[Wondergirl]

so my question is, was i being cheated on while our relationship was coming to an end or is she just rebounding / trying to make me jealous.

Does it really matter? You're not together anymore. She's with another guy. You're history as far as she's concerned. Do NC and move on. Avoid all this drama, and get emotionally healthy.

[parisrose]

This is why NC is good! Once you break it, you start wondering, worrying, all those bad feelings. Just continue NC, don't worry of what she's been doing. Just think of this as a lesson learned when breaking NC.

[talaniman]

Aw here we go, back to the wondering what she is doing, what she means, why this, why that, and all over breaking NC, because you got drunk.

None of that matters because how can we know why she is doing her thing and you trying to get back in it.

Learn the lessons of NC, and get back to it. Leave the phone at home when you are drinking, whatever it takes because that was a perfect waste of a good drunk.

[Homegirl 50]

She is getting on with her life as you should be getting on with yours.
Stop texting her.

[prowaker]

The thing is I haven't been like texting her excessively or anything the only one I did send was goodluck on her exams last week that was it. Then a few nights ago when I was drunk I don't even know why I did I've been going out every weekend since we broke up getting drunk and meeting girls I don't know why I did this particular night.

I don't know why I care that's she's with this guy. I just do deep down and it bugs me. But yah back to NC. I've been having a lot of fun being single and going out, no worries in the world.

I think I'm just jealous that she is "seeing" someone already and I've been going out trying to meet girls and its taking longer than her.

[Wondergirl]

the thing is i havent been like texting her excessively or anything the only one i did send was goodluck on her exams last week that was it. then a few nights ago when i was drunk i dont even know why i did ive been going out every weekend since we broke up getting drunk and meeting girls i dont know why i did this particular night.

i dont know why i care thats shes with this guy. i just do deep down and it bugs me. but yah back to NC. ive been having a lot of fun being single and going out, no worries in the world.

i think im just jealous that she is "seeing" someone already and ive been going out trying to meet girls and its taking longer than her.

Don't you get it? NO contact, NO texting, NO thinking about her. NO jealousy. She does NOT care about you.

And you wonder why it's taking you longer than it is for her??

[Homegirl 50]

You might want to lay off the booze if it make you do things you'll regret the next day. It does not help you forget, it just makes you do stupid stuff.

[prowaker]

Wondergirl,
I did go no contact except for the text I sent her on her exams, it was friendly. All I said was good luck hope you do well. How do you not think of someone when its almost been 4 years together. How do you not be jealous.. if you have a good answer for that I will do whatever! Because she's on my mind a lot!

Home girl,
I love the booze. So far I haven't done anything I wanted to regret except that text a few nights ago. Going out with my buds to bars, even if I don't drink, makes me forget about her. Because I'm having a good time!

[BWK10]

You're missing the point, and I'm not trying to be rude. I only got the idea 6 days ago about what NO CONTACT means, entirely. Yes. It sucks thinking your ex might be with someone else, but now that's NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS.

It doesn't matter if you wish her luck, leave her alone and move on. I know, ITS HARD... don't ever think you won't think about her, and the good times you had together... it's what you do with those thoughts that matter.

Don't text her, call her, email her... take advice from someone going through the same thing, and who only got the real idea of NC about a week ago. I feel stronger everyday

[prowaker]

I know its none of business and it shouldn't be but its hard not to think about. Its just weird picturing her with another guy.

But 4 years created so many good times that's the hard part. No matter what I'm doing its like we used to do it together. Or a certain place we used to go.

I'm stopping everything I deleted her number, don't have her on Facebook.

[BWK10]

Well, good. I know what you mean, certain things/places remind me of her too. It's just, what you have to deal with. Ill be having a great time at work and a memory of us snuggling watching a movie, or holding hands at the mall... nothing even substantial will pop into my head. It's bothersome, to a degree but it was just a time I was really happy.

She's not exclusive to you anymore, what she does... is her business. It doesn't bother me at all, thinking about my ex with someone else... cause one day, Ill have someone else.

Leave her alone from now on, ball is in her court if she wants anything. Thing is, she may never touch that ball ever again. Sorry man.

[prowaker]

I work all the time try to keep busy every time I'm not working! Its just weird and like you said things pop up into my head.

