[nickshehe]

3 weeks before break up- I don't think I'll ever love anyone like I love you
2 weeks before break up- I think we need to take things easy and just have fun
1 week before break up- Im not really sure about us now.. but I can't imagine losing you in my life.. or never speaking to you again
Break up- I don't want anything to do with you any more.

1 week after break up- lets be friends
NC
Every 2-3 days msn message "hi"

Day 32 NC I believe?

[losingit77]

Haha Nickshehe - I love it.

4 weeks before breakup: "You know my mom and your mom should meet up. I mean, if we're going to get married they'd have to meet up first, right?"
2 weeks before breakup: "I can't imagine my life without you. I think it'd be great if we could be together forever. These past 4 years have gone by so fast".
Breakup: "I don't know what I want out of my future. I don't like where my life is headed. I need to build a new life and I can't worry about you while I"m doing that."
4 weeks after breakup: "I love. I will always love. I miss you. I just can't be in a relatinship right now. I want to be free to do whatever I want. Ur an amazing woman. You didn't do anything wrong. You don't deserve this. I'd still be willing to hang out if you want to."

Agh, Day 13 of NC. NC is awesome. It keeps you completely out of their confusion. And let's you start to see things more clearly. See the ex for what they are, " a confused messed up person who just lost the greatest thing that ever happened to them... forever.

[bigbird213]

I think a lot of people make the mistake of thinking about every word their exs said to them in the few weeks before they broke up, then critically tearing it apart and analyzing every single word. I'm not sure this is the best way to go about it because people tend to feel as if they were lied to or lead on.

I'm sure if I thought about it there were things my ex said to me before we broke up which I could look back on now and say "Why" and probably get all teary-eyed. However, that they did not mean it personally. I can guarantee none of them were thinking: "Let me say this to keep them hanging on so it hurts that much worse when I dump them." Its just simply not the case.

I try not to look at the breakup as a personal attack, rather just an incompatibility. Once it becomes personal, it hurts that much more.

Just my opinion

[kaneda]

LosingIt77 aww : / it seems to me you dream a little too often of him :'x you'd have to be really strong to make it past this point,so hold on both of you (bigbird213 too!).
As for me I rarely dream of him,when I did I always ended up crying and feeling well... really hurt.

[nickshehe]

Bigbird, recalling the words that were said to me, don't make me teary eyed they make me laugh at how ridiculous of a month it was.. Almost unreal :]
I agree with you though that it's the case 90% of the times.. and I've said before- the only reason I AM taking this break up personally, and I am angry- is the way that she handled it. Though I must say it left me without hope so I should probably thank her at the same time..

[kaneda]

What I heard 2 months before the breapup was "I never want to love or have another girl" riiight
Breakup? "Err...we have to talk...so that you dont feel lied to later.I dont feel the same about you anymore.Sorry.Now then how about that 4chan,huh?"

[losingit77]

Unfortunately, for me I've always been a very "active" dreamer. Its funny, when we together, I rarely had dreams with him in them. Now, that we're apart, they're starting up. Oh well, guess that's just the "missing him aspect." Just got to keep remininding myself its natural. I mean its only been 2 weeks since I last saw him. It okay to miss him... its NOT OK to call him though! So, its all good. Just looking forward to getting through the next couple of months and keeping myself busy. The last 2 days have been a little hard but I know its all going to be ups and downs for awhile. As long as I just cope with the emotional roller coaster for a bit, I'll come out the other end a stronger and better person for it.

[kaneda]

You sure are levelheaded wow
Okay :( I just saw this LoveShack.org Community Forums - View Single Post - What the hell happened? Falling out of love it made me cry because almost every aspect was present before my breakup and it may ruin my NC because of the sudden need to confront him :(

[losingit77]

Kaneda - Don't do it!

And don't kill yourself by reading all those things on the net that give a million different reasons as to why it didn't work or what YOU did that caused the breakup. Its not you. It was the both of you. Some times people just aren't compatible. Don't worry, you'll meet the person that's the right mixture of love and compatibility for you one day.

