[emopunk7]

The gym is good. I went running today for 30 min. I will go tomorrow at 2pm and do a long heavy workout to feel the burn again. I finally finished my room. Pictures soon. Thanks for asking. How have you been doing?

[vanheart]

Emo, Im glad that you are taking the proper steps.

Keep it up. It's a road to recovery.

While you are working your body & getting your breathing back, take a look at your post title. "I dont trust" .

Do some soul searching, buddy. You will be amazed at the person you didn't was inside.

[amicon]

Sounds like your doing good,keeping yourself busy!
Way to go!
( I'm good thanks.)

[emopunk7]

Vanheart, I just couldn't trust her after she lied 4 times so some people just can't be trusted but I will work on that for another girl. I hope I can find someone nice that I like and can work well with me. I miss having a girlfriend.

[emopunk7]

Hi ex. I'm sorry we didn't work out and as hard as I try to be strong it still hurts that we broke up. We could go out at any time and we always said yes for each other to do anything. We had such great moments. We both looked cute together and the spontaneous nights and days. I go over nearly every detail from the last 3 and a half years and wish so many little things differently. Like the time canoeing on the Delaware and it rained and you were crying because you were so scared, I wish I can save you again and be so nice and take care of you again. But you hurt me while I was constantly trying so hard to make you happy. I took my chances to stay true and be the best for you while you took chances going out behind my back. And as much as I want to hate you for that I understand we are human and make mistakes and it's probably why I didn't dump you. I'm sorry for doing it back to teach a lesson but I really didn't know what else to do. You really hurt me and this situation I'm in now sucks because it just does. This is the fourth time I've cried since we broke up. I've missed your scent and laying close to you. But I'm trying to move on and it just hurts. I really don't know how other people do it. I'm trying to find out. I want to say I love you but I can't because I have to move on. I wish you didn't dump me and if it bothered you so much we could have spoken about it. I did apologize and I wouldve never done it again just like I never did other things again. I gave you many chances lying, so why couldn't I get a chance? I saw a picture of you today and you looked mean and not so pretty and it made me feel better and I told myself maybe that can help me move on but tonight my feelings don't care for what that picture said and it still wants you close. I don't know what else to say. I just want to say that I really did try my best and I never ever took you for granted. I wouldve loved you forever and I really hope you become successful and I wish you the best in life and thank you for the memories. Good bye.

[emopunk7]

I'm sooooooooo sad! Why is this happening? I can't stop crying.

[amicon]

If that post was a goodbye letter-fair do.
And maybe that's what caused your tears.

Now try to stop going over all the details-all the who said what to whom and when and how.
By doing that,you allow the pain,the sorrow and the hurt to stay with you.

How do others get over their exes you ask?
By keeping busy,by actively working on healing and by not running down memory lane every week.

You to can do this,please DO it.

[smoothy]

Um... do I even need to say how pathetic that makes you look if you composed that to send to her.

She doesn't deserve the time that took to write... and seriously man-up.

She proved she wasn't worthy of your time or respect much less anything else.

Time to be a man... deal with it... shut her out completely and march ahead.

It will take some discipline but you need to show the maturity to do it.

Adults have to do many things that they don't want to do.. don't like to do.. and at times, is very stressful to do. Wait until you have to bury a parent... if you can't deal with a loser b*tch... how will you deal with something really hard, like having to bury a parent?

Sorry to be harsh... and Blunt, but Jeezus H Christ dude... we are at page 80 and you still fixate on someone who clearly doesn't want or care about you.

Pretend she doesn't exist... pretend she never existed... move ahead, and move on. Or you AREN'T going to find a new girlfriend. Women don't like guys that mope around and feel sorry about themselves, or get obsessed.

Do you want to move on... or do you want to create a self fulfilling prophecy? Be alone and stuck in the past?

