[hjpan]

Nice Zooo

Only if my life was not full of sh*t

[hjpan]

Hey guys & girls..

I guess you are all right. I should forget my ex & be just friends. For some odd reason, she LIED to me about taking her classes online; she told me straight forward that she's moving to the college campus...

*sigh* fuq... why are girls so complicated??

[bigbird213]

Zoo,

I'm glad to hear that things seem to be going well for you. Just a word of warning, make sure you really are taking it slowly. I have been down that road and it didn't turn out the way I had planned. Just be careful and keep your eyes open.

As far as taking it slow - making love the first night isn't really slow! I hope it slows down a little more than that hah.

Keep us posted though, and keep coming back so we can help you keep a level head :)

hjpan,

If she is lying to you why do you want to be her friend? Would your other friends lie to you? I'm not sure its worth the hassle to continue trying to be this girls friend if she is going to lie to you and make you feel bad.

[hjpan]

hjpan,

If she is lying to you why do you want to be her friend? Would your other friends lie to you? I'm not sure its worth the hassle to continue trying to be this girls friend if she is going to lie to you and make you feel bad.

I do not know...

I guess so =/~ it's just so frustrating... I am caught up with classes, family, and financial issues...

[jrsg]

Congrats Zoo!
I only hope I can be telling your story soon...

[f104]

I hope it works out for you Zoo. All the best mate.

[zooropa1985]

Thanks guys, its weird but I can't shake the feeling that any minute she's going to change her mind lol its so surreal.

The main reason we are taking it slow is because we don't want to make the same mistakes again, also we don't want to spread the word and then end up breaking up again so we are keeping it to ourselves for now.

I just had to tell you guys.

Listen for what its worth you never know what the future will bring, all of us on this site deserve happiness at some point, and each of us will get it. Maybe not with the person we want right now but that only brings us one step closer to the real prize.

[bigbird213]

thanks guys, its weird but i can't shake the feeling that any minute shes goin to change her mind lol its so surreal.

Try not to let the past influence your feelings in this relationship beyond what you have learned. Don't let past events muddy your chances - though don't overlook the valuable lessons you learned during your breakup.

Go into this like it is a new relationship.

[damaged]

Hey guys... hope you're all doing well and keeping NC...
I had a little situation...
On Friday I went to the movies with aa friend and I got a called from my ex's uncle... That was weird I thought... I picked up and told him I was at the movies so w.e... that was it... On Saturday I was doing laundry and a strange number calls... I didn't pick up but they left a message.. Guess who it was?. my ex.. telling me to please listen to the message, he needed to talk to me... blah blah blah... l8r on I get a call from another strange number.. Me being the smart person that I am picked up the phone and there he was telling me to please not hang up the phone that he needed to talk to me... I said OK, then hung up... during the entire day I kept getting calls and texts.. well yesterday we talked... he said he was sorry, that he hasn't been able to sleep, he cries when he thinks about the good times, he can't forget about me, he said he knows he ed up but he wants another chance even though he knows he doesn't deserve it... He asked for another chance and he gave me my ring back (a promise ring I returned to him after we broke up).. he told me he didn't want to lose me ever again...
Im so confused!. im fine without him, but now for some reason I want to get back with him.. IDK what to do,. what do you think?

[bigbird213]

I think that he heard about you going to the movies from his uncle and he is panicking now. Not worth giving into, though I wouldn't answer the phone and lead him like that. If you must tell him then go ahead, but I think you should stick to NC.

[NorthernNiceGuy]

That's a tough one damaged... BB may be right but its really hard to say. You really have to ask yourself what you want on this one. You have mentioned before that when you have reflected on your relationship that this was for the best, I know you care for him and still love him but if you were to get back with him would it be for the right reasons or more for comfort?

Think with your head and not with your heart when you make your decision. I was with a bunch of friends last night and my ex called and texted me quite a few times saying she needed me right now, and had to talk to me. Part of me wanted to walk away from my friends and call her back but I said no to myself... You weren't there for me when I needed you so why should I leave my friends for you. Don't forget what they have done to us... now that they are sweating bullets because they think we are moving on they want us to be there for them, selfish really.

Also, if you did get back with him do you think it would ever be the same. To me there has already been way too much damage for me to ever trust and be happy with her again.

[bigbird213]

Also, if you did get back with him do you think it would ever be the same. To me there has already been way too much damage for me to ever trust and be happy with her again.

You have to be 100% honest with yourself. At times I can think that her coming back and us living happily ever after would be the best thing ever. Problem is, that would never happen. The trust is gone, the relationship wouldn't be the same.

Too much damage done.

[hjpan]

@ damaged:

Guys can be clingy and wanting, but when the relationship starts... they will be different.

[classicrocker]

Also, if you did get back with him do you think it would ever be the same. To me there has already been way too much damage for me to ever trust and be happy with her again.

I'm Also in that same boat. I care and Love her but, she did things never forgetable and broke my trust to no end... the unfortinate truth...

