[amazing]

Hi again Krs,

I can't help but wonder how this whole situation arose? It would take a woman of pure steel to openly show signs of interest she has in your husband, but what puzzles me is that no woman would dare do anything like this if it was all self-induced?? - this would imply that she suffers from an obsessive personality disorder and/or that she is mentally unbalanced in some way shape or form.

I can't see her having done what she did without there being some element of your husband who had indirectly without meaning to, given the indication that her flirtations are okay. Men even married ones, can and do admire other women in subtle and less obvious ways and sometimes without their wives knowledge. This wouldn't mean to say that he did this knowingly to hurt you or to cause any stress in your relationship, but often we take it for granted that are partners are meant to be faithful to the last core of their being. If only it worked like this!

I have known married men to have flirted with other married women and single women and is a common problem in many marriages and is not a unique thing but isn't something for you to get upset about if it is you he is with and sleeps with ever night. He clearly loves you to be with you. But a wandering eye from time to time happens to lots of us without there being any real meaning to what we do. I am single and so it is okay and I am female, but I know married men and I like one of them very much and he flirts outrageously with me without his wife even knowing he does this. I don't do it back anymore but he is a very attractive man and women will look at him. I guess what I am trying to say if you will have the patience to listen to me, is that all men look at other women married or not.

I am pretty convinced that your husband had inadvertently flirted (not knowingly) with this women who likes him and is attracted to him and felt safe enough to send the message to him because he gave the indication that somehow this was okay? Maybe wanting you to find out if for instance, you are not in a particularly passionate marriage? Some married men do things to get their wives attention and this is one example I have come across before and hence the reason why I have suggested it to you. This doesn't make what the woman did acceptable at all, but she only did what she felt was okay to do given your husband's own body language of approval perhaps? You can't just assume that she did this without a cause at all because in fact, it does sound far too outrageous to think of it like that.

Why risk her own marriage on a crush? Women are not stupid and wouldn't do something like what she did without there being a point or objective to it. Unless she is mentally ill, I can't see how she would do something like this for apparently no real good reason at all. It would take a very stupid woman to do something like text her friend's husband asking him to have dreams about her (It seems a little bizarre to me) . I can't help but see this situation in a much broader light and because there are too many gaps in what I am seeing and hearing. Something preceded this act of sabotage towards your marriage and it didn't start with the text message - there is more to this because there has to be.

If you don't read my post and ignore it like the last one, then it proves my point - you are ignorant to what you want to hear or see and why women like you live in castles in the air thinking that their husbands are their knights and can do no wrong and therefore, the whole world is to blame but not him. Wake up and smell the coffee and get real - your husband isn't a saint and can't protect your insecurities always when he has his own vulnerabilities and faults like everyone else does.

I am not being mean, but realistic and sure hope you can see this for yourself?

[Geoffersonairplane]

I hear an echo...

A well known member here quotes often: " women want what they can't have - - - ALWAYS and like a challenge."

Could this be what is happening here with the so called friend?

[Krs]

Hi Amazing! I appreciate your honestly, but I don't appricate you calling me arrogant.

I believe no one is perfect, nor am I, and nor is my husband. But how dare you say he flirted with this women when you don't even know my husband. My husband isn't a flirt... I know when I see a man flirt, and he isn't 1 of those married men... he talks to females.. but there is a grand difference between chatting and flirting! So I'm a 100% sure that he gave no evidence of interest to this women.

You don't know half the story. My husband has known this women for 15 years. She WAS married my my hubby's best friend.. she isn't anymore, she left him! My husband always thought highly of her and so did I. When she was married she was a different person with different morals.. Once she left her husband she changed... and things with her now are... (for example) "oh its only sex" "oh its only skin" and everything is only this and only that.. Her values don't compare to the values me and my husband have. We are a team, she WAS a friend that went overboard.

Also if there was any hint of flirtation from my husband's side... then why on earth would he have told ME his wife about this message?? And another thing she didn't ask my husband to have dreams about her, if you read my post properly she said she had a yum yum dream about him!!

I didn't ignore your other post.. again if you looked closer you would have seen that I actually DID answer you on page 5 of this thread!!

I am in a very passionate marriage. He is my best friend, my lover, my life!
You can't jump to conclusions just because married men flirted with you!

[tickle]

I would definitely have words with her just to let her know your guy told you all about it. That may make her think twice the next time. Yes, she definitely is flirting but does he NEED to tell you more ?

[Krs]

I would definitely have words with her just to let her know your guy told you all about it. That may make her think twice the next time. Yes, she definitely is flirting but does he NEED to tell you more ?

Oh I have ;)

What do u mean "but does he NEED to tell you more"?

[Krs]

Its been 5 weeks of no contact.
I obviously have not bothered to mail her... she has done the same.

She is no friend, she denied that text message, if she were a real friend she would have mailed... well I isn't missing nothing, am I?

[Krs]

Hey guys, need some advice!

The girlfriend of this so call called friends ex-husband is asking me what's up between us?

Shall I tell or is this not so wise?

[rol]

No don't bother, forget about it and don't bother with any of them.
They are not real friends , and I don't think you need them in your life if they are all causing you drama.

[Krs]

Well this so called "friend" is causing the sh*t, her ex-husband and his new girlfriend arnt at all, they are actually very good mates of mine.
Thanks for the advice thou and I will not tell his new girlfriend.