View Poll Results: Is the castle right? or need improvement?

adam_89 · Nov 25, 2009, 09:04 AM

Originally Posted by 88sunflower

Well its a fine time to sit her down and explain that all to her. She wont know unless you tell her. Get it out in the open.

I need to. Her Birthday is coming up in a couple weeks and then Christmas shortly after. How does she expect me to buy her anything? Haha. Yet she will probably buy me two or three hundred dollars worth of stuff. It just isn't fair, I don't even want anything. Argh. Haha

88sunflower · Nov 25, 2009, 09:05 AM

I feel for you I really truly do. I just hope when you do talk to her, and you will, she will understand what your saying.

adam_89 · Nov 25, 2009, 09:08 AM

Originally Posted by 88sunflower

I feel for you I really truly do. I just hope when you do talk to her, and you will, she will understand what your saying.

I can only hope. I love her to death but I am one who stresses about money a lot. That is the only thing that I don't like in our relationship. Thanks for the sympathy Sunny,

88sunflower · Nov 25, 2009, 09:13 AM

Originally Posted by adam_89

I can only hope. I love her to death but I am one who stresses about money alot. That is the only thing that I don't like in our relationship. Thanks for the sympathy Sunny,

I am the same way. I used to stress so bad. I did all the bills and banking. My husband just had a debit card and handed me his receipts. I could tell him we are broke and it was a given he would go spend more. Or he would just open the mail and toss the bills about on the table like he didn't care it wasn't his concern. HA! Not any more. We have since done some changes and he pays everything. I pay cable, phone, internet and my Jeep. I cover the daycare cost also. He gets the rest. Which is a good load. But now he sees where I have been coming from for all these years. Even if we don't keep it this way it's a great eye opener for him. When I say we are broke, then we are broke. Simple as that.

adam_89 · Nov 25, 2009, 09:18 AM

Originally Posted by 88sunflower

I am the same way. I used to stress so bad. I did all the bills and banking. My husband just had a debit card and handed me his receipts. I could tell him we are broke and it was a given he would go spend more. Or he would just open the mail and toss the bills about on the table like he didnt care it wasnt his concern. HA! Not any more. We have since done some changes and he pays everything. I pay cable, phone, internet and my Jeep. I cover the daycare cost also. He gets the rest. Which is a good load. But now he sees where I have been coming from for all these years. Even if we dont keep it this way its a great eye opener for him. When I say we are broke, then we are broke. Simple as that.

That would be so nice. I'm thinking all the bills I have are my house, my 2 store credit cards, Electric bill, Water bill, cable bill, car insurance, Phone bill, & Loan payment. I pay it all. I would be happy to get a few off my load. I wonder what her reaction is going to be when I ask her to take a few bills. It is only fair right?

88sunflower · Nov 25, 2009, 09:26 AM

Originally Posted by adam_89

That would be so nice. I'm thinking all the bills I have are my house, my 2 store credit cards, Electric bill, Water bill, cable bill, car insurance, Phone bill, & Loan payment. I pay it all. I would be happy to get a few off my load. I wonder what her reaction is going to be when I ask her to take a few bills. It is only fair right?

Yes its fair. I support you 100% and I think you need to talk to her. Your not out of line at all about this. I can't believe she hasn't offered.
Keep your chin up. Maybe she just didn't realize it.

adam_89 · Nov 25, 2009, 09:29 AM

Originally Posted by 88sunflower

Yes its fair. I support you 100% and I think you need to talk to her. Your not out of line at all about this. I can't believe she hasnt offered.
Keep your chin up. Maybe she just didnt realize it.

If I am lucky all will go well, and she will be like, I didn't think of it like that and we will have our plan. Or it could backfire. The worst case scenerio is that she says no and I kick her out and tell her I can't support her!

Unknown008 · Nov 25, 2009, 09:33 AM

You can also tell her that you don't want to have any christmas gift, before your bills problems are fixed and that you're comfortable with the flow of money in and out of the house. Just a suggestion. My mom for example has asked her brothers (who happen to be businessmen who earn... erm... quite a lot) not to give birthday or christmas gifts anymore. That saves some time, the time that we had to choose original gifts every year and extra expenses.

Up to now, it works. After all, we need what we need, the things that people give us are only 'secondary' if we remove the most important part of it, that is the intention behind it. (well, except if that gift comes to be really helpful)

88sunflower · Nov 25, 2009, 09:44 AM

Oh you tell her to pay such and such as a gift to you. Then maybe that can open the discussion easier.

adam_89 · Nov 25, 2009, 09:45 AM

Thanks Unky, I will try that. In my family we all decided to do a secret Santa. Should save a lot of money instead of spending 3 times as much on the whole family.

Unknown008 · Nov 25, 2009, 09:45 AM

Originally Posted by 88sunflower

Oh ya tell her to pay such and such as a gift to you. Then maybe that can open the discussion easier.

I think I forgot to say hi to you... Hi Sunny!

Yup, lol, you got a better point that me! :) :p

adam_89 · Nov 25, 2009, 09:46 AM

Originally Posted by 88sunflower

Oh ya tell her to pay such and such as a gift to you. Then maybe that can open the discussion easier.

That could definitely work and is definitely a possibility. I got to do something!

88sunflower · Nov 25, 2009, 09:46 AM

Going to lunch dudes. I need the gym today. Much frustration built up inside and I am going to work that weight room like a crazy woman.

Talk with you all in a bit. If for some reason I don't make it back I hope you all have a great Thanksgiving with who ever your spending it with.

redhed35 · Nov 25, 2009, 09:47 AM

When is thanksgiving?

adam_89 · Nov 25, 2009, 09:50 AM

Thanksgiving is tomorrow Red!

Unknown008 · Nov 25, 2009, 09:50 AM

Apparently this Thursday.

Bye Sunny! Have a good workout at the gym and a good lunch! :)

adam_89 · Nov 25, 2009, 10:03 AM

All right I am going to get me some lunch. See you guys in a bit.

adam_89 · Nov 25, 2009, 10:06 AM

You know what I wonder? How many people we break up here on this site? Makes you wonder doesn't it?

redhed35 · Nov 25, 2009, 10:07 AM

Thanksgiving is tomorrow!

Oh no,I'm not ready,and I'm working,no nice dinner or presents ready,it's a disaster...

Oh well.. the kids will understand.

redhed35 · Nov 25, 2009, 10:10 AM

Originally Posted by adam_89

You know what I wonder? How many people we break up here on this site? Makes ya wonder doesn't it?

ADAM! Bless yourself and turn around 3 times...

I would not worry about it...

The majority that post are looking for comfirmation for what they already know in their hearts,the ones that do get back together,well,we were just a sounding wall for their pain or confusion.

I have an exam tonight... why why am I not studying..

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