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xdarkninja · Jul 8, 2009, 09:51 PM

Yea, well what happened was after I lost my grandfather, and she started liking another guy that was live close to her. I was in a total mess and adding on to her it's just too much. And when we broke I tried to get her back and all (failed) but she said when we broke her and this guy (the guy she likes but still loves me?? Don't know how that works and the dude probable doesn't have the same passion as I have for her, but its up to her to decide.) got close together and 3 weeks later.. they are together. So after a week I confessed to her why I broke up with her (after she broke up with me and came back and I didn't think too much at that time) but either way... a break is a break and she said so are you okay just being friends and life goes on.. and I said you so that was it... and about 2 weeks later I talked to her and I felt the distance in her so than I started NC so now it's been about 3 weeks and I don't know if she is still with that guy or not but last thing I found out is I think they got into a fight so I just sent her a message saying I'm there for her if she needs me pretty much. So.. yea NC for 3 weeks now and still sticking with it but I'm going up to see her and few friends in August so I'm making sure I'm ready for the unexpected by that time. Like I said before, "no one knows whats gonna happen in the future so ... only time can tell." Funny thing is I think she been checking up on me lately (maybe she thinks I'm taken already)... I think I already turned the table around -_- but either way I'm happy being myself, hanging out, and training parkour at times and keep myself busy while she can deal with her current b/f issue or w/e. I'm only there as a friend when she NEEDS me.. until than I have nothing to really say to her cause of all the distances. And she has the right to hit me up.. not just me, but I know the way she is so I def. don't expect her to contact me until I contact her cause she is those type that is scared to really face her own fear. (That's pretty much what she told me after that guy asked her out, "I wanted to tell u but i didn't have the courage" So hope that said enough about her). I understand her view so I respect that in her and also she was confused about herself cause she didn't know if she has a future with me and what she see in this guy reminds her so much of me... and that she wanted to experience dating around (not that stuff)... it's a mess. Hope I didn't confuse you lol but that's my story.

jlove09 · Jul 9, 2009, 08:53 PM

Well, that's okay. At least you're cool with everything and this new guy isn't bringing you down. Im glad you've made your own decisions and did what you think felt right for you. Keep me posted.

xdarkninja · Jul 9, 2009, 09:04 PM

Yea man, I plan on visiting her and few of her friends in August... I don't know what's going to happen or how awkward it's going to be. Or maybe things will turn out for the better, but after 2 months and talking like 2 times... doesn't favor me much. I still love her like crazy but I can't really do much but let them be. *sigh* life really is rough... wish we all could tell the future to see what's going to happen, probable make our lives easier.

s_cianci · Jul 9, 2009, 09:08 PM

I've asked plenty of girls about this and they say the same. If she wants space, give her space but don't run away from her and stop being her friend. Cause she really wants time to herself.

But it's not about what she wants. It's about doing what's right for you. Now tell me, what's the point in being "friends" with someone who disappointed you and obviously has no more romantic interest in you? Statements like the above quote that you're being given, by women, are just a case of wanting the cake and eat it too. Very convenient from their point of view. But it's not about them, it's about you.

jlove09 · Jul 10, 2009, 05:01 AM

10th July, 2009
Friday : 7:57 pm

My plan and waiting period starts now. I'll give her 2 months of pure friendship and if she doesn't come back around in that time, goodbye sweetheart see you in the next life. No contact will come in. I'll leave without warning. It starts today.

Ok. So, last night I got tipsy and ended msging her telling her I miss her. We msged a bit then she's like ttyl cause she knew I wasn't being normal. She then msged me few hours later saying don't message me OK. I said why. I managed to get her to call me on my home phone and like old times, we fell asleep on the phone. Today, kicked of pretty well with us joking around and talking normally. Lets see what happens tonight. I want to play by my own decisions and see where I end up :)

COCADA · Jul 10, 2009, 11:41 AM

Don't play with her or your feelings, be honest to yourself. Deep down inside we all know the answer to every problem in our love life, we just think about things too much, and a lot of thoughts blinds us form being reasonable. At the end of the day you'll get what you need, not what you want. Good luck!

xdarkninja · Jul 10, 2009, 12:35 PM

Sometimes things aren't really what we expect... it's not as bad as you think it is. By over thinking the situation it could cause things way worst than it is already. Yea, you two might broke up, but its not about who is right or wrong. As long none of y'all have made a final closure than there is always still hope, but the chance is created by yourself. By over analyzing everything and making things worst than what it is... than that will pretty much make someone give the closure.

My theory is just live your life and let time fix it all up, when it's time to be it'll be... great things takes time so don't rush into anything. And you might over analyze her "chat" with you but it might not mean a thing to her, so just stop thinking too much about it, you guys aren't together so all this really means nothing. Just another day with another conversation with words. If you truly love her, just let her go and if she truly loves you she'll come back in her own free will... than it's up to you to decide. Cause even if she does give you another chance that you asked, she might just be like okay w/e, not really putting effort nor caring.. do you really want that in a relationship? Or would you want her to freely come back in her own free will so maybe the spark with warm fuzzy feeling will spark up again? Like my situation... I'm willing to wait for that spark cause I rather her be herself than be someone she's not and be with me. But on the other hand I'm letting go as well so I know at the end of the day, I'm not hurt by the final choice or decision cause I'm still me.

