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binx44 · Oct 10, 2006, 10:47 AM

Am on assistance now... won't need a phd to finish my sdtudies in bartending... though I'm also thinking of taking business... I still want him in my life though.. eventually

BIM · Oct 10, 2006, 11:20 AM

Originally Posted by binx44

i still want him in my life though.. eventually

Keep that in the far back of your mind. Do your own thing, look out for #1. I hope you don't let him back into your life. Most of the time once they treat you like that, they will do it again.

Where are you living now?

talaniman · Oct 10, 2006, 11:47 AM

Originally Posted by binx44

am on assistance now... wont need a phd to finish my sdtudies in bartending.... though i'm also thinking of taking buisness... i still want him in my life though.. eventually

You were doing just great until you threw in that last sentence. HEY YOOOOO, He is why your life is so screwed up in the first place!! Why be a glutton for punishment?

momincali · Oct 10, 2006, 02:00 PM

Binx, Hope you're not thinking that once you get your stuff straight that he will want you and things will be hunkie dorie.. that's not usually the way it works. This guy kicked you while you were down and is throwing you out. Don't fix yourself for him, fix yourself for you. I think once you do, you really won't want him back.

Wildcat21 · Oct 10, 2006, 02:08 PM

You don't want this jerk back ever. He's history - learning experience and that's it.

binx44 · Oct 11, 2006, 04:04 AM

*cries* he's still kicking me when I'm down... Boy can't I feel the hate growing each day. I odnt think he really even cares now that I look at it.. I can't move out until Thursday.. HE FLIPPED OUT over that... I asked why he was being that way. He said I'm still trying to run his life.. I isn't though I'm trying to fix mine.. I've got enough stress on me to worry about him... though I think now he doesn't love me... not sure if I care or have the will to go on.. each time things start going good my face is kicked into the dirt yet again..,.

Wildcat21 · Oct 11, 2006, 07:58 AM

Why do you even have an once of like for this guy. He seems like real SCUM.

Please leave him and don't look back!! Ever.

This guy is an abuser.

HE WAS TRYING TO RUN YOUR LIFE!!

WHY WOULD YOU PUT UP WITH HIM?

momincali · Oct 11, 2006, 12:26 PM

Originally Posted by binx44

*cries* hes still kicking me when i'm down... Boy can't i feel the hate growing each day. i odnt think he really even cares now that i look at it.. i can't move out til thursday.. HE FLIPPED OUT over that... i asked why he was being that way. he said i'm still trying to run his life.. I aint though i'm trying to fix mine.. i've got enough stress on me to worry about him... though i think now he doesnt love me... not sure if i care or have the will to go on.. each time things start going good my face is kicked into the dirt yet again.,...

I think hate for this guy is a waste of an emotion. What you might want to feel for him is pitty, that he doesn't realize what a miserable blankity-blank he really is. What you should feel is the sheer desire to improve your life, not doubt that you can continue. Turn that hate into strength and determination. You use your doubt as an excuse to hold on to him, fear of the unknown. Well know this, if you don't do all you can to pick yourself up, you'll never know where life could have taken you. Life is a blessing, don't ever disrespect it by allowing yourself to be abused this way.

He may have helped you once upon a time, I'm sure he got something out of it too. Focus on today, not your past. You are young and I know you weren't put here on this earth to take crap from a creep like that, so don't.

Leave tonight, stay at your mom's for just one night, as uncomfortable as it is, it's better than staying there with him. Don't write him a note, don't tell him you're going to do it, as a matter of fact, don't contact him for ANY reason again. Get back on track. You can do it. Let go of the doubt. What would you do if you weren't afraid?? There is no limit if you want it!

Skell · Oct 11, 2006, 06:34 PM

I think the sooner you can feel no emotion for this loser the better.
Obviously easier said then done. But you must just get away from him and put him as far away in your past as you can.
But you won't do that by staying near him. Get away. It is going to hurt but it will be the best thing for you. Plus we will be here to help!
Listen to what mom says though. Inspiring words. Turn the hate into dtermination and strength.

binx44 · Oct 12, 2006, 09:45 AM

Its just so hard to stop caring for him... more harder then I wish it wAS

binx44 · Oct 15, 2006, 07:15 AM

Update... : Have been living in my new place since Thursday. The roomates I have are awesome... quite intresting too... they are bolth taking drug and alchoal counseling course at the local community collage so they are quite intresting to talk to. Bolth are in their early tweties so there is not much of an age difference so it is easier to talk to them. Couldn't sleep well the first night there but who can in a new home when your room feels cold.. I think I need to get some posters. LOL... saw the ex on Friday. (just to return his house key)Dont want to see him for a while.. can't believe the bull **** I put up with..

J_9 · Oct 15, 2006, 07:32 AM

Yes, it is hard to stop caring for someone. That is how we learn our lifes lessons. If pain were not involved we would not learn.

Now on to the good news.

CONGRATS... I am sure these awsome and interesting roommates will help keep your emotions in check and make moving on so much easier for you.

Glad things are looking up for you. You deserve it!

binx44 · Oct 15, 2006, 07:57 AM

Thanks for eing here for me you all... it really helped kowing I could takl about things and someone would actually listen instead of being rude.. :):)*hugs you all*

Skell · Oct 15, 2006, 03:55 PM

Stay strong binx.

No one will lie to you and say this is going to be easy. It will hurt but we will be here to help you.

You've already come along way. So keep strong and one day you'll realise how lucky you were to get away from him!

Wildcat21 · Oct 16, 2006, 11:25 AM

Personally - don't ever see that guy again. He is an EX for a strong reason.

BIM · Oct 16, 2006, 02:34 PM

I am very happy for you!! :D

Stay strong! These kind of guys are very manipulative!!

You've come a long way.

binx44 · Oct 21, 2006, 02:53 PM

Well, Its been around a month now or so and I'm still doing as awesome as I can be... Hes still trying to keep me in limbo it seems... Trying to make me not know weather I am coming or going.. BUT... I am trying still not to let it affect me. Haven't talked to him more then twice in a few weeks (only because he called and politely asked if he could have my john handcock so he could rent some movies.. Hes still got my movie card and the girls there won't let him use it because they all know I am not with him anymore.) I did let him rent a few movies on my account with the deal of if they are late he pay's for them. And he did pay for meto rent a movie.. It wasn't so bad just taking to him for 5 minutes in a public place where I know he'd never attempt to upset me in any way... Been hanging out with a lot of friends and life is getting a lot easier. I thought you would all like an update

J_9 · Oct 21, 2006, 02:58 PM

Great to hear things are going well. You sound so much happier.

Good for you girl. Time to do the things YOU like to do.

Skell · Oct 22, 2006, 03:59 PM

Try and have as little or no contact with him at all. It won't help you in any way on your healing path.

BIM · Oct 23, 2006, 07:23 AM

GREAT NEWS Binx :D

Isn't it interesting how he was nice when you have something he wants?? (video membership) :confused: Very Manipulative!

Don't let him use you at all. Tell him to get his own membership.

Keep up the good work! :p

Life gets easier everyday.