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    Oliver2011's Avatar
    Oliver2011 Posts: 2,606, Reputation: 746
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    #81

    Sep 21, 2015, 08:43 AM
    I couldn't agree more. Misery and attention, attention and misery. And a lot of Oh woe is me. He develops dependency on a person and that is never attractive I don't care how much he tries. I couldn't stand to live as he does.

    Life is too much fun when you allow it to be, so misery ain't for me.

    Quote Originally Posted by smoothy View Post
    You really do appear to like being miserable because you keep going back for more abuse. Maybe if he kicks your butt for sticking your nose back in where you shouldn't you will get the message? Leave her alone.. stay far far away... or HE is going to put a whupping on you. People get killed for messing around with someone else's girl (no matter how screwed up they might be) He's putting up with her crap now... why do you keep going back asking for more?
    harry7171's Avatar
    harry7171 Posts: 40, Reputation: 1
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    #82

    Sep 21, 2015, 08:46 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by smoothy View Post
    You really do appear to like being miserable because you keep going back for more abuse. Maybe if he kicks your butt for sticking your nose back in where you shouldn't you will get the message? Leave her alone.. stay far far away... or HE is going to put a whupping on you. People get killed for messing around with someone else's girl (no matter how screwed up they might be) He's putting up with her crap now... why do you keep going back asking for more?

    But I have no intentions to fight or hurt anyone. I just want to move on, bt don't want anyone else to have grudges on me. I just wann be happy. But you are right. No contact is the best idea.
    harry7171's Avatar
    harry7171 Posts: 40, Reputation: 1
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    #83

    Sep 21, 2015, 10:33 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by smoothy View Post
    You really do appear to like being miserable because you keep going back for more abuse. Maybe if he kicks your butt for sticking your nose back in where you shouldn't you will get the message? Leave her alone.. stay far far away... or HE is going to put a whupping on you. People get killed for messing around with someone else's girl (no matter how screwed up they might be) He's putting up with her crap now... why do you keep going back asking for more?

    Well now I am really feeling bad for what I said to that girl, I really got out of control and said really bad things to her. A person should never treat a woman like that no matter how much bad she is. What would I do now she will never forgive me for my behaviour last night. I don't want her anymore but now I want her forgiveness. How can I get salvation for my sins. I cant live with I treated some one so bad wheather they deserve it or not.
    Oliver2011's Avatar
    Oliver2011 Posts: 2,606, Reputation: 746
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    #84

    Sep 21, 2015, 10:51 AM
    Dude do this girl a favor and leave her alone. It's probably a good thing she moved on from you. And from everything you have said if I had a daughter I wouldn't allow you close to her.
    harry7171's Avatar
    harry7171 Posts: 40, Reputation: 1
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    #85

    Sep 21, 2015, 10:57 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by Oliver2011 View Post
    Dude do this girl a favor and leave her alone. It's probably a good thing she moved on from you. And from everything you have said if I had a daughter I wouldn't allow you close to her.

    I know I really treated her bad and you are absolutely right about me. I hate myself. But if she will not forgive me. I will not forgive myself. I am really crying for treating her bad just one time. But she treated me bad so many times. I dont care about, whatever happened last night should have never happened.
    Oliver2011's Avatar
    Oliver2011 Posts: 2,606, Reputation: 746
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    #86

    Sep 21, 2015, 11:06 AM
    Drama much?

    People break up. Relationships end. Move on.

    You really need to learn how to have a relationship and be a good partner before you jump into having another one. It's not worth this much stress and negativity. So stop the pity party for you and find something good to do for someone. Go volunteer as Tal suggested.
    harry7171's Avatar
    harry7171 Posts: 40, Reputation: 1
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    #87

    Sep 21, 2015, 11:17 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by Oliver2011 View Post
    Drama much?

    People break up. Relationships end. Move on.

    You really need to learn how to have a relationship and be a good partner before you jump into having another one. It's not worth this much stress and negativity. So stop the pity party for you and find something good to do for someone. Go volunteer as Tal suggested.

    But I feel like I should send her flowers or something with the sorry note and move on and leave her alone foreever.
    harry7171's Avatar
    harry7171 Posts: 40, Reputation: 1
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    #88

    Sep 21, 2015, 12:44 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Susan6666 View Post
    Good idea.
    The idea is good but she lives with his boyfriend and he cant find out about she is talking to me and I don't want to create any problems for her.
    Oliver2011's Avatar
    Oliver2011 Posts: 2,606, Reputation: 746
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    #89

    Sep 21, 2015, 01:05 PM
    No actually the idea sucks.

