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Hi,maybe this will give you a bit of help=because like me,you sound like you are just doing too much ,so,take 1 day a week to pamper yourself,read a book, browse stores,eat a ice cream cone,or a nice cup of java,get lost where no one can find you for a day-library,whatever!Until you are your best friend,and can say no without the guilt,things will not change much!You are reading this from a 59 year old who finally has said,it's my time, family is close,but I do have an answering machine,and a do not disturb sign,and I do find that,I can enjoy me,so,hang in there,I am praying for you,it's going to be all right!That friend will come along soon,I am hoping for that for you!
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Dear Need a friend, Take a deep breath and exhale. I'm sorry that life sucks and that you are going through a tough time right now. You will be OK, and you will make it through, but you need to take the correct steps to help yourself. You have too much on your plate to deal with. Can't your significant other help out (or someone else you trust - like a teacher, neighbour, tutor) help your son with his homework? If you are concerned and scared about your finances, you need to dive in, and face it head on: Go to the Website: "Till Debt Do Us Part" and read the steps. You need to figure out A. How much money you bring in per month. B. How much money you spend per month. C. How much debt you actually owe. Then take steps to make sure that you are NOT spending MORE than you bring home, and come up with a plan to tackle that debt. It's crappy, and difficult and scary - but I believe YOU CAN DO IT. Trim off the 'extras' you can't afford. Make sure there is enough money to cover for food and a roof over your head. If you can't afford to cover the costs of the teenagers - then they need to get part-time jobs to contribute. Don't pay for their cell phones, and tatoos, and clothing and trips out. You're not their FRIEND. (it's not a competition to win popularity votes.) You're their MOTHER. All you need to provide is love, communication, healthy food, and a solid roof over their heads. You can DO it. Enlist the help of your SignOther and tell him/her that you're at the end of your rope. Please. You're drained to the point of exhaustion. You're overwhelmed. Baby steps. You can DO IT! I believe in you. Xoxoxoxoxo |
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Bonnie46 is right you need more time for yourself and if you feel you need a change go for it I'm with you all the way OK! I wouldn't want to be sweet 16 or 18 again there were lots of thing I did wrong and if I had the chance again to make them aright I would have made different mistakes. |
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Thank you all! My youngest called at 10:30 to wish me a happy b day. That was great. The others... well my mother remembered. It just hurt my feelings. I had calls all day from them to complain and ask for things... Anyway, oh well right. Bonnie46: Have done all you suggested except the website. I have ASKED for help. BUT it has never come. I went to the school to find tutors twice... nothing! I have done the bills up, cut costs, and am ready to cut some more. The medical bills are coming in and I have had to put off the rest of the treatment... for a bit. I have come so far but not even close to far enough. No savings noi retirement, but at least most everythging is getting paid. The sign. Other says what can I do to help... then does nothing but add to the mess. Asks me to do more. My boss is asking that I make calls at night at home and on Sunday. The job I can't lose. I have gone on housework strike... to some degree, and I am doing little things to lighten the load. The main thing is my attitude. I am tired of feeling aweful, then I feel so selfish because... it could be so much worse. Anywaay, I will check out the website right now! Thanks again... and will continue to work on my attitude. |
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How about now?
I am just now sitting down from a day of cleaning in my jammies, cleaned out the junk drawers, did all the filiing... oh man even helped my oldest get his room in tip top shape. It was a nice day. I needed to get those bathrooms done and the laundry is all caught up. I can't seemed to do it ALL during the week while I work, so I suppose if I want it done right, I can let the kids take on a few "smaller" chores as I can finish upon the weekend. I am wondering if you are doing well? I really want to start my yoga again... PUSH ME SOMEONE!! Tell me my bub bye arm is coming back or something... LMAO |
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Hey strt... Get to the YOGA!. You sond better when you are doing it! I am OK... Lots of ups and downs... butI am here. I understand about getting caught up. I don't know how old the kids are... but... If you don't TEACH them how to do it right they will never learn and then you will be in my shoes. I have teenagers that don't know how to get dishes clean. I know they can but... I t is much easier to teach them small. Once it is a habit for them... it will be a given and they won't think twoice about doing it and doing it right... I am so glad you wrote... I hope all is well! RAH RAH You go Girl Do that YOGA!! |
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Ups and sowns here too... so yoga is probably part of my answer... (the guilt of not doing it cause I know it makes me better)
My kids are 14, 11, 7, and 5... they all have chores and homework. Thanks for the getting it right part. I know I have made the mistake by not really letting anyone do some things. I want it done right so I kind of feel as if I should just do it myself;) I know I know... gosh. I hope your downs turn to ups! WE HAVE to DO SOMETHING TO MAKE IT an UP though... so tell me what you are going to do;) Hugs! Go Need Rah Rah Rah... GO NEED |
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