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Wildcat21 · Feb 17, 2006, 08:38 AM

Matt - you don't need this gal if she was two timing.

mattvit · Feb 17, 2006, 08:41 AM

Dude, I'm leaving her alone. After 3 months I call and ask for coffee, u say she will feel differently and want to come back?

Wildcat21 · Feb 17, 2006, 09:03 AM

I am NOT promising you anything. BUT, right now there is NOTHING you can do. Nothing. She might come back to IF you leave her alone.

I don't know all the details in your relationship... it's sounds like you got jealous, possesive, needy. Not good.

Generally you will not get back together if there was cheating, abuse, lying. But, Dude, IF she wqas cheating on you - do you really want this gal back? Can you ever trust her again?

It sounds like, for some reason, she lost totally respect for you - you can't trust her.

You did something to push her away... figure out how you changed. I thnk you became too possesive of her.

Work on yourself the next 3 months - get to gym and workout.

mattvit · Feb 17, 2006, 09:46 AM

Dude, I did push her away and to someone else, that's y I feel like ****. But your right I was clingy and needy. But now being away from her and talking to you guys I know that I was like that and I shouldn't have... how she going to know that I have realized my mistakes, but leaving her alone? I want her back, I still love her, but because of how we were before this ****. My feelings are clouding my judgment. So if this is my fault, then there is nuthing wrong in wanting her back regardles of what she has done. I really want her to come back. I can't help it right now

Wildcat21 · Feb 17, 2006, 09:59 AM

I kind of knew that - women RUN from clingy-needy-possesive - they hate it.

Going forward

YOU CAN NEVER show her a higher interest level than she shows in you. IF you feel your interest level is too high - PULL BACK.

I advise NOT eve ncalling a gal ever yday... don't do it. I bet you called her 5 times a day and you became annoying to her. No question about it.

They ONLY way you can show you've changed is is to leave her alone. Let her do her thing. Give her space... because she doesn't want to be with you now.

YOU NEED TIME AWAY FROM HER AS WELL TO GET YOUR HEAD ON STRAIGHT!!

mattvit · Feb 17, 2006, 11:35 AM

Bro when your right your F#UCKIN RIGHT! U know your stuff. I'm starting to get it now and realizing she's usless and worth nuthing. Piece of garbage for doing what she did to me and f#uck me over like this. But at least I walk away with my head high after I stepped up and told her I'm gone and that its gameover for her. Thanks for support bro.

Wildcat21 · Feb 17, 2006, 11:46 AM

The cheating thing, and she she was cheating from what you've told me - really bothers me. Once a cheater - always a cheater - you'd really have to figure out why she was cheating. Because most likely she WILL cheat again.

Once a cheater. Always a cheater. They are PROGRAMMED that way usually because of a traumatic experience as a child - parents divorce - abusive father.

Let me guess? Her parents were divorced or her parents were abusive??

I have never known - and studied this a lot - for a cheater to stop. Unfortunately, women like that need attention from a lot of guys.

mattvit · Feb 17, 2006, 12:00 PM

bro, I don't know for sure she was cheating, but all the signs show it. I caught her with this guy driving her home in an eclisps. She would get strange phone calls when I would bring her home late at night. I found her lying to her parents about us being together. I found her sneeking around in the washroom with her cell phone, and when I busted her she definitely showed that she was doing something she wasn't suppose to, like she got caught. And the fact that she she was slowly pushing me away, not seeing each other that much, getting mad at me for calling her to wish her goodnite. She was just acting way not herself. And then the "break" thing happened... then on vday I saw the same car same guy drop her off at her house and she walked out with flowers. So its not coincidence that it was someone else's eclipse other than last time. Same car = same guy!! So she was cheating in my eyes... neways to answer your question, her parents treat her like SH#IT. They have no respect within the familly. Their always fighting and yelling at each other. They treat her brother like a king and her like a failure. Definitely favoritism here. I even had a scrap with her mom in October when they started to disrespect me and get in our business and also that after all this time together that they always put her down and don't show her respect.apparently she had a tramatic child hood, like no friedns they would make fun or her stuff like that because she was tall and skinny and ugly duckling. Then when puberty hit, she turned into a F#UCKING knock out. Apparently, her last boyfriend treated her like ****, and cheated on her with her best friend. So you, I knew she had lots of baggage but what can I say, I fell for her hard. So I don't know if all these things woud explain her actions, or if she lied from the start that maybe it was HER that cheated on the guy instead of the other way around. All I know is I did a lot for her and was good to her, however I have done my share of being bad to her as well. Around the end of November I started to be a bastard to her and yell at her and get pissed off at things she would do. But she gave me reasons to, I couldn't just let her walk on me. I would freak out on her stupideties and her disrespect because I knew she was doing them on purpose so that made me even more angry at her because she would do them over and over again and I let it get to far. BUT, its 50/50 in a relationship. She gave me reasons to be a jerk. I broke up with her like 2 times around xmas time after I caught her with the guy she is with now, because I was FED UP of her constant bull****# and GAMES. Same car=same guy!! So I know now for sure she was 2 timing. I don't know y I took her back. I was love sick and an idiot. I should have trusted my instincts, but she still held her ground and TOTALLY DENYED EVERYTHING although I kwew she was lying. Its probably around that time that she started to see the other guy because she started to act weird, lie and just plain not being herself its like she was possesed and not the same girl I loved. Even yesterday when I called and told her IM GONE GAME OVER, she still denied everything and was trying to hold on. I still can't get over the fact that she was crying and emotionall and telling me not to leave her and all that blah blah blah. Even called me back 5 times. Who knows what's going on in her head. She obviously has major issues inside. I'm starting to wonder that our whole 1.5 yrs was just a charade and an act. Thinking of all these things sure makes it seem that way. Anyway, so that's most of it. But how am I suppose to find out y she cheated and seeing another guy now? U said to leave her alone

