[Alty]

I will, send it to my email. :)

[ISneezeFunny]

Let's play a game...

I have...
's

[Alty]

Writers block Sneezy?

[ISneezeFunny]

YES!! Congrats!!

I'm bored alty. Watcha doing?

[HistorianChick]

Hey guys :)

[ISneezeFunny]

Hi hc! Watcha doing? I'm bored.

[Alty]

I just went to get my daughter back. Now she's crying in her room, actually crying is an understatement, she's screaming. Her friend is going to the lake for the day, they are staying overnight, Sydney wanted to go, but it's just not possible today. She's mad at me, really mad. She'll get over it. Five is a hard age, but it's still better than 15.;)

Do I get a prize for getting the riddle? ;)

[ISneezeFunny]

Yes. Your prize was Sydney... although I never guaranteed in what condition she'll be back in.

Oof. Screaming 5 year olds. Always makes me wonder if I'll ever have children.

[Stringer]

Well seeing as the theme for the day is "Ducks" why not a duck joke.............

A woman brought a very limp duck to the veterinarian's office. As she lay her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly and said, "I'm so sorry, your pet duck Cuddles has passed away."


The distressed owner wailed, "Are you sure?"


"Yes, I am sure. The duck is dead," he replied.


"How can you be so sure," she protested. "I mean, you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something."


The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room, and returned a few moments later with a black Labrador Retriever.


As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head.


The vet patted the lab and led it out of the exam room. He returned a few moments later with a cat.


The cat jumped up on the table and also sniffed delicately at the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the room.


The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck."


Then the vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman.


The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill. She screamed, "$150.00!" "$150 just to tell me my duck is dead!"


The vet shrugged. "I'm sorry. If you'd taken my word for it, the bill would have been $20, but with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it's now $150.00."

Loved it buddy...

[HistorianChick]

Hiiiiiii Sneezy... (spoken with flirty undertones)... how YOU doing?

I'm still loving my new job! :D

[ISneezeFunny]

Heh. I wish I had a job.

<--- jobless.

I'm doing fine. And you? ;)

[HistorianChick]

Would be much better if you were here to bring me coffee and that sweet smile! ;)

(Yup, Newly jobbed HC = flirty, happy HC)

[Alty]

When she's not screaming she's a sweetheart, and she doesn't scream often. But when she is screaming, look out, she's got her mother's temper. Poor kid, it will either get her far in life, or get her into allot of trouble. ;)

She's also very bright. Example;

When Sydney was three we went to Subway for lunch. Jared got a cola in a can. He put his straw into the can, and of course the straw rose to the top. He pushed it in, it rose to the top, he was getting frustrated. Jared says "Mom, why won't the straw stay in the cola can?" Sydney says "Jared, the soda is carbonated, the bubbles are pushing your straw out." Mommy sat there with a blank look on her face for a minute, were did my 3 year old pick that up? Sydney mistook the blank look for confusion, and proceeded to explain how carbonation works. What shows is she watching that I don't know about? ;)

[ISneezeFunny]

C'mon HC, when are you NOT flirty with me ;)

I wish I could be there. I'd be more than glad to bring you coffee and a massage for that view of the ocean from your office.

I'm currently stuck with the view of a gas station on the patio of a starbucks... writing about what my life would have been like had I joined the navy..

[Alty]

Got to go for a bit. Back later. Be good. :)

[ISneezeFunny]

Alty:

... that's amazing! My friends, to this day, STILL ask me questions about things like that.

You got a bright bright girl... and from the looks of that picture, a heartbreaker as well...

Time for that cabin in the woods soon.

[HistorianChick]

Sneezy in uniform... yummy... ;)

Ok, yeah... I guess I am typically flirty... sad. Its just because I'm a writer and can write the flirtiness. The flirting stops when my hands leave the keyboard... :D

[Stringer]

Kal...................oh Kal , now they are bad LOL. Here are some more bad ones , I've posted these before but you may not have seen them :)

I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah, I thought
"he's trying to pull a fast one".



So I said to this train driver "I want to go to
Paris".
He said "Eurostar?" I said "I've been on telly but I'm
no Dean Martin".



So I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to
do the splits?"
He said, "How flexible are you?" I said, "I can't make Tuesdays".



So I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (former World Chess champion) and there
was a check tablecloth.
It took him two hours to pass me the salt. He said,
"You remind me of a pepper-pot", I said "I'll take
that as a condiment".



Do you know I've got a friend who's fallen in love
with two schoolbags, he's bisatchel?


But I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase. I can
hardly contain myself.



Now you know those trick candles that you blow out and
a couple of seconds later they come alight again, well
the other day there was a fire at the factory that
makes them.



So I said, "Do you want a game of Darts?" he said "OK
then", I said, "Nearest to bull starts". He said
"Baa", I said "Moo", he said, "You're closest".



You see I'm against hunting, in fact I'm a hunt
saboteur. I go out the night before and shoot the fox.




The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of
snow. I rang her up, I said, "Do you get my drift?"



So I went down the local supermarket, I said "I want
to make a complaint, this vinegar's got lumps in it",
he said, "Those are pickled onions".



So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came
up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle
like diamonds". I said "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC
duck".



But I'm in great mood tonight because the other day I
entered a competition and I won a years supply of
marmite .. one jar.



Now did you know that if a stick insect laid its eggs
in a jar of marmite it would give birth to a litter of twiglets?



So this bloke says to me, "Can I come in your house
and talk about your carpets?" I thought, "That's all I
need, a Je-hoover's witness".



You see my next door neighbour worships exhaust pipes,
he's a catholic converter. > > >


So I rang up British Telecom, I said, "I want to
report a nuisance caller" he said "Not you again".


Now did you know all male tennis players are witches, for example Goran, even he's a witch?


So I was in Tesco's and I saw this man and woman
wrapped in a barcode. I said "Are you two an item?"

And my personal favourite

So a lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload
of terrapins, I thought, "That's a turtle disaster".

M... aaaaaaaaaah M, I have always held you and your intellect in the highest esteem my very good friend... please let us not lower the bar, I can see another of my "idols" may have clay feet? Naw, just a caught up in the moment... right?

[ISneezeFunny]

I'm going to push these kids onto the street. I really will. God help me.

[HistorianChick]

Sneezy dear... "No touchy!" Get yourself an Americano with an extra shot and take a deep breath. :)