with this . I've never been so ashamed in my whole life all the questions constant questions. I can't handle it I stole my mums bottle of bourbon I've locked my door and I intend to get messed up the end!

[Homegirl 50]

Now that is a totally irresponsible thing to do. This is not the route to take and a bad habit to form.
It will be OK. Stay away from the alcohol.
Talk to your mom about how you're feeling.

[Noone2014]

I don't care if its irresponsible I couldn't care less for once I don't want to have to think. Things will be OK what a friggin joke this is just going to drag on and on I'm never going to be able to just forget it well it I will drink and forget

[smoothy]

You were doing well before that last bit... thats the wrong thing to do... its wrong for you, and its wrong for an adult.

Nobody WANTS to have to do anything like that... nobody WANTS to go through what you went through that made this necessary.

Drugs or alcohol doesn't make it go away... it only makes things worse. It doesn't make you forget.....it never does.

THe questions are needed for a number of reasons. To establish everything that happened... and to establish reliability and credibility of everything said.

Because you were being honest... this will prove it and is in your favor. Its needed because sometimes people intentionally or unintentionally because of emotions involved embelish, or leave bits and pieces out. Multiple questions over a period allow them to get all of the bits... and to average things out..and get at the cold hard facts. Again this is needed and works in your favor.

Remember nobody can change the past... but we all have a hand in changing the future. And what you did is save your little sister from having to go through what you went throgh. You also saved yourself from having to go through more of it in the future.

[Homegirl 50]

Drinking to forget is a very bad habit to start. What you did was very brave, hang in there, it will get better. You are also setting an example for your sister. Do you want her to think it's OK to steal mom's alcohol and drink? Have you talked to your mom about how you're feeling?

[Noone2014]

Do I always have to care of corse I don't want my sister to think its OK but right now I couldn't careless I really couldn't I'm so angry right now and I don't even really know why how funny is that that's how friggin stupid I am

Drinking to forget is a very bad habit to start. What you did was very brave, hang in there, it will get better. You are also setting an example for your sister. Do you want her to think it's OK to steal mom's alcohol and drink? Have you talked to your mom about how you're feeling?

My god my mum how could I speak to her I'm so ashamed she had to sit there and listen to that she cried and cried ing hell

[smoothy]

Did you think that she would be happy that one of her little girls would have had that happen to them? Of course not... do you think anyone.. including your mom wishes you said nothing? Of course not... if you think she is upset now... how do your think she would feel if she found out it happened to BOTH her girls... and that it happened for years because nobody said anything about it?

Obviously that would have been far worse.

What is there for your to be ashamed about.....YOU weren't the one who did this to him.......HE did it to you....you were his victim.

[Wondergirl]

I will drink and forget

But the whole situation will still be there when you sober up. And then you drink again? and again? Sorry but alcohol won't drown this.

I'm really amazed at how well your mom is handling this. Help her by cooperating.

Remember always -- this is for your sister -- and for other girls he may come in contact with. Like someone (I think smoothy) had said earlier, you may very well have not been the first girl he did this to.

And it's okay to be angry -- but at HIM, not yourself. He has robbed you and hurt you in all sorts of ways.

[talaniman]

Do I always have to care of corse I don't want my sister to think its OK but right now I couldn't careless I really couldn't I'm so angry right now and I don't even really know why how funny is that that's how friggin stupid I am


My god my mum how could I speak to her I'm so ashamed she had to sit there and listen to that she cried and cried ing hell

Oh cut that self pity moaning and groaning out why don't you. It only keeps you from relaxing and makes you feel sorry for yourself and think stupid thoughts. It keeps the misery going in your own head. Cut it out! Take a long hot shower, and focus on the water on your face, and relax.

[Noone2014]

I feel like I'm going to cry and I don't want to I just want to let it go for one friggin night I know it will still be there but not for now. How am I suppose to co operate I don't even know what she wants me to do I can't even look at her. I don't even like the taste of this stuff but at least I won't be able to think

[talaniman]

So, you have already started your buzz on to kill the pain and stop the brain? CUT IT OUT!! You are making things a lot worse.

[Noone2014]

So, you have already started your buzz on to kill the pain and stop the brain? CUT IT OUT!! You are making things a lot worse.

How could I possibly make anything worse really I don't think I could I think it will make me feel better