[JudyKayTee]

794 posts later and Smoothy has summed it up beautifully - time to man up! Want to end the pain quickly? Actually send this to the ex. She'll read it word by word, line by line, to all of her friends. They'll pass it along. The "we both looked cute together" and "spontaneous days and nights" parts will be favorites. Embarrassment alone will end the relationship.

80 pages, 795 posts - time to close. OP just doesn't get it.

[emopunk7]

JudyKateTee can you please refrain from posting? I'm going through a rough time and you are not helping so why post? Its only been 3 and a half months... im almost there. I will do this. It takes people 8 months or some longer. I'm doing good I think. Sometimes I have to vent and last night I felt like writing that. I don't think there's anything wrong with that. I'm not sending it to her but I wrote it here as my journal. Something that helps. Please just refrain from posting here because everybody else has been helping. If I was here till next year then surely I need help but I am just dealing with this as best as I can. Last night was a bit hard and if you can't understand what I am going through then please don't post.

[smoothy]

Emopunk7

I see you continuously rehashing the past... continuously reliving what was... continuously appearing to think that if you knew what went wrong you can go back and change it and go back to a relationship that never was what you envisioned in your mind.

Because you do this... and as long as you do this you will continue to be stuck in the rut you are in.

It's a hard lesson, but the best way to get over that is to simply put it behind you. Now if you have to demonize her in your mind to do it, then do it... but constantly thinking about her, theorizing what went wrong, thinking about what you could have done differently just prolongs the pain...

It really is this simple... Some people were never really meant to be together... plain and simple.

This is one of those cases.


Sitting around thinking woe is me... only takes a one month recovery and makes it into a 6 month or longer one.

You have to take do what you have to do... however distasteful as it appears.

[JudyKayTee]

Please don't attempt to control who will post and in what manner.

No one is here to blindly support you - if what is posted hurts, maybe that's because it's the truth and you don't want to hear it. Alty (in particular) has held your hand for 796 posts.

Some people never get over "it." Maybe that's the point of what's been posted. Do you want to be one of those people?

Maybe you do. Maybe you enjoy wallowing in self pity.

This is not a blog or a chat room so your journal entries are inappropriate. I note you never mentioned this was part of a "journal," that you didn't intend to mail it, until I replied.

And, by the way, I've been there, done that. We've all been betrayed, had bad breakups, wondered where to go from "here." Seems to me we've all moved on.

[emopunk7]

First of al Alty just came in about 50 posts ago but nonetheless Thank God. She is very good. My journal entries are not inappropriate as I have been told to post anything even poetry to keep moving on and sticking to no contact. I don't know why you are being so tough with your words when this is not personally affecting you. I am simply trying to move on. Maybe I am doing it wrong and sorry for that and sorry if its annoying to some. This last month I've seen a lot of light at the end of the tunnel and I know it only gets better. I have some bad days. I am not here everyday like I used to and some days I just come to help others. I know you are all confident in that I will continue NC and are now focusing on my mind and I thank you. Well I am human and all I can do is what I have been doing. Trying my best to move on. I am not obsessed as I don't even drive by her house which is 4 minutes away. I never go where she is and I try dealing with my thoughts as best as possible. Although I can understand how frustrated you may be at times because I myself am frustrated. These thoughts are haunting. I will watch a movie now. Wishing for better days.

[smoothy]

Emopunk... do you honestly think even one person here hasn't been through this EXACT thing at least several times before?

We aren't being mean by pointing out that you aren't the first person to go through this... and you aren't.

Obsession can take many forms... stalking is only one.

Look at it from my perspective... see what I see as another guy.

I see a guy that got dumped on by a girl (not a woman) who treated him like crap... but he never saw it until fairly late... and even while he does see it now... he hasn't come to terms with it yet many months later.

Rather than walking away... literally not just figuratively he keeps talking about her, thinking about her all the while pouting and moping that he doesn't have a girlfriend.

