[emopunk7]

Wow... Now you get to make the decisions... Good job although I can see how hard it is. I wish I can tell you which would be better, but I doubt anybody would know that answer... I guess this part is up to you. I hope you make the best decision. I'm pretty sure you will pick your ex because she has everything to the tee and you got her to come back which means she must really care. So good luck! I guess you have some comparing to do... lol

[talaniman]

Do you think it's a coincidence that you meet someone and now she wnts you to be around her? Could she see you slipping away and is actually competing for your attention? Could she be trying to make you stop seeing this other girl? Could this big move be a smokescreen, to make you miss her? Lots of questions, and I only can suggest you not do anything, until you have some very clear answers.

[emopunk7]

T-Man... Aren't very clear answers only answers that are trustworthy? In that case, are there clear answers at all? The smokescreen is always around. This world is full of illusions! Everything relies on the eye of the beholder. We all go in to everything blind and hoe for the best. A choice must be made by Andyman and a tough one as well which will affect his life. Andyman, I think a second chance to the reconciled woman would be a good idea because she seems really sorry for everything, but is all this trustworthy? Choosing the new girl is also a good idea to start something fresh... One choice brings back the hard work and the rough times and betrayal and lies and even thinking another guy is cute and so much that will play in your brain for time to come. She messed it up. Too much to worry about. The second seems more relaxing and new... So the choice is yours... Good luck!

[sand32]

I am a woman, and it sounds to me like she got the last minute jitters. She is afraid of being hurt and wants some space 1st, that's all. She wants to go a little slower now.

[MishcaParker]

:) Your girlfriend is very young and whilst some people are emotionally ready to settle into a committed relationship young, it is very clear from what you have written, she is not. I would expect she has not resolved her feelings regarding her past relationships nor does she understand that during our our early to mid teens, relationships are new to us and they are learning experience. Whilst I realise it will be painful to let her go, she needs to find her independence, identity, party, meet new people and try new things. Do you really want to continue a relationship who is not ready? Do you want to be in a relationship which is destined to fail? Let her go and she will either return to you, ready for a committed relationship or she will move on, which would prove your relationship was destined to be short and sweet. Sorry to hear of your heartache, wishing you well.

[talaniman]

Sometimes the dumper needs time, and space to heal also.
one confused person+ another confused person=a confused relationship.

[emopunk7]

To hell with the dumper!

[Geoffersonairplane]

Whilst I realise it will be painful to let her go, she needs to find her independence, identity, party, meet new people and try new things. Do you really want to continue a relationship who is not ready? Do you want to be in a relationship which is destined to fail? Let her go

See..

I was in a relationship for 3 years with a girl like this when she was 20 when she left me and I was 6 years older (oh, and still am, unless I'm growing younger>LOL) That was quite an age difference that I did not acknowledge at the time. After the breakup, I really understood how big a factor this is in terms of how long the relationship will last.

When I met her, I was 23 and she was only 17, I managed to keep the relationship going for 3 years but there were signs that things were crumbling, they were all there to see but I was too much in denial to acknowledge them. I cared too much for her to believe that she was drifting away.

She told me she wished she was single again and she could go out and basically have fun, not that she did not have fun with me but what she wanted was to spread her wings, explore, sad to say but wanted to date different men and I am 100% certain of this. Once I realised that actually this is normal, can I blame her for wanting to experience life, for wanting to grow? No, because I have been there and unfortunately (or fortunately>LOL) I met her at the wrong time in life.

The difference in age had she been 30 and I 36 would not have mattered but the age gap when I was 26 and she was 20 was a huge difference. I was not the same man at 20 that I am now, I was still the good man I am but had much to learn (and in fact, still do).

Life is a huge learning experience and I think that if you are past the age of 25, then you should find someone who has gone through the whole being single, partying, wild phase and find someone that is at the same maturity level as you.

I know that I am looking (well not actively looking) for a woman like that. In fact, I learned so much about what I want in a woman from my ex and for that I am grateful to her, not angry anymore, just more glad that I know what it is I want from a relationship.

If I never meet my miss right, then as sad as it may be, so be it, I would rather be alone (well not completely alone but single you know) than be in a relationship with someone I do not want to be with or does not want to be with more or who does not know what she wants. I do yearn (although don't need) deep down though for the day I meet a woman that will appreciate me for who I am.

[Jiser]

People are ready at different stages in their life. Some have to go through their 'wild stage' others don't. I would love to be able to go round and sleep with lots of different attractive women simply for fun and know I have the confidence to do so. But in reality that's not the person I am.

It's a shame that people who have to leave a relationship to experience 'life.' I would probably have to say though that one day your dumper will look back and say 'god, he/she was a good guy/girl, I am with a good guy/bad girl/guy now, but he/she was so good to me and I wish I had never let him/her go.'

By then though time would have passed, both of you would have changed, happy memories in the past for ever lost in oblivion. But hey your happily married now, two great kids, a good job, life is great and hey there's allot of s_h_t to go through still yet! Affairs? Family breakdowns, disease, death, money... LOL hey the worlds your oyster go take!

[aaron80]

??

[talaniman]

To hell with the dumper!

Wait until you are the dumper. :eek:

[emopunk7]

I know I know...