[s_cianci]

Back off and give her some space. It sounds like she needs that. No calls for a while. And don't offer to drive her to school everyday. Let her have the opportunity to miss you for a while and you go on and do your own thing.

[GlindaofOz]

How old are the both of you? How long have you been dating?

[VADawg]

Back off and give her some space. It sounds like she needs that. No calls for a while. And don't offer to drive her to school everyday. Let her have the opportunity to miss you for a while and you go on and do your own thing.

Just abruptly back off and don't call or should I tell her that I'm going to give her space? She wants me to drive her to school everyday too... she brought it up actually.

How old are the both of you? How long have you been dating?

I'm 19 and she's 17. She actually broke up with me a few months ago (we were dating for about 4 months) and asked me to get back together about two weeks ago. So, it's kind of odd that she's acting distant now after all this.

[mckenzie134]

Wake up dude I remember you from a while ago... I see she still has you on the leash...

What are you calling her for LET HER CALL YOU!!

LET HER MISS YOU 17 years old EASY...

Don't call her again if you are missing her suck it up!! This won't work if she is not missing you she is just using you for when she's not busy she yanks the lead and you come running...

You want to NOT call and get her to call you and you know what when she calls say I'm a bit busy will callyou later and don't call she wants to play games play them BATTER or get out of the relationship because she is feeding you fish food and your loving it grabbing at every bit.. Take cointrol here because she will be dumping you shortly I can tell this I guarantee this!!

[GlindaofOz]

Looks like there is a back story... thanks for alerting us mckenzie.

If what mc is saying is right then she might be tired of being able to lead you around. Maybe you should pull back. And no you shouldn't tell her just do it. It will shock the heck of out of her. I don't condone game playing so I would recommend taking that time back to figure out if you really want to be in a relationship with someone who leads you around by the nose (as mackenzie has implied).

[VADawg]

Well she told me to call her back tonight but I guess I just won't call. I'll let her call me if she really wants to. I'll just tell her that I was busy doing stuff and I didn't have time to call or something like that.

Seriously... this relationship isn't even fun for me. It's almost like a chore. If she doesn't want to talk to me, then I won't call her anymore.

[GlindaofOz]

If the relationship isn't fun then why are you staying?? That statement sounds crazy VADawg. Don't you agree?

[VADawg]

If the relationship isn't fun then why are you staying???? That statement sounds crazy VADawg. don't you agree?

Because I keep expecting the girl that I loved to come back one day and things will be great again. She's my first love. When she asked me back, I almost went into it unprepared because I couldn't believe she was asking me. I guess I'm just holding onto false hope that she'll be like she used to be.

Yes, I do sound crazy saying that. I don't know what I want anymore.

[GlindaofOz]

Well you basically just said that you are in love with who she used to be or who you thought she was. Considering that you guys have only dated for 4 months and she has changed significantly it doesn't seem like a good sign.

In my opinion relationships are supposed to be fun, make you feel good, make you be the best version of yourself and most importantly make you feel happy and secure inside of the relationship. If you don't feel these things then frankly you are just bashing your head against a wall.

[VADawg]

She just gets really moody at times. She was acting this way the first time she broke up with me and I just feel like it's going to end badly again. I have never loved anyone like I do her and I just wish it could work out... but I don't know how long I can take it. It just doesn't make sense that she would ask to get back together and then act this way. You know?

[GlindaofOz]

I know how you feel. But t does take two people doing work in order for a relationship to work. I said to another poster once that a relationship is like a rowboat when only one person paddles you move in circles and get nowhere when both people row you have smooth sailing. Right now she is not paddling and seems to be refusing to do so.

[VADawg]

Definitely... and it's painfully obvious that something's not right with her.

So let me ask you this... do you think I should just not call her and let her call me? Or should I call her and tell her I'm concerned with how she's acting? I really don't want to talk to her right now but I feel like not contacting her would be childish. But hey, she's acting childish anyway. I guess I'd basically turn the tables on her if I did that.

[GlindaofOz]

I think you need space to think. It seems pretty obvious that you are confused. A few days away from the situation will give you some clarity and help you sort out what you want.

Not for nothing a lot of this behavior has to do with the fact that's she's 17. I was nightmare to boyfriends at 17 (its a shameful part of most women's past ;) ) Teenage girls have no idea what they want, they don't know who they are they are ADD on themselves. She could have thought that she wanted to be back with you then got what she wanted and went oh wait maybe I just wanted it because I couldn't have it. Most 17 year olds want what they can't have and they will fight tooth and nail to get it then when they do they become disinterested.

[VADawg]

I know that age has a lot to do with it. She does have a lot of maturing to do and it's obvious in the way she acts sometimes. Plus you add that she did drugs, alcohol, got pregnant (had a miscarriage), and was beaten by her other ex boyfriend before I met her, and you have a girl that has problems and she also doesn't know what she wants. Granted, she's tried her best to put all that behind her, but it still comes up all the time.

She wanted me to call her tonight... but I agree that it really would be best to just cool off and let it be. I need time to clear my head. If she calls me, I'll just tell her that I was busy and had stuff to do. The same thing she's been telling me.

[GlindaofOz]

Wow that is a messy past for such a young girl. Has she sought help from a mental health professional for the abusive relationship? A girl that young who gets into something like that can come out scarred for life in regards to relationships.

My opinion is that she needs to get herself help and straighten out herself before she can even be in a relationship.

VA you can't give her happiness she has to already be a healthy and happy person BEFORE coming into a relationship in order for the relationship to be healthy and happy.

[VADawg]

She's never gotten professional help as far as I know. After her ex-boyfriend beat her, she moved in with her aunt and she's been living there ever since. As soon as she moved up here, she started trying harder in school and decided that she'd become a secondary virgin. She tried to put everything behind her and start a new life. But every once and awhile, she'll get into a fight with her aunt and things will start getting bad. She'll start ranting about how she wishes she could move back and stop caring again. She gets angry VERY easily and it's obviously a result of her past.

I've told her that she should get help but she always blows it off. I mean, she can be a very sweet girl and obviously has tried her best to put that stuff behind her, but it's almost impossible to do it alone. I've tried my best to talk with her about it but that's not enough.

[GlindaofOz]

She has to see it herself that her behavior is causing problems in her life. I guess we can all only hope that at one point she will get some help to address her issues. You can't help her out of that hole, please remember that. She is the only one who can help her.

[Homegirl 50]

Sounds like the relationship may have run it's course. Tell her you think you two need to call it quits.. If she is the right one for you, things will work themselves out. But give yourself a break. Leave her.

[talaniman]

Stop calling.

[VADawg]

2 weeks in with my ex and she wants to break up again. I haven't talked to her, but her myspace lists her as single. I guess I'm going to have to call her and see what's up... but I really don't want to.