[JohnnyP409]

Talinman, I have done real no contact. I have not said one word to her since the end of July. I am not taking her calls, and have not responded once. The only response I have is what I post here.

I work all day long now that my summer break is over, and it definitely helps me to move on. I WAS obsessed, definitely not anymore.

[tunde4ever]

Mate I'm going through the same thing be strong and chill with your buddys, they'll take your mind of her, or get a Samsung and block her number.

[JohnnyP409]

So she is still continuing to call me twice each night around bed time. It was every night this week besides one. The good news is, and you are probably all thankful you won't have to read about this anymore, I'm over it almost completely. It has almost been 30 days no contact and I do not want her back. I think a major part of why this is is due to my job picking back up and it is really busy times, as well as exciting, and my friends have been around a lot. So yeah, Ash, Glinda, and everyone else you were all so right, and I thank you greatly to bringing me to happiness. I feel like a stronger person now, and in fact realize I am happy being single. :)

[kt1205]

If you think things can work out and you can stay together then don't ignore her calls but if you don't think things can be worked out then its best if you ignore them. And it may take a lot of time but after a while you may realize she wasn't that great anyway and you can do better and find someone who loves you and not their ex

[JohnnyP409]

So we had this pic of us just barely kissing up on Facebook. She said she liked it and would never take it down. It's down, and I'm mad. Because that's another lie. It took her a while to take it down. But it is finally down. I guess I can't be too mad because I took mine down a month ago. But it still ticks me off. Does it show that she had feelings for me this past month and by ignoring her I messed up and now she's lost those feelings?

She really has said to me tons of times "I won't take it down because I like it too much." She even has one framed on her dresser that she said she would keep.

Uuuuuugggggghhhhhhhh, I was doing so good too until my friend told me this!!

[Balloons33]

22 isn't too young to commit in my eyes. If you talk to her you should tell her to stop playing games because it's immature.. nobody needs that.

[GlindaofOz]

Dude. You are moving on so is she. Why are you shocked? Do you want her to be in her room, sitting in the dark, inside her closet, clutching that picture to her chest sobbing uncontrollable and shaking her fists at the heavens screaming WHY GOD WHY?

Or do you want her to move on and be happy just like what you are doing?

[NikkiT456]

Coming from a woman. Id probably ignore her still too. Your own personal happiness comes first. And if you want to try out your options and see what else is out there than do it. Whether the things she said were true or not its never nice to say those things to the person you care about, under any circumstances. And if she continues to call I'd consider getting my number changed, just until you're ready to talk things over without anymore mean things beign said.

[JohnnyP409]

So we started talking again, I've kept it sporatic and have not had a long conversation with her. I'm over it for the most part. But she said to come visit. I am driving through tomorrow and I am "staying on her couch". Will I really? I find it weird she wanted me to stay the night when we have barely talked since the 40 days of space... I am going to act cool not jealous and be friednly and nice, but should I make a move if the opportunity presents itself?

[Ash123]

You will likely be offered sex... because you have been unavailable.

Afterwards you may wonder if things have changed... they have not.

If you can accept that, glove up and rock on.

If you want to keep your pride and have her keep wondering what she did that was so bad... Skip the visit all together.
You are repeating old habits and the result will be the same. As long as you know that, enjoy "the couch" he he.

[mikehst]

She is crazy if you asked me and a "manizer" as I like to say for any woman who will take as much as she can from a man and them leave him with nothing. Happened to me and I will never talk to her again. If she really is that obsessed with you, let her keep calling and if and when you find another woman,she'll find out and eventually give up(hopefully). But if you want her in the future and you ignore her now, it will make that relationship unhealthy to say the least. Ehhh but it all comes down to what you think is right. I'd say to h*ll with her and move on. She used you... as much as I loved mine, I have to learn that she is just there to break my heart over and over.

[JohnnyP409]

I understand that we cannot be together. Not now, and probably not ever. I loved the sex, and hope to god we can do it again, haha.

In the far away future I could see myself with this girl, but at this time I've come to a realization during the NC that I don't want to be with her as much as she does not want to be with me...


I don't think I'm repeating old habits because I am acting completely different towards her. I bettered myself and see her for who she has become and treat her differently. I won't play the fool in her game anymore, if anything she will play the fool in my game.

