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Confused Rebecca, Do you know that Just Looking was attacked by her ex and she is in the hospital? I hope you will take good care of your own safety. Make sure you are not alone this weekend and if you can stay with your parents or friends, I would recommend it. Take care. |
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 Originally Posted by asking
Be really careful. Your personal safety is the most important issue here. If you ever feel threatned, don't hesitate to seek help. |
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Originally Posted by asking
Good morning Asking, and all! It is Monday morning. Thank you for your concern. You guys are really nice to me, and I cannot thank enough. My best girlfriend picked me up at 5:30 pm Friday, and I stayed in her place for whole weekend. You guys were right. It was much easier to deal with the pain with someone. I have a tendency to close up when I have any issues, and try to resolve it by my own, but I realized that it was not always right approach. I am so weak, and really need help right now to deal with it... I am so fortunate I have such a wonderful & smart girlfriend! She, and her boyfriend, and my ex used to hang out together, she knows him well. She was so angry my ex cheated on me by flirting & dating girls online. I opened my chest, talked and cried with her all weekend. She told me my ex called her 3-4 times a day, and he seemed very depressed. She asked him what he did to me, and he only said that he did something very stupid, and he messed up big time. My girlfriend comforted me, and gave me advice how to deal with it, and even told me her previous breakup story I never heard before. I guess she is trying to make me ffel better in her best. Saturday morning, we went to spa as scheduled, but I could not enjoy it at all since my stomach was against the nice herb scent in the spa. We had to leave early, and visited a doctor's office. The doctor diagnosed it as not stomach flue even though the symptom is exactly same, and gave me some prescription. We picked up prescription medicine at a drug store, and stayed in her place all day Sunday. She forced me to take medicine, eat soup. She constantly distracted me not to dwell in my sorrow, and talked to me any silly joke to force me to laugh. I had to smile with tears sometimes. What a nice girl. She is agreeing I need to break off because he went too far behind of back, it destroyed our trust and relationship, even though he is claiming he did not sleep with any of them. The nicest thing was she let me sleep in her bed Friday, not in the guest room. I really needed warm physical contact from nice person, and her kind gesture made me fall in sleep well. Oh, gee... tears again... I asked her if I can stay with her for another week in her place, and she said yes. I am so happy to stay here even! I have to go back to work tomorrow, but I am still at her place while she left to work. I am going back to my apartment by taxi, and pick up some stuff, and come back in the afternoon. I have had no contact with anyone since my cell phone battery died since Friday. There is any news I am looking for at this point, and I feel better in this way. Thanks again! |
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LEAVE ME ALONE SIGN did not work.
I just came back to pick up my stuff. Here is what I posted on my door when I left Friday. Notice: This entrance is for a loyal & faithful person only. Please do not knock or ring for life time, if you are not qualified. Well, I just saw my door. My ex decorated it like a 9/11 memorial board. On small yellow sticky paper, he wrote "I will not talk to other girls again. I am sorry - from your fiancé-" in handwriting, and put them in heart shape around the warning sign on my door. The sticky papers were about 70-80. He taped flowers & ribbons all around the warning sign as well. He must did it like a kindergarten project. He was never been my fiancé, ex boyfriend now, but I must admit it is very hilarious. I burst laugh. I went downstairs to see our doorman, Dexter (not real name). He asked if I enjoyed the special arrangement on my door. Dexter is a big fan of my ex, because my ex is involved in a community project to help unfortunate young people, and Dexter came from the community. He has high respect on my ex. My ex was friendly with Dexter, treated him very well always. Oh, well... I told Dexter, he is my ex now, and he is not approved to visit me anymore. Dexter was holding 3 flowers for me. I told him to dump them again. Dexter looked at my face with disbelief, but did not say anything. My ex seems premature. He used to be always funny, and that 's why I attracted to him in the beginning. I do not think he will be harmful. |
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Now, that Dexter knows, hopefully, he will not allow your ex in any more. Even if he doesn't understand. Instead, of dumping the flowers, maybe you could have Dexter hand them out to people who look like they need a lift. It might help Dexter to understand that you don't want to have anything to do with your ex and that you are giving him up to the world. Also, make certain that Dexter knows that anymore "displays" will not be taken kindly. That you consider it and the flowers harassment.
Be careful. The ex may not be as harmless as he seems. Sometimes, the ones that make us laugh are the most dangerous because we don't expect them to act out. |
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Originally Posted by Cat1864
I should hand the flowers for someone who really appreciate them!! I just phoned Dexter, and told him to use the flowers wisely for anyone needed. Dexter tld me he did not dump them yet. I am pretty sure there are so many unfortunate people use them well to lift their spirit. Yes, I will be careful not to encounter the frustrated man. Thank you so much. I learn so many things from this board everyday... |
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Service Recall from family I checked out my voice mail. My parents called me for service recall. It is family joke. They call themselves as factory, and offer lifetime warranty to kids whether we want it or not... They do whenever kids seem have troubles, and like to catch the moment & fix the issues as parents. I will hold it off right now. It can be wait for a week at least, and I need to buy sometime to regain myself... |
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Your ex is pretending he doesn't get the message that the relationship is over. This is worrisome. He's also involving Dexter in attempts to ignore your boundaries. Also not good. Keep your guard up and stay in regular touch with friends and family who know where you are at all times. I don't see anything wrong with telling Dexter that your ex cheated on you, it's definitely over, and that he is definitely not allowed into the building anymore. You don't have to go into detail, but Dexter may need to understand that this is not just a lovers' spat. I know we are all a little anxious now, since Just Looking, but please be careful. I like Cat's advice. |
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I think it is good that you want to fix your own problems. Just don't totally shut the family out.
Maybe have some sort of compromise so that they know you are trying to be a mature woman and handle your own problems, but that you appreciate their being there to support you even if it isn't direct involvement right now. |
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Originally Posted by asking
I am fortunate to have my parents who have been happily married for 32 years. I have 2 brothers who are very smart and decent, and we are very close. My younger brother is my favorite, still in law school, very funny & handsome man! My old brother is sweet as well, but he acts like my father(?), and I am not trying to spend too much time with him when I have an issue. I am the only girl, so naturally I am the daddy's girl. I want to end up with happy marriage like my parents someday. I will do the samething to my kids in future. |
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