Wildcat21 · Feb 17, 2006, 01:03 PM

That's what I thought.

See - women in bad up-brings tend to cheat...

Unfortunately, AND I prove it every day here... once a cheater ALWAYS a cheater. They are programmed with this way.

PLUS - the total jerk she dated before you I AM SURE MESSED HER BIG TIME - PROBABLY FOR THE REST OF HER LIFE.

Matt - you seem like you have the potential to be a good guy. My strong advice is to forget this gal. She would need years of therapy to get better - hopefully she is in it now. That's no way to be treated by her family at all. There nothing you can do to help her.

You will find a great gal... probably just not today. I'd work on Matt for now - improve yourself - workout - work hard at work - work hard at school if you're in school - hang with your family - it's really important - hang with your friends - work on hobbies.

Women are PART of your life - never your life. You end up like this when you put too much importance in them.

Wildcat21 · Feb 17, 2006, 01:05 PM

BTW - women like this will lie,cheat, and still... and tell you they never did.

She may grow up one day - just not today.

mattvit · Feb 17, 2006, 01:07 PM

I totally agree. My familly treated her more lovingly than her own. One thing I've always though of and corect me if I'm wrong but, as soon as I found out that the other guy cheated on her and she was extremely hurt by it, while being with her I always had the fear that deep down she would want to get revenge for what that guy did to her no matter who she would do it to. And I guess she did it to me. You think that's a fair to say?

mattvit · Feb 17, 2006, 01:14 PM

WILDCAT21... u seem to know a lot about this BS, and I just wanted to know your thoughts and ask if it was a smart move by calling her yesterday and tell her I decided in leaving her and this "break" thing is over and we are over and that her little game is now game over. Ciao have a nice life. It made me feel good, but you think it did anything to her?

Wildcat21 · Feb 17, 2006, 02:00 PM

No - I would not have called her. But hopefully you gave it some closure for yourself.

Truthfully, women like this take years to grow up.

I doubt it did much to her right now. She thinks/knows you will come crawling back... that's why you have to stop ALL contact for like 3 months on this one.

You need to become a challenege again for this gal. She wants a challenge - always... that's what the new guy provides - she WILL grow tired of this guy - trust me - and rather quickly.

Wildcat21 · Feb 17, 2006, 02:02 PM

"while being with her i always had the fear that deep down she would want to get revenge for what that guy did to her no matter who she would do it to."

Great read there - absoltely... 1000% - women like this will do that.

mattvit · Feb 17, 2006, 02:10 PM

WILDCAT21: "she WILL grow tired of this guy - trust me - and rather quickly."... how quickly?

blueiman · Feb 17, 2006, 02:26 PM

Originally Posted by mattvit

"she WILL grow tired of this guy - trust me - and rather quickly."..........how quickly??

Stop thinking about it my friend. Let it go...

Wildcat21 · Feb 17, 2006, 03:26 PM

"she WILL grow tired of this guy - trust me - and rather quickly."... how quickly?

I wouldn't worry about it... she doesn't have feelings for you now. You need to get this out of your head. She Won't come flying back to your arms - trust me.

You LOWERED her interest level the last few months - it's VERY, VERY hard to increase interest level. Being all needy and clingy and possesive lowers her interest level.

TIME is the only thing you can use... slowly she MAY remember the good times... but it won't be tomrrow.

DATE OTHER WOMEN.

nwsflash · Feb 17, 2006, 03:31 PM

DATE OTHER WOMEN.

Matt please listen your being given really good advice, you need to get this girl out of your head, and as we said before we all understand its hard but you need to move on and deal with your life... Get out have some fun! Start living yourlife, not living in a shadow.

talaniman · Feb 18, 2006, 12:01 PM

Please examine all these answers to your questions and be honest Are you a little needy? Instead of continuing on this pity pot would you not be better served to move on and don't you feel you've had plenty of time to stop whining over a female and just get on with your life?

fredg · Feb 19, 2006, 09:28 AM

HI,
I do agree with moving on with your life.
The more time you spend on this, wondering what your ex is doing, etc, etc, the less time you are actually talking with new girls.
Listening to a new girl can make friends much faster than talking about yourself. That is just a good tip to follow.
Listening will win you more friends in a month or so than talking about yourself, and will take much more time in finding someone who wants to listen to you.
Stop worrying, and don't be concerned about your ex. It doesn't matter what she does. YOU are the only one who matters. Take control of you life, and you will meet that one girl, eventually, who is right for you. Best of luck.