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Gullyver · Aug 10, 2013, 04:47 PM

Why do use the word spying?

Gullyver · Aug 10, 2013, 04:50 PM

Originally Posted by talaniman

And spying on her thru friends is a good idea?

... well I didn't really ask, I know the friend whom went to hospital and so she told me that my ex went with her, so I didn't need to ask

... but even if I want to have news what's so wrong in asking about her?

Wondergirl · Aug 10, 2013, 04:52 PM

Originally Posted by Gullyver

...but even if I want to have news what's so wrong in asking about her?

Because guess who it will get back to, that you were asking about her? Good way to keep things plodding along.

talaniman · Aug 10, 2013, 04:54 PM

2nd hand contact keeps a connection alive. Contact by proxy, therefore false.

Gullyver · Aug 10, 2013, 04:55 PM

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

Because guess who it will get back to, that you were asking about her? Good way to keep things plodding along.

I have not asked about her at all

The info was volunteered by the friend without I had to ask anything...

So at the end I didn't respond back twice and didn't ask about her, not too bad

Wondergirl · Aug 10, 2013, 04:57 PM

Originally Posted by Gullyver

I have not asked about her at all

the info was volunteered by the friend without I had to ask anything.....

You said, "... but even if I want to have news what's so wrong in asking about her?"

And you listened and were interested. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!

Gullyver · Aug 10, 2013, 04:59 PM

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

But you listened and were interested. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!!!

..?. and so what..?

Of course I listened and was interested to listen, she was my girlfriend up to 4 weeks ago... do you find it so strange?

... so what would you have done different from what I did?

Wondergirl · Aug 10, 2013, 05:01 PM

Originally Posted by Gullyver

do you find it so strange?

Yes, yes, and yes. Totally wrong call. You should have held up your hand, said "Stop!!! I do not want to even HEAR about her!"

Now you've got her with ears up again.

Gullyver · Aug 10, 2013, 05:07 PM

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

Yes, yes, and yes. Totally wrong call. You should have held up your hand, said "Stop!!! I do not want to even HEAR about her!"

Now you've got her with ears up again.

Totally wrong call? To my friend who went to hospital? And why? I called to ask how she was and if she had anyone accompanying her in case she needed and did not ask anything about her...

But I still fail to see your point though??

What do you mean by I 've got her up ears up again?

I am going on my way, the one I decided to choose for now and I am sticking to it regardless of what she does so doing well I suppose

Wondergirl · Aug 10, 2013, 05:11 PM

Originally Posted by Gullyver

what do you mean by I 've got her up ears up again?

What did you comment about your ex accompanying her friend?

Gullyver · Aug 10, 2013, 05:14 PM

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

What did you comment about your ex accompanying her friend?

Pretty much nothing

Also that friend is an old friend of mine I trust even if I had asked

What would you have done different? I think if I had done like you suggested (NO DON'T WANT EVEN EAR ABOUT HER>.. ) it would have been worst because I would have showed feelings instead.. don't you think so?

Wondergirl · Aug 10, 2013, 05:18 PM

Originally Posted by Gullyver

pretty much nothing

"When I mentioned to him that you had accompanied me to the hospital, his eyes got bigger and he started to smile. I'm sure he's still crazy about you."

Gullyver · Aug 10, 2013, 05:25 PM

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

"When I mentioned to him that you had accompanied me to the hospital, his eyes got bigger and he started to smile. I'm sure he's still crazy about you."

Ha ha ha good one but there are some discrepancies here in what you say...

First she couldn't say so because she couldn't see me... so no bigger eyes... and no smile (also I didn't smile) over the mobile... simply not credible enough because invented...

... then if she said so (I'm sure he's still crazy about you) that may only increase doubts or regrets in her (eventually) if she has any... but I don't expect so from her

... hence so far I go on with my intentions

... I think I have done the right thing considering how she has been treating me in the last 4 weeks since she suddenly break up without a word of explanation...

talaniman · Aug 10, 2013, 05:27 PM

I see you both playing game through a friend and keeping feelings stirred up through drama and intrigue. Cheating on NC, only cheats YOU!!

Gullyver · Aug 10, 2013, 05:28 PM

Originally Posted by talaniman

I see you both playing game thru a friend and keeping feelings stirred up thru drama and intrigue. Cheating on NC, only cheats YOU!!!

My gut feeling that she would call me back after the sudden, unexplained break up with no clues or explanation of why she wanted to break up after 2 years was right then...

Wondergirl · Aug 10, 2013, 05:34 PM

Originally Posted by Gullyver

ha ha ha good one but there are some discrepancies here in what you say...

The mutual friend is female?

Gullyver · Aug 11, 2013, 03:15 AM

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

The mutual friend is female?

Yes, she is a good old friend of mine, a lovely lady 20 years older than both of us. I have known her for long time while she was introduced to my ex last March

Originally Posted by talaniman

2nd hand contact keeps a connection alive. Contact by proxy, therefore false.

In life nothing happen without reason

The 'third link' or 2nd hand contact' is there for a reason

Either to teach me another hers lesson (if I make mistakes from now on) or else

It's up to me and to my wisdom to learn more and do the right things I must do

Gullyver · Aug 11, 2013, 06:44 AM

When we suffer some misfortune, we tend to imagine that no one could possibly be as unhappy or as unfortunate.

It's easy to drown in self-pity and turn a blind eye to everyone and everything else. But dwelling on our own pain or discontent and hopelessness only causes our life force to wane even further.

It is at such times that we need to rekindle our connections with others, to be concerned for their struggles. In doing so we discover a renewed strength and the will to live.

talaniman · Aug 11, 2013, 07:01 AM

Drop the philosophy and do NC the correct way and build a life that you enjoy without her. Good Orderly Direction requires ACTIONS, not analysis.

Gullyver · Aug 11, 2013, 07:08 AM

Originally Posted by talaniman

Drop the philosophy and do NC the correct way and build a life that you enjoy without her. Good Orderly Direction requires ACTIONS, not analysis.

Good day talaniman,

How are you today?

Philosophy or life beliefs as you want to call them can become actions if we act upon it and apply it to our daily life, decisions determinations

Yesterday I felt and still feel full of positive energy , I am grateful to life as I had a great day, enjoyed myself,
Yes my mind was often... flying to her popping often to interrupt my peaceful day but overall it was a good day, went out on my motorbike with a new ( pretty) girl (just friends for now) and relaxed a lot.

Yes, despite the inner sorrow I am feeling I must be grateful to the new opportunities to change and become a strong person thanks to this challenge in life...

My way is trying to be always positive and in this hard time stop one moment to list all the positive things left in your life and about yourself, recognize them and make them the leverage of your changes to come and be grateful about them...

I believe in being active, do not stagnate in your pain , keep on moving, make new friends, read about science, philosophy, love relationships (or whatever it interests you) and enjoy life , the best things to recover (at least for me)

I feel so much stronger in the last 24 hours because I am focusing on MYSELF and MY LIFE and not on her or us...

Accordingly I try my best to have a great day today, not expecting anything from the other side and if anything happen I will stick to my decisions