Cocada is right about all this... he/she hit the spot.

jlove09 · Jul 10, 2009, 08:26 PM

Yeah, Im not analyse or anything much. I'm talking as a friend and its working... :)

xdarkninja · Jul 10, 2009, 08:28 PM

W00t gratz XD... so only be her friend when u can accept it? Is that how you're taking it as?

jlove09 · Jul 10, 2009, 08:42 PM

Yeah, that's how I'm taking it as. We get along like old times cause we started as friends. Before the break up, she did tell me how she missed the old me. All bubbly , etc. I guess she's seeing that side of me again :)

xdarkninja · Jul 10, 2009, 08:46 PM

Aww lucky you. Mine doesn't even talk to me until I speak to her but I'm so busy I don't have the time to really talk to her. :( Want her back so much but don't even know how... :\ It's been 3 weeks for me now...

I'm starting to like your view on things cause I thought about it the same, taking it as it's not an end but just an beginning. I guess actually being there makes it more worthwhile than being in distance.. cause I'm few states away from my ex and I plan on going up to see her and some of her friends ( well "our" friends now) so you think it's a good idea?

jlove09 · Jul 12, 2009, 07:17 PM

That is entirely your choice cause I don't know what your relationship is like or what's happening. But you could give it a try. I did and the other night she just did something I lost respect and everything for her so I'm not going to talk to her again. She's a complete stranger to me now. It hurt me to the point I don't even want to be friends with her anymore.

greenhaven · Jul 12, 2009, 07:28 PM

I think the NC rule after a breakup is the only solution... if you want to properly recover. I called my ex several times after my breakup because I missed him and was hoping he would change his mind about the break up. When he didn't and he told me he's glad "we can be friends," it hurt me. I'm still at a stage where I want more than friendship and anything he said otherwise is like salt to the wound. I vowed not to contact him again until I'm 100% over him.

jlove09 · Jul 12, 2009, 07:42 PM

With me, I was fine and all right with being just friends but what she did that night, she didn't even treat me like a friend. I know she cares and all that jazz but she is a stranger to me now.

jmooney527 · Jul 13, 2009, 05:14 AM

Another reason that NC is valuable, not only to you but to THEM. When you play the "friends" game after a breakup, a lot of the times either you or them will play these little games when you try to make each other jealous and essentially mess with each other's heads.

I will agree that in the RAREST scenarios it is okay to be friends with an ex, but for the most part it turns into this game and it only causes more drama and pain.

Good luck with everything!

jlove09 · Jul 15, 2009, 08:13 AM

4 days with NC. Nearly, took that away tonight but I won't. What's the point? Bit of pleasure and a long term of hurt? Its not worth it. She called me yesterday but I missed it and anyway I don't plan to pick up. Unless she is willingly to give us a second shot and even then she is going to have to do a lot. I miss her like crazy. That's all I wanted to say.

xdarkninja · Jul 15, 2009, 10:42 AM

Don't we all miss our ex's but just stay strong... I just broke mine to tell her I'm going up there in August and she is welcome to join with us (so I'm not forcing her lol) and left it like that and now doing my own parkour thing. XD

Jlove09 this might help or might not, but don't choose to let go just choose not to care. XD That's what I'm doing lol so either way if she comes back that's great if not than you don't care...

jlove09 · Aug 5, 2009, 11:23 PM

Threads merged

We broke up 2 months ago. It hurt for me to be around her so I told her to block me out of her life (Immature of me... I know) but she refused to so I asked her best friend to tell her to do it and eventually she did. We didn't talk for like 2 weeks then I message her out of nowhere, casually and she replies after a few days after I said gnight that night and told me to off, I'm pathetic, she hates me and I'm retarded. I told her I won't give up on her till she has found someone and she said she has and its her ex boyfriend. But I don't know if she said it for me to go away but I found out her friends would have wrote half of the messages too. Anyway, she allowed it so she's part of it. Last night she calls me 15 times on private number I picked up and just left the phone there just to waste her credit. The problem is I have tried staying away and I am going good, its just days like these when I tend to stop think about her. She's not doing that, is she? How can people forget about the person they shared something with like it was nothing? I don't want her back but I wanted to be friends with her, get attention from her and show her what a great person she has lost >.<

Gemini54 · Aug 5, 2009, 11:41 PM

Sorry, but I don't get it.

You break it off in a fit of piqué.

You wail about the fact that she's contacted you, and you started it by messaging her.

When she tells you to shove off, you tell her you won't until she's found someone else.

Now you're complaining because she won't leave you alone.

I don't want her back but I wanted to be friends with her, get attention from her and show her what a great person she has lost .

Huh? It sounds like it's all about you and you're playing childish games.

HistorianChick · Aug 6, 2009, 07:38 AM

Stop playing games with her heart. She deserves to be loved, cherished, and told that she's the best thing that ever happened to someone.

You broke up with her. You have no right to be "wanting to get her attention"... that's wrong. Leave her alone.

A break up is a break up. Your relationship has broken. It sounds like she just wants to move on... and you should too.