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startover22 · Feb 20, 2009, 04:00 PM

He sounds like a good man Wondergirl. When I think about it though, couldn't he do much more from a home, knowing what he knows about the whole situation first hand?

Wondergirl · Feb 20, 2009, 04:05 PM

Originally Posted by startover22

He sounds like a good man Wondergirl. When I think about it though, couldn't he do much more from a home, knowing what he knows about the whole situation first hand?

A home?

He educated me and I educated my coworkers at the library and am writing about him and what he taught me, so that educates others who may be able to change attitudes and behaviors of givers as well as recipients of charity.

From one of my stories about him:

One night when we were leaving the library, it was pouring rain. Coworkers huddled together under the few remembered umbrellas and planned their dash into the parking lot. From out of the corner near the outdoor ashtray, a large body covered with an enormous dark green poncho made of garbage bags and duct tape moved toward me. Nort opened up an ultra-wide pink golf umbrella that someone had given him. In a soft-gruff voice he asked if he could escort me to my car. I grinned at him from ear to ear. He grinned back at me. A friendship was born.

startover22 · Feb 20, 2009, 04:23 PM

I like it.
One day, I was heading to the post office just in time for all 12 of my packages to arrive to their recipients on time for Christmas. I got a front parking spot, got out of my car and wondered, how in the heck are you going to get these in there at the same time. I had to make two trips or carry all on top of each other and hope to God there was a nice person to open the door for me. I noticed this man singing, and yes it was obvious he was homeless. He saw me, I saw him, he sang all the way to the door only to stop when he said, (as he opened the door) Ma'am, and held his hand in the gesture to scoot me in the building. A friendship was not born, but I did say thank you and how he made my day much easier. As I left the post office, I handed him a five (cash I had in my pocket) I hope I made his day a little easier too;)

The only reason I brought up the fact that it may be easier for him to help others from a home is that he could give hope to many that there is something to look forward to. If he likes the way he lives, then so be it, but there is no sense in promoting homelessness and how wonderful it can be. At least not to me, and maybe that IS because I have never been homeless.

Wondergirl · Feb 20, 2009, 04:52 PM

Originally Posted by startover22

The only reason I brought up the fact that it may be easier for him to help others from a home is that he could give hope to many that there is something to look forward to.

You mean a homeless shelter?

He's been in and out of the hospital over the past several years and would go to an area rehab center/nursing home for six weeks or so each time for continuing/followup treatment. I encouraged him to apply for SS (he was gainfully employed for most of his life), but he had no bank account because he had no roof over his head (banks want a residence address), and he didn't want so much money stuffed in his pockets every month. I talked myself blue in the face regarding getting an apartment or a rented room or even live at the HUD retirement home across from the library. Finally, a social worker at the rehab place joined in on the effort and finally convinced him to apply for SS and drove him to their office. She also encouraged him to make the rehab place his home. That's where he is now. Keep her in your prayers, as she is his angel.

inthebox · Feb 21, 2009, 10:09 PM

Wondergirl

Does your whole experience with the homelessness just involve this one person you have described?

20 or years ago when I was a student in Philly, there were homeless by the local WAWA [ I don't know if they were are still around] and 'd go in get myself a snack and if there were homeless I'd get them a snack or a hotdog also.

One time I gave this guy a hot dog and he asked why I couldn't get him a hoagie or a sub instead. Mind you, I'm a student, living on loans and money saved from summer jobs.
After that, I stopped giving.

That is what your story of this one homeless person sounds like, a sleeping bag is useless, shelters are useless, 5 pound bags of apples are useless.

If that is the case, why should anyone care about this person?

Charity does to have to house someone:
Volunteer or contribute to your local Salvation Army or in my area God's Pantry, get some kids gifts for Christmas [ walmart and the YMCA do this every year ], donate clothes that you have outgrown or don't fit to Goodwill.

Ask what that homeless person may need.

One time a guy stood close to our local Best Buy, my wife asked what he needed. He needed toiletries and diapers for his little children. We went down the street to K Mart, bought it, came back and gave it to him. My wife loves to talk and she talked to him awhile and even gave him a hug.
You know, it might not be life changing, but for that one moment, we can help out.

"Whatever you do for the least of these...you do for me"

G&P

twinkiedooter · Feb 22, 2009, 02:57 PM

Quote from Inthebox:

Wondergirl

Does your whole experience with the homelessness just involve this one person you have described?

I quite agree. The whole homeless situation does not revolve around one man who refuses to go to a shelter and has to be "coaxed" into a rehab facility.

So, if you are so wonderful WG, why didn't you invite him to live in your home? Hmmmmm.

Wondergirl · Feb 22, 2009, 03:28 PM

Originally Posted by twinkiedooter

So, if you are so wonderful WG, why didn't you invite him to live in your home? Hmmmmm.

I live in an 800 sq ft two-bedroom house with two other adults and four cats. If I had the space, I would have, and I told him so many times. I did my best to pull the community around him, and also help him be responsible to the community.

