[sean_s]

Again, I ask, what will she get from you?

What does she want? The last one wanted me to bring her rel stardust, that is meteorites, with particles of stellar origin embedded in it - that is easy. I can do that for my lover any time.

I am ready to cross my limits for her, as long as
1. she is not abusive,
2. does not bull everything in the name of everything.
3. shares at least partially my world

That is practically everything I am looking for..

[joypulv]

You sound like you give too much, and consequently you expect too much.
Excessive generosity has strings attached and drives many people away.
If I were blind and you were preparing to give me an eye, I would leave you.
If you were a talented geologist and were preparing to go to medical school for me, I would leave you.
Why? Because I would owe you fidelity I'm not sure I could deliver.

Excessive expectations of such matters as honesty would make me uncomfortable to. As I said right at the beginning, everyone lies.
I think in some ways you are lying to yourself about what you are in love with - ideals. You seem more in love with yourself than people. You seem so sure that you are this honest person with everything to offer, but you don't want to look at what drives them away. Love is all about compromise and forgiveness. Tons of it.

[sean_s]

If I were blind and you were preparing to give me an eye, I would leave you.

Happened to me. Had a blind girl, who left me ;)

I would owe you fidelity I'm not sure I could deliver.

If you are talking about the "faithfulness", I don't care how many people my partner is sleeping with, because that information does not lead anyone anywhere . As long as she is with me, does not ignore me, I am fine.

You know, I had interested myself in a stupid mexican, who, one year ago, said that fidelity and , and dumped me when I gave her this freedom, and went for a macho mexican, and this year, she is repeating that how she wanted what I offered her from her "perspective boyfriends" hehehe

Excessive expectations of such matters as honesty would make me uncomfortable to.

What makes something excessive? I asked this woman, that if she has to leave me for another man, she should say it straight? IS THIS AN EXCESSIVE requirement? Are you kidding?

I think in some ways you are lying to yourself about what you are in love with - ideals.

No, ideals define me, but I am not narcissistic - not in love with what I am. I appreciate that I am true to ideals, and can do anything for that, but I ain't narcissistic.

You seem more in love with yourself than people.

First, did not someone above said I got to love myself first?
Second, I am notin love with myself

but you don't want to look at what drives them away.

What makes you think that I do not do it??

Love is all about compromise and forgiveness. Tons of it.

Hehehehehheh I am an atheist, but I started learning meditation and spiritual things, for her, because I wanted to get in her shoes, so that I can compromise in the moment I need

PS: I do NOT expect my partner to return an eye to me , if I need it. I just expect her to be straightforward and non abusive with things.
PPS: if something intimidates someone, why can't they stand straight and say, sean, I am with you, in a relationship, and this is what I find uncomfortable.
PPPS: I know I expect straightforwardness which not everyone can offer. That is also a reason why I am picky.
PPPPS: strings? Did not the woman herself said she wanted strings attached?

[Wondergirl]

Have you had failed real-life relationships? Why did they fail?

[sean_s]

UPDATE:

she criticized a post I posted saying snow-white is coming to my town, pointing to a film due to be released soon (she liked cospaly, and alice / snow white was her preferences) about random things...

I said are you not the person who wanted to "smell roses and cut all virtual strings" (copying her initial breakup message)

she sent me a message in reply saying she want to wisely spend her time with her family, her people, and use the opportunities in the horizon .

what shall I understand from this little act of drama?

what can this possibly mean?

[sean_s]

Have you had failed real-life relationships? Why did they fail?

Yes I did. Before coming to the uni, I had one real life relationship, who broke up because I did not attend a birthday party of a friend of hers, whom I did not know.

At the end of the uni, I engaged myself for someone, had a couple of times going out, then she thought she is better with a macho.

After uni, before this woman, there was someone who never was clear about