[hjpan]

im Also in that same boat. I care and Love her but, she did things never forgetable and broke my trust to no end...the unfortinate truth...

classicrocker, I'm going to SD on the 27th & LA on the 28th..

Hopefully, I can greet you~ lol

[Numb]

No clue where to begin and what to say... been so many months since I have checked this forum and today, while I was searching the net, one of the results had this forum's link and it brought back the bad memories yet, a strange smile got drawn on my face when I re-read my posts and saw my NC thread after almost a year :)

Not sure if anyone of those who posted under this topic re-posted again after fully and totally getting over the whole thing, so I thought that maybe I'd share a thing or two with you all, in case it might be of some help to anyone.

My NC period became a strong castle and yes, I carried on with it the day I started this thread and it was the best thing I have ever done to overcome the pain.
A lot of people advice you doing new things, going out, having fun etc... yet we all know it won't really help first. What I did is that I used "Post It" to carry on with my NC and that was the only thing that kept me going with it (of course beside the great help from all the people in here). I wrote on 6-7 "Post It" the following "No Contact You Idiot" and spread them all over the things I see/use the most (PC screen, stereo, phone, on my bed, bathroom mirror etc.. ). It was hard, I tried dating, going out and lots of other things, but nothing really healed the wound. It was all a matter of time... I accepted the NC strategy and had to carry on despite how badly I missed her. I trusted time and time did indeed take care of that!!

Now I'm completely over the whole thing, re-living the single life, which I have forgotten how it tastes and just carrying on. NC saved me a lot of humiliation and helped me realize slowly that she's not worth it anymore. No contact with the ex = less emotional vagueness.

I sometimes run into my ex here and there and I don't even blink... she's still dating the same guy since she left me and getting drunk every weekend at the pub he works at, yet funny enough, it doesn't affect me. Even after 2-3 months from my NC initiation period I put myself to a test. I went to that pub she hangs in with her boy, all alone, sat there, had a few drinks, enjoyed myself and went back home as if I saw nothing.

She never contacted me nor did I and here we are. I still remember exactly how I felt when I typed that post and how it was like for me back then, it's really "funny" to re-see it again. What was an impossible thing to do back then is now nothing but "history". So you you can do it, no matter how bad it feels. It's really doable... You'd be so surprised to see what time is capable of (e.g. I really can't even recall her phone number!).

I'm still looking for a new relationship and hopefully I'll have one, someday, who knows. It's not bad at all after all being alone, so keep your chins up guys :)

Hope my post could be useful to you all! Stick to your NC! It's your own ticket for salvation, NEVER break it or compromise it no matter what! Each time you break it, things will get much more painful! STICK TO YOUR NC ;)

hey guys... hope you're all doing well and keeping NC...
i had a little situation...
On Friday i went to the movies with aa friend and i got a called from my ex's uncle... That was weird i thought... i picked up and told him i was at the movies so w.e... that was it... On Saturday i was doing laundry and a strange number calls... i didn't pick up but they left a message.. Guess who it was?. my ex.. telling me to please listen to the message, he needed to talk to me... blah blah blah... l8r on i get a call from another strange number.. Me being the smart person that i am picked up the phone and there he was telling me to please not hang up the phone that he needed to talk to me... i said OK, then hung up... during the entire day i kept getting calls and texts.. well yesterday we talked... he said he was sorry, that he hasn't been able to sleep, he cries when he thinks about the good times, he can't forget about me, he said he knows he ed up but he wants another chance even though he knows he doesn't deserve it... He asked for another chance and he gave me my ring back (a promise ring i returned to him after we broke up).. he told me he didn't want to lose me ever again...
Im so confused!. im fine without him, but now for some reason i want to get back with him.. IDK what to do,. what do u think?

I think you really have to move on and get rid, 100%, of your past relation, it will bring nothing but heart/headache.

[bigbird213]

Numb,

I'm glad to hear that you are doing well. Its amazing that you have come back and shared your success story on here with everyone. I think it is inspirational to hear from someone who is so recently out on the other side.

Not to say those who went through this decades ago don't provide valuable experience and advice, but seeing the originator of the thread, who experienced the entire thing with the help of AMHD, come back and tout how successful it really is - is just great.

Thanks :)

[hjpan]

Numb: just tell yourself that she won't have a future compared to you =]

[DazT]

WOW,

I wanted to say thanks to all you guys. The support you guys give is unbelievable. I am feeling a little better today, and much better than the mornings now that it is early evening. The mornings are what suck the most - thats for sure.

I have saved those responses with the intention of reading them next time I am feeling down. I hate to say it, but being a little angry lately helps me to get over this. I thought I was past anger and bitterness, but for now, whatever works. Instead of saying "why did she throw me away" I can say "Too bad for her she threw me away."

Thanks again guys/gals,

I needed that.

Good lad, Bigbird.

Now, the next time I come on here, talking like a big nancy boy.. I expect you to kick me up the arse :D

[bigbird213]

Good lad, Bigbird.

Now, the next time I come on here, talking like a big nancy boy.. I expect you to kick me up the arse :D

Deal :)