    Walk away. You are NOT good for her or yourself for that matter. Man up, grow a pair, and move on. Holy crappies talk about beating a dead horse, the poor horse is an inch thick now.

    Sorry for the tough love, but for someone in your 20s you act less mature than my 12 year olds.
    tickle's Avatar
    tickle Posts: 23,796, Reputation: 2674
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    #90

    Sep 21, 2015, 01:31 PM
    I can't understand why this post has gone on SO LONG... I think the OP likes the company it has created. Does that tell us something?
    harry7171's Avatar
    harry7171 Posts: 40, Reputation: 1
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    #91

    Sep 21, 2015, 01:43 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Oliver2011 View Post
    No actually the idea sucks.

    Walk away. You are NOT good for her or yourself for that matter. Man up, grow a pair, and move on. Holy crappies talk about beating a dead horse, the poor horse is an inch thick now.

    Sorry for the tough love, but for someone in your 20s you act less mature than my 12 year olds.

    I know I am a total looser. But in my defense I will say when I was younger I was way more cooler and Mature I never used to care about girls, Just about what I am doing. I Never took love or relationsips serioulsy and this was short bt my first serious relationship. This is all because I am desperate at the moment. So doing childish mistakes and as I explained in my previous posts I have no frineds and No life at the moment makes me really vulnerable.
    smoothy's Avatar
    smoothy Posts: 25,490, Reputation: 2853
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    #92

    Sep 21, 2015, 01:50 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by harry7171 View Post
    But I feel like I should send her flowers or something with the sorry note and move on and leave her alone foreever.
    Why... Pehaps you should just buy a bunch of shirts with Kick me printed in large letters front and back. Seriously... WHY would this merit flowers and WHY would you even think it does?
    harry7171's Avatar
    harry7171 Posts: 40, Reputation: 1
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    #93

    Sep 21, 2015, 02:06 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by smoothy View Post
    Why... Pehaps you should just buy a bunch of shirts with Kick me printed in large letters front and back. Seriously... WHY would this merit flowers and WHY would you even think it does?
    Because I said her so many bad things yesterday, Which I never should have said. I am feeling bad for this and its really bothering me and I cant relax.

    Its completely over now. But I never wanted to hurt anyone at the first place.
    smoothy's Avatar
    smoothy Posts: 25,490, Reputation: 2853
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    #94

    Sep 21, 2015, 02:14 PM
    Dude seriously... grow a set of balls.

    There are occasions that call for flowers. This isn't one of them. In fact it would come across as seriously creepy. Maybe you need for her boyfriend to come over and kick your butt before you get the message. If someone did that to my wife... They would be feeding him through a tube... if they found his body at all.

    Everything about this is seriously inappropriate.
    harry7171's Avatar
    harry7171 Posts: 40, Reputation: 1
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    #95

    Sep 21, 2015, 02:26 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by smoothy View Post
    Dude seriously... grow a set of balls.

    There are occasions that call for flowers. This isn't one of them. In fact it would come across as seriously creepy. Maybe you need for her boyfriend to come over and kick your butt before you get the message. If someone did that to my wife... They would be feeding him through a tube... if they found his body at all.

    Everything about this is seriously inappropriate.
    Than what should I do I feel really bad.
    smoothy's Avatar
    smoothy Posts: 25,490, Reputation: 2853
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    #96

    Sep 21, 2015, 03:19 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by harry7171 View Post
    Than what should I do I feel really bad.

    THAT is why I said grow a set of balls.

    The fact that you even feel like that in the first place indicates you have some serious personal issues you need to work out. Because there is NO reason you should be feeling like that. She has a boyfriend.. WHAT reason would she have to be with your? None. Did she participate in the Argument? Most likely. If she dished anything out... then its not one sided...

    Keep at it and she WILL end up going to the police... she may say you are a stalker... she may say she feels her well being is at risk from you... her boyfriend... may decide HE'S heard enough.. and beat the living daylights out of you...

    Lots of bad things for you can happen to you, and they would all be your fault..

