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talaniman · May 31, 2010, 09:51 AM

You have read and been advise about No Contact, if your still not convinced then by all means, discard the advice given, and follow your heart. Its really your choice what you do.

klap33 · May 31, 2010, 10:06 AM

No I want no contact! She is still telling friends that she wants this to work just needs her space..

That is not why I'm doing the no contact part of it is but mostly for myself. I need this time just as much! And you can't force some 1 to be with you. If she has to say something my phone is on...

Homegirl 50 · May 31, 2010, 10:48 AM

You phone is on, but that does not mean you have to answer it.
NC is NC. That means you don't even listen to her messages.

klap33 · May 31, 2010, 11:21 AM

If she wants it to work I do to. So for nc I ignore her as well?

Homegirl 50 · May 31, 2010, 12:33 PM

Yeah you ignore her. How do you get yourself together and move on if you are hearing from her all of the time? Is she telling you she is coming back?
Now if you are not ready to let go if you just want to hang on "just in case" then you do what you want.

It seems to me she would be quite content to have you there to talk to when she feels guilty or lonely and if you want to be that to her, it's on you.
She says she wants things to work eventually, what does that mean, what is she going to be doing in the meantime while you're sitting by the phone waiting for a call from her?
If she wants to talk to you, to give you something definitive, she will find a way to do it. But you need to stop allowing her to keep you dangling in her string.

Sledsik · May 31, 2010, 01:12 PM

I agree, you can only hold on for so long. Even though it has not been that long since the breakup you cannot go on forever if you do not see the result of getting back together. I held on for 2 months thinking that I was going to get back with my ex, believe me... don't put yourself in that position. Hurts far too bad.

klap33 · May 31, 2010, 01:17 PM

Ya this is hurting a little, but she was very clear that this is just space and finding herself. And she hasn't said nothing to others, and me included that her plans are anything but this working out.

I am just respected her space, and trying to move on just in case, but I still hope a little that this works out. She was very clear that she wants this to work, but until things fall into place with the move and starting over and clearity of mind she just wants some space, but does want this to work...

That's why I don't know how exactly to treat this except to give her, her space right now, I need to have this time alone as well..

talaniman · May 31, 2010, 01:41 PM

I am just respected her space, and trying to move on just in case, but I still hope a little that this works out.

There will be no moving on just in case, so make up your mind. Its been a month by my count, so exactly how long do you stay in limbo? How much space does she get? How long before YOU make a decision and end this punishment? How much changing have you accomplished so far?

We all get your misery, we all get her motives, and we all get the confusion.

klap33 · May 31, 2010, 01:51 PM

Its been 3 weeks at this point. I don't want to set a date on this, and I know that in all honesty she does need this space. I haven't been exactly miserable or perfect by anymeans but I'm OK..

I do want this to work and there will be a point where I break and explain to her, that you know I gave her the space she asked for and I hope she found inside what she was looking for and now if you can I would like if you could think rationally about us, and if not just let me know because I can't take this at this point anymore,

I may be wrong with this approach, but she is a great person, and a good girl. The relationship was great at some points, and I explained how it faultered, and space is very respectable, and I do believe what she is saying. Part of it is hope as well! in my heart I would love another oppurtunity, and think we could be the couple we were, and we both did a lot of changing because of this I believe it would only make us better..

I can't sit here and harp on that hope though. I fall into that in spurts, but over all I'm OK! I understand maybe the best bet is to move on completely and let go, but right now I am trusting in what she says, until I see or hear other wise, because to my knowledge nothing has happened to show that, except for her asking for much needed space!

I hope I am not blind is all.