I know I'm not exclusive to her anymore I get that. I'm nothing to her. It bothers me because she was I could say my first true love. I dated before her but nothing serious like we were. And I was her first for EVERYTHING and I don't get how she's moving on so fast. And one day I'm hoping to have someone as well.

Yah I'm not going to try and get the ball. Ill wait until its served and if its never touched oh well. She's the one losing, to be honest.

[BWK10]

Yeah, things will pop into your head all the time. It's what you do with those thoughts, and don't act on instinct. One of my ex's was my first true love as well, she had someone TWO WEEKS after breaking up with me. I'm over her, I don't care about her anymore. It's just, time will heal all wounds buddy.

Trust me on that one, I'm dealing with another breakup now... and know time will heal all wounds.

[prowaker]

Yah I know time heals everything. I was actually doing pretty good until I sent that text a few nights ago and then when we talked for a bit and she told me about this guy. I thought I was through the tough part but now it just got worse, knowing about this other guy.

Just out of curiosity how long were your relationships?

[Wondergirl]

it just got worse, knowing about this other guy.

It just got worse because you ripped the scab off the wound, and now it's bleeding again. You're back to square one.

There's an addition onto that saying. Back when the rocks were still cooling, we used to knowingly pass it on to someone in your boat --

"Time heals all wounds, and Time also wounds all heels."

[BWK10]

Here is my story prowalker, learn from my mistakes too:

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...ea-452762.html

[MyBrainIsMyDrug]

yah i know time heals everything. i was actually doing pretty good until i sent that text a few nights ago and then when we talked for a bit and she told me about this guy. i thought i was through the tough part but now it just got worse, knowing about this other guy.

just out of curiosity how long were your relationships?

Dude that's why you don't talk to her, you didn't need to know about that... its not serving any purpose but causing you to think more and rack your brain... I am going through a similar situation as you... and you know what, ask yourself HONESTLY, why would you want to know what she's doing and why do you want to be friends with her for?

I understand you've known her for a very long time, my ex I knew for 8 years and we were together FOUR times (yes to anyone who may remember my last thread it was attempted AGAIN, against all my best judgement)... but at the end of the day, it doesn't matter how long you've known her and if you guys weren't friends before you were just a relationship from the get go, what makes you think you can be friends? Not only that but as I said, what's the point? Your just going to cause problems in your head by doing that, you need to cut her out of your life completely... she blocked you? So block her on facebook/msn/e-mail... delete her number and any texts you have from her, any pictures, get rid of it...

A painful lesson I've learned is that when people here say NC is the only way, it really IS the ONLY way to get through it properly... It hurts like crazy, especially when its still raw within the first week or so... you said something about you being fine before you sent a text the other night... I made the same mistake... I went days without any contact and caved one day and felt even worse for sending one, now I'm back on track trying to stick to NC because I know inside it works just like it did for almost 3 years for me with her but then I broke it last year... before that I didn't even think about her and it was a nonissue


But you... basically, NC, stick to it, don't talk to her in any way, TRY not to think about her (I know its very hard, this is coming from someone who suffers from OCD, but its important), don't think about anything to do with her... work, exercise, go for hikes, play games, watch a movie... just listen to some music or go for a nice cruise if you have a car... hang with friends and talk to people... anything to keep your mind off it, as with anything it will get easier


If you want to talk or anything I will listen as I'm going through the same thing so its nice to talk to someone in the same boat

[valkman98]

The last post says it all.

[MyBrainIsMyDrug]

On top of that though, if you really did love this girl and you believed she loved you... don't be resentful or spiteful about the break up, you can love someone and they can love you inside but not be IN LOVE... if things won't work out they just won't work out... take it from someone who tried FOUR times with the same person, if something doesn't work out the 1st time, 9/10 chances it won't work out the second time... and 100% I can say it Definitely won't work out any more times... this is why its useless to hang on, because your just hanging on to a memory of when you first met and how things USED TO BE as opposed to focusing on now and how things ARE, sure... keep that memory, but don't dwell on it, and definitely don't keep yourself in love with the past

[BWK10]

As someone in my life, who is important to me always says "If its meant to be, it's meant to be"