For now, just keep up with the NC. It'll make it a lot easier and try not to sit around dwelling on what went wrong or what's wrong with you. There's nothing wrong with you! He just wasn't the right one. One day you'll meet someone who feels equally as strong about you as you do about them. Just let time heal this. It will. I know I'm going through the same thing, we'll get through this.

[kaneda]

losingit77 thank you so much. I know I shouldn't blame myself or play the blame game at all.Its just he was so disrespectful to me,he even said it himself and it drives out of my skin right now.
What I did was make a cake.Not a big success but hey I kept NC.

[nickshehe]

When that love is gone, it's usually gone for good.

So if your partner has fallen out of love, it's time for you to do the same. When love isn't reciprocated, it comes back to you as pain. It's time to move on and start your new life.

True

[kaneda]

Starting day 6.Last night he IM-ed me saying "i hate you".Why?

[ihatewestseneca]

Starting day 6.Last night he IM-ed me saying "i hate you".Why?

May have been the "drunken IM" ignore it, don't let it get to you as how he feels about anything is meaningless at this point.

Probably thought it would make you crack and contact him, we know you're stronger than that though ;p

[talaniman]

At this point in time, the last thing you need is to wonder why he is doing, what he is doing. Not only will unanswered questions drive you crazy, and keep the confusion going, but will take the focus from where it should be, on YOU!! He is an immature NUT, so leave it at that, and start making yourself happy.

[kaneda]

You're both right.It wasn't the drunken IM though,since he doesn't drink but questions shouldn't be asked,Getting past your past explainted pretty good why not. I guess he's frustrated he's losing his puppy love girl ha! He'll get over it I'm sure.

[losingit77]

Kaneda - Good for you for not responding! See, the NC is getting to him. But anyway, don't respond and don't dwell on it. Don't get sucked back into his land of confusion. You don't deserve that and it'll only prolong your hurt.

Ah, Day 14. Going good. Missing him but looking forward to getting to the 30 day milestone. Can't wait to see how much better I feel by then. Its weird, I've never been on the receiving end of a breakup before. Wow! Makes me feel bad for anyone I've ever broken up with before. Oh well. That which doesn't kill us only makes a stronger. Everything happens for a reason. Time heals all wounds. Look forward not backwards. Ok, that's enough sappy one-liners for today.

[bigbird213]

Day 14...

Funny how its easier, then gets harder, then gets easier again. I like roller coasters, but not the emotional kind :)

Three days and I'm back home for summer. Looking forward to it. So much more to do at home then at school. That should make all of this a lot easier as well - I'll be much busier :)

Oh yeah, and I get to ride the motorcycle I'm buying myself next week :)

[losingit77]

Yeah, its amazing how it gets easy, then hard, then easy, then hard. But I guess that's just how it is. Anytime I start to think, "god, i can't do this"... I remember myself, "wait its only 14 days, thats 2 weeks..come on, that's nothing, you can keep this going!"

The greatest thing about NC is it eliminates all the "what ifs". At least for me. I can pretend he just doesn't exist anymore. We have no friends in common (atleast anymore since we all kept our respective friends post-breakup) and I never have to run into him since we live so far apart. If I don't want to know nothing, I don't got to know nothing. Its great!

Its like, come on losinit, you're doing fine, you can't expect to get over 4 years in 2 weeks? One day at a time. Looking ahead to the summer. Should be fun.

Motorcycle, huh? I need to make a "change". Think I'll just go a cheaper route and dye my hair blonde. And of course, go out and buy a whole bunch of new summer clothes.

[bigbird213]

Motorcycle, huh? I need to make a "change". Think I'll just go a cheaper route and dye my hair blonde.

It becomes a lot cheaper when I factor in gas for my commute to work :)

And of course, go out and buy a whole bunch of new summer clothes.

... I hope your nothing like a lot of the women I know, or else 'cheaper' is relative :cool:

[ISneezeFunny]

Haha, yep. With the money I was saving up to get a condo for my girl and me... I bought a gsx-r.