[JohnnyP409]

So after the visit... She asked me to go on a date with her, I took her to dinner where she told me she was single. Invited me into her bed... I let nothing happen though. I thought we were good. But then I had a few too many drinks the next night and so did she. We fought on the phone and she told me she is basically still dating this jackass from before and she has no feelings for me..!

I told her she isn't worth it and to kick rocks. Is that normal behavior for a woman to do in this situation?? It's almost bipolar to me. I'm back to NC, I should be right? This time I'm not going to feel sorry for ignoring her and will not break it until I'm healed and have a new girlfriend that makes feels right in every way.

[talaniman]

Why would you not see the alcohol, and you two don't mix?? To look for reasons for a change in behavior, that the first place to look. For you both.

[Ash123]

you will likely be offered sex.....because you have been unavailable.

afterwards you may wonder if things have changed....they have not.

if you can accept that, glove up and rock on.

if you want to keep your pride and have her keep wondering what she did that was so bad....Skip the visit all together.
you are repeating old habits and the result will be the same. as long as you know that, enjoy "the couch" he he.

Ok, I don't normally quote...MYSELF....but, if there was any remainng doubt that your situation can be seen here very clearly - consider that this was written a week prior to seeing her. And trust the process

Anyway, dude. Take a deep breath and look in the mirror and say one thing: IT'S OVER.

Then, suffer sexual withdrawl symptoms for a several weeks and pangs of regret and anger and sadness = and then one day you will wake up and think - "what was i thinking?"

UPGRADE man... get your life together - do not be a number... a statistic. Get a girl who is going places - besides a mental institution. Or you will look back in 10 years and wonder why you are working on an hourly wage with all your dreams lost. Sounds dramatic? It happens every day when people don't push themselves to go higher.

Peace. And good luck...

[JohnnyP409]

So a week after I told her to kick rocks she called me. The best part is, I know she is at homecoming this weekend. She calls at 9:30 on a Saturday night. her guy is in Boston. She hasn't called and all of a sudden. The best part is, I didn't even recognize the number at first because I had deleted her name from the phonebook. I don't even hate her anymore, I just think she's insane. AND an idiot for still calling after our falling out and me telling her to get lost last weekend... is her problem to still be calling?

[talaniman]

Yes its her problem, not yours.

[JohnnyP409]

All right so some of you may remember me. I broke up with a very serious relationship in July and it was a very uncertain breakup. The girl moved on quickly and is still "seeing" this guy, she refuses they are bf/gf but more friends with benefits... whatever, not the point. I cut contact for 6 weeks and then started talking to her in little bits. It has gotten to the point again that she calls every day like when we were dating, but I force the convo's to be shorter and refuse to pick up sometimes, so we talk on my terms.

I have dated a few other girls and tried moving on, but I can't find anyone that compares. I am not going to give up though. So today she says to me all of my friends are still home for Christmas, you should come visit me "John Doe" is not here. So I say "maybe, ehhh, I don't think so I'll see you in a few weeks." I will be out there on business a few times within a month and we will be getting together. Then later in the day she says to me, come out to visit with a friend, or come Sunday to meet "John Doe". I told her I wouldn't want to meet him unless they were in love and getting married and brought up a conversation we had when we were dating about meeting future bf's/gf's and she realized that she would not want to meet a new girlfriend of mine.

Anyway, I feel like I am falling back into old habits from a few months ago when I really was doing so well. She is just such an amazing girl and I would want to date her again if the opportunity presented itself in the distant future (5 years from now, but now we are 4 hours apart). I take her calling me every day as her wanting to be with me, at least a little bit. I also take her non-committed relationship as a way to have a sexual relationship but not have a commitment because she is not ready for one after us.

Am I going insane? Does any of this make sense? Do you think she is showing signs of wanting me still? Any tips on what to do with her to preserve her feelings for me if I want to have a possible relationship in the future?

I'm insane, haha.

[George_1950]

If you have a bad stomach and are confused, then she is just the wrong girl. It is like, she has your number and she is doing a dance on you. My own preference would be No Contact, period. You get some semblance of self-respect and dignity, and begin the process of getting over someone who is hurting you.

[talaniman]

You screwed up, when you broke NO CONTACT, and started to talk to her again. Get back on the path and start over, that simple. NO she ain't comin' back, forget it.