[Wildcat21]

Holly - any new news??

Did you try and write a letter? Outline everything?

[DJ 'H']

I have not wrote a letter - but Pete is not talking to me at all. His mum is being the messenger and mediator for us.

I have decided to keep the baby - as scared as I am about bening a single mum - I know I can do it.

Petes mum has delivered the news to him and I am just giving him space. I have told his mum I do not expect anthing from him, and it is up to him what he does.

His mum text me last night saying he took the news calmly but would not say a word after that. He just sat watching TV and did not soeak one word or batter an eyelid - he was just very quiet.

I have asked Petes mum to tell him I would like to chat about my decision with him, but only when he is ready - so can he contact me and come and see me when he feels he can!

I doubt I am going to hear from him for quite some time now - and I am not gripping to any hopes or setting myself up for disappountment and more hurt. I am prepared to do this on my own.

One only hopes he comes round if not for me then for the baby!

So I am going to be a Mum. I am now 11weeks, so I am over quarter of the way through my pregnancy.

[Chery]

Hey DJ, congratulations. Take some time now to get the feel of it. Let your baby know that your looking forward to him/her.

I know it's hard, I raised my daughter alone (although I was married, but he was an abuser) and now my daughter is going to do the same - I'll be there to help her though.

Many, many more of us women have done it, will continue to do it, and once you've set your mind to it, things will be fine. They might not be what we all 'dreamed' of, but we are well aware that not all dreams come true, and they make room for new dreams and goals. Never give up the hopes and dreams that you have, just 'adjust' them a little.

Good luck, dear and keep us posted.

Eventually Pete will also adjust to the idea, even if it takes him years - being a parent 'grows' on you. You might not 'want' anything from him, but he does have obligations that he cannot and should not ignore. That's life!

[Krs]

Hey Holly,

Im so happy and proud of the decission you have made, which I think is the correct one to do.
You can definitley do it, you are a very strong minded person from what I can tell, and this baby deserves you as their mummy.

Concentrate on yourself and on YOUR baby.

Congratulation sweety
Xxxxx

[DJ 'H']

Cheers guys - just trying to concntrate on myself and the baby and look at the positives x

[Krs]

Exactly dear, keep your chin up, you have a lot to look forward to in the near future for you and your child within :) xxx

[Wildcat21]

I am very glad you're keeping the baby. Very glad.

Giving Pete space is the best thing you can do. The very best. I think he will come around.

[kp2171]

Hey holly,

I'm sorry that things with pete are not going so well still.

My wife, my mother, and my friend would all tell you that being a single mother was work and life changing, and in ways that they never regretted. You will have your ups and downs, but man... once that little one is in your arms you just feel a part of something bigger than yourself. It's a mad, crazy, frustrating, fun, fun, fun ride.

My friend was in somewhat of a similar situation as you are and the guy eventually came around for the baby. They were not together again, but they found some common ground and were able to mend a friendship and raise the child together. His family was especially supportive, and it sounds like petes family will be there to support you, even if he's not right now. She also, like my wife, later married and found a man who was there for the child and her.

There is a song by the group Sweet Honey in the Rock... they do kind of a gospel/african spiritual music a capella... the song On Children is from the writings of the philosopher Khalil Gibran. If anyone has access to filesharing or music downloads take a look at their songs. They are thoughtful, hopeful, and uplifting... songs by women whose voices are strong and true. The lyrics don't do the song justice.

This song in particular rings true to parents who already have kids, as we know how we are simply trusted stewards to these little, independent and dependent, wonderful kids who have as much to teach us as we have for them.

ON CHILDREN

Your children are not YOUR children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's
Longing for itself.

They come through you
But not from you,
And though they are with you,
They belong not to you.

You can give them your love but not your thoughts.
They have their own thoughts.
They have their own thoughts

You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in a place of tomorrow,
Which you cannot visit,
Not even in your dreams.

You can strive to be like them,
But you cannot make them just like you.
Strive to be like them,
But you cannot make them just like you.

REPEAT

[DJ 'H']

Support is definitely what I need and it is certainly what I have. My friends are all being fantastic too!

[Wildcat21]

That'swhat you need now. Keep busy.

[Krs]

Keep us posted DJ H.
You deserve to be happy now and try not stress yourself over pete. I personally think he is not worthed, she is acting childish and very seflish, but its easy for me to say that.
I do wish alllllllll the best dear. Xxxx

[JoeCanada76]

I am glad that you were able to make a decision. Your own personal decision. It is good that you have lots of support. Take care of yourself Holly. Remember we are all here for you too. Good luck with everything. You and your new little one are in my thoughts.

Joe

[DJ 'H']

Thanks Joe and thanks to everyone - pete is talking to me. Not about us braking up or about the pregnancy - but just having conversations and a bit of giggle with me and we even had a text conversation last night. It was short and brief and only a bit of a giggle again. The way we are at the mo - is how we were when we started dating. Its like we are starting again!

[Wildcat21]

Well that sounds like a lot of progress. You've handled this really well. IT SHOULD be like the old days - keep things easy for a while - No pressure - who like or wants pressure - no one. Keep it simple for a while - he'll love you for it.

If you get upset, nag, plead, threat, complain, put down... you'll just push him away.

[DJ 'H']

Well that sounds like a lot of progress. You've handled this really well. IT SHOULD be like the old days - keep things easy for a while - No presure - who like or wants presure - no one. Keep it simple for a while - he'll love you for it.

If you get upset, nag, plead, threat, complain, put down....you'll just push him away.

Just giving him space and being nice when I see him. I am having a small BBQ this weekend so I sent pete a text and just told him so and said if you are about and not busy then you are more than welcome to come. So we will wait and see what happens now!

[Krs]

I wish all the best and I mean from the bottom of my heart.
Play it cool just like you are doing as it seems to be working xx

[DJ 'H']

Yup; just keep playing miss cool and keep all fingers and toes crossed ;)

[Chery]

Yup; just keep playing miss cool and keep all fingers and toes crossed ;)

My daughter and I are crossing them for you too!

Keep us posted.

[DJ 'H']

I am off to devon for the weekend. Petes parents are letting me have their apartment (they own an aprtment in devon) as it is vacent this weekend. My friend amy is coming with me. Amy and I have been friends for 20yrs, we grew up together from playschool and have always been there for one another.

She is having a few problems with her new husband, so we are both going for a break!

[Krs]

That sounds like exactly what you need.
Girlie time with an friend, and also time for you to relax and get away from it all - for at least a wkend.
Have fun xx