Here is a newsflash... as long as you continue ot do that you aren't going to get a new girlfriend either... none worth having anyway. Its about the biggest turnoff to women there is.

This is life... she isn't the first and won't be the last either... because honestly... you don't have the right frame of mind to see the right one when you do meet her at this stage in your life. You honestly have a lot of emotional maturing to do yet.

Its not like she was miss perfect who tragically died suddenly... she was a user and abuser who doesn't deserve to be idolized.

So what do you do... simple... do what most people do... they seek out the people most compatible with them... everyone isn't... if you find they aren't you leave and find another. Eventually you WILL meet the right one... who you date or not doesn't define who you are... its what you do and how you act that does.

But to sum it up... if all you do is think about her... I hate to tell you, that IS obsessing.

Driving by her house... etc... at this stage is actually stalking, and is illegal.

How many have I dated.. fallen in love with and had a falling out due to poor choices in my youth? Well if you know please tell me ( I honestly can't remember) because I lost count before I eventually found the right one and got married. I go years... without even thinking of any specific girl I ever dated in the past. Hell, I've actually forgotten the names of some.

[reckless]

I was just as desperate and sad as you, maybe even more. I typed 70 pages about her. Now that's ridiculous. For the first three months I was super depressed. I hardly ate and felt like my heart had been torn out. You know, when your insides turn to ash?

By month four I had found a new girlfriend, but expected her to be exactly the same as my ex. She could never be as good because I had put my ex on a pedestal too high for anyone to reach. I over exaggerated and thought my ex was perfect.

My new girlfriend was my rebound and coincidentally I was hers. Of course we didn't work out and broke up.

I was too busy trying to find a replacement instead of learning how to live on my own. Well I finally found one... and it's myself. I used to think about my ex every night before I went to sleep, but now I just think about myself and say, "Hey...I love me." Try it some time. I know it sounds narcissistic but I learned how to really do it. I'm just fine being single.

I'm at the seven month mark now, but I know that if I called her just once I might ruin all the progress I've made. Don't make the same mistakes as me. We've all been through this and that's what brought us here to this board.

If any of us are harsh it's because we care and want you to finally come to your senses. Don't make the same mistakes as us.

[none12345]

Hey Emo, lol that's sounds a little weird calling you that but yah I've just read the last few post of your's.

Yup you are right, it actually gets better little by little. So you're in your 3 months of NC? I was in a similar situation as you and during the 3rd month of NC I was a mess. It took me a whole summer to get better because during that time I just busy myself in crazy work schedules.

Been working like 50 hours a week man and by the end of the summer I was like who cares about my ex anymore. Im pretty sure by the end of this summer you ll be back to your normal self again. It took me about 11 months to get over my ex of 1 year/friend of 3 years before dating.

So yup it's a long journey but in the end it will all be worth it man.

[JudyKayTee]

Trying my best to move on. I am not obsessed as I don't even drive by her house which is 4 minutes away.

Driving past her house is most definitely not the only sign a person is obsessed. Are you reading anything that's being written to you?

[emopunk7]

Yes I am JudyKateTee and just going through the process and appreciate the help. Its all I can do. Its all anyone can do. I am trying my best but willing to push further!

[emopunk7]

Hey None12345, I know its rough and this isn't the first time I go through this. I've gotten over my ex after about 5 months before but I think that's only because I started a relationship with her again. It felt right. Big mistake but not entirely as I appreciate the good times and experience. I hope that by the 5 month mark I will be in a better state of mind and busier in a fun way. Considering I have made great progress in 3 months, I'm guessing by 5 months I should be in a much better place. I'm heading to work soon. Feeling better but not my best.

[emopunk7]

I am trying my best to move on and today as down I feel and would rather stay home, I think its time to get out. For the first time in 4 months I am going to go out dancing and change the routine. Kind of excited and kind of not but here goes nothing. Wish me luck for a good night. I usually only did this with my ex so it's a bit strange. Here we go.