    Seriously... I see absolutely NOTHING redeeming about her or any relationship you may have had with her... that might be mostly in your head and she never felt the same... she might be trying to be nice because she fears for herself or she is just trying to be gracious ( some women are like that and it is many times misunderstood as caring by some poor lovesick sap looking for anything they can say she is reciprocating to justify it in their own minds)

    Seriously...trying to help you out here but at this point you really are looking like a stalker....that won't take no for an answer.
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,317, Reputation: 5972
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    #97

    Sep 21, 2015, 03:55 PM
    Oh for goodness sake. Make up your mind. Either you're going to take the advice given to you, or continue to do what you want and suffer for it!

    You keep saying we're right, that you'll do what we advise, and then the next day you're back to doing all the wrong things.

    I'm done. You don't listen, and I'm done giving the same advice over and over that you won't follow. Do what you want. Sometimes you have to learn things the hard way.
    tickle's Avatar
    tickle Posts: 23,796, Reputation: 2674
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    #98

    Sep 21, 2015, 04:18 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Alty View Post
    Oh for goodness sake. Make up your mind. Either you're going to take the advice given to you, or continue to do what you want and suffer for it!

    You keep saying we're right, that you'll do what we advise, and then the next day you're back to doing all the wrong things.

    I'm done. You don't listen, and I'm done giving the same advice over and over that you won't follow. Do what you want. Sometimes you have to learn things the hard way.
    Amen !
    Oliver2011's Avatar
    Oliver2011 Posts: 2,606, Reputation: 746
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    #99

    Sep 22, 2015, 04:37 AM
    Obsession is not carrying about girls.

    Dependency is not caring about girls.

    Inappropriate actions such as stalking is not caring about girls.

    Quote Originally Posted by harry7171 View Post
    when I was younger I was way more cooler and Mature I never used to care about girls,
    harry7171's Avatar
    harry7171 Posts: 40, Reputation: 1
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    #100

    Sep 22, 2015, 07:11 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by smoothy View Post
    THAT is why I said grow a set of balls.

    The fact that you even feel like that in the first place indicates you have some serious personal issues you need to work out. Because there is NO reason you should be feeling like that. She has a boyfriend.. WHAT reason would she have to be with your? None. Did she participate in the Argument? Most likely. If she dished anything out... then its not one sided...

    Keep at it and she WILL end up going to the police... she may say you are a stalker... she may say she feels her well being is at risk from you... her boyfriend... may decide HE'S heard enough.. and beat the living daylights out of you...

    Lots of bad things for you can happen to you, and they would all be your fault..

    Seriously... I see absolutely NOTHING redeeming about her or any relationship you may have had with her... that might be mostly in your head and she never felt the same... she might be trying to be nice because she fears for herself or she is just trying to be gracious ( some women are like that and it is many times misunderstood as caring by some poor lovesick sap looking for anything they can say she is reciprocating to justify it in their own minds)

    Seriously...trying to help you out here but at this point you really are looking like a stalker....that won't take no for an answer.

    Is the relationship only in my head?


    When we first met we did not really talk about it what wer are doing, but I asked her few times is she seeing someone else but she said I am the only guy she is seeing, I recall couple of instances where she said we are dating, in four months we had sexxxx couple of times and kissed and hugged more in the first three months, But after 4 months when I finally asked her to be my girlfriend she replied to me we were only friends and she was never dating me and she never said that. I asked her to be sure what we are doing and I knew she is avoiding me by the fourth month and seeing some other guy. That she did not want me tell about.


    We had plans to hangout on the weekend as usual and she said she had no one other to hangout with. But on the weekend I called her she said she is busy all day with something but I knew she has nothing to do and next thing I found out she spent a night at some other guys place. Which pissed me off I said her few things not because she refused to be my girlfriend but she was hiding and lying to me all this time. She told me she is not ready for any relationship . But she told me nothing happend even if she spent a night at some other guy house whom she just met. She is going back to school in few months so she don't have time for anything serious but just after a month of that incident she had new boyfriend and moved in with him. She never went to shcool again to complete her last semester. And by that time I invested myself so much financially and emotionally in her.




    On the current situation, I was the one who said her so many bad things , she only replied me in the end, Anyways, I texted her sorry, I felt bad for whatever happened. She instantly replied me like she was waiting for my message. She is showing like she is upset but she wants talk again. But I am done with this thing now. There so many things have learned from it.

    @Alty I know I always says u people are right. My mind tells me to do the right thing but heart looses control and do opposite. But I have learned my lessons and I dont wanna repeat my mistakes again and again.

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