And yes, I've known and worked with a number of other homeless people, both men and women. Those who "have" deal with them in many thoughtlessly thoughtful ways, giving the homeless what they think the homeless need.

Wondergirl · Feb 22, 2009, 03:47 PM

Originally Posted by inthebox

One time I gave this guy a hot dog and he asked why I couldn't get him a hoagie or a sub instead.

Did you ever think that people give homeless prepared food and have slipped something inside that could cause intestinal problems, or maybe certain foods cause allergic or digestive reactions? My homeless guy was VERY careful from whom he took fast food or sandwiches/soup. He also had to say no to chili or anything spicy. He learned quickly early on. In case of an attack of vomiting or diarrhea, the homeless don't have a bathroom close by nor do they have a shower and fresh clothing available.

That is what your story of this one homeless person sounds like, a sleeping bag is useless, shelters are useless, 5 pound bags of apples are useless.

You have become homeless and get around with a bicycle and two saddlebags. What would you do with a soaking wet sleeping bag? Would you go to a shelter knowing your bags of stuff (personal papers, changes of clothing) would disappear while you're asleep? Where will you store the uneaten apples?

contribute to your local... [food] pantry

And be sure to contribute small cans of fruit and vegetables. If it is just one homeless person, not a family, it's much easier for him or her to open one small can and eat it in one fell swoop without leftovers.

get some kids gifts for Christmas

Just Christmas? What about Easter? Birthdays?

donate clothes that you have outgrown or don't fit to Goodwill

Please make sure they are in good repair and clean. You wouldn't believe the condition of some of the stuff that is donated.

Ask what that homeless person may need.

Thank you for mentioning that again.

startover22 · Feb 22, 2009, 08:54 PM

You have become homeless and get around with a bicycle and two saddlebags. What would you do with a soaking wet sleeping bag? Would you go to a shelter knowing your bags of stuff (personal papers, changes of clothing) would disappear while you're asleep? Where will you store the uneaten apples?

Does his stuff not get stolen on the streets?

Just Christmas? What about Easter? Birthdays?

I don't think he meant just on these occasion. I donate all year round.

Did you ever think that people give homeless prepared food and have slipped something inside

YES, and that is a big worry, I can give so much left overs it isn't funny, but some people won't take them...

AND, asking what they may need is a great idea, cept if I have something in my car that I think someone may need, (hat, gloves, blankies, or just some food) I hope they would take it and pass it on if they didn't want it. Some homeless people say they don't want it and go on to ask me for money, I say this is all I have and then they are upset.

startover22 · Feb 22, 2009, 08:57 PM

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

You mean a homeless shelter?

NO, a home... that is well worth looking forward to. He seems awfully smart and others on the street probably look up to him. It would be way better for him to be able to say, "I have been where you are, here are the steps to get where I am now."

Wondergirl · Feb 22, 2009, 09:01 PM

Originally Posted by startover22

Does his stuff not get stolen on the streets?

Nope! He was usually awake most of the night. Kept a baseball bat at his side. (The shelter would have taken it away from him if he wanted to stay there.) He was allowed to nap in several places during the day.

Some homeless people say they don't want it and go on to ask me for money, I say this is all I have and then they are upset.

Homeless can buy food they pick out themselves if someone gives money. They can use only so much in clothes and blankets.

What did you decide about the wet sleeping bag, et al.

startover22 · Feb 22, 2009, 10:17 PM

I understand all of the points you are giving.
The sleeping bag thing? Well, I can't decide anything, if they don't want it then that is fine. I just don't have the money to give for a motel or hotel room, so that is the closest thing I can give. Something warm for maybe a night... thats all.

Wondergirl · Feb 22, 2009, 10:28 PM

Originally Posted by startover22

I understand all of the points you are giving.
The sleeping bag thing? Well, I can't decide anything, if they don't want it then that is fine. I just don't have the money to give for a motel or hotel room, so that is the closest thing I can give. Something warm for maybe a night...thats all.

The police in the suburb where my homeless man hung out did not allow sleeping in public on level surfaces -- park benches or even on the ground. Lugging around a dry sleeping bag is tough enough and after one night's use wrapped around him while sitting on a bench he then stuffs it into a Dumpster? He wasn't wasteful, and would have given it to me (unused) for a shelter's use. Btw, people gave him used sleeping bags, even dirty ones. And he knew how to be warm without sleeping bags.

Something we have to do to maintain proper circulation is lie flat at least so many hours a day. He never did that unless someone gave him a night in a motel room.

startover22 · Feb 23, 2009, 08:03 AM

I do get that he did not need the sleeping bag. I just think if he can get an address like you say and collect his SS... and feel a bit more safe living in a home, well, I just think it would be better. I suppose that is my point. I wish your friend well.

Wondergirl · Feb 23, 2009, 10:07 AM

Originally Posted by startover22

I do get that he did not need the sleeping bag. I just think if he can get an address like you say and collect his SS....and feel a bit more safe living in a home, well, I just think it would be better. I suppose that is my point. I wish your friend well.

That's exactly what happened - he finally was able to begin collecting SS and has a roof over his head now (and a shower a day and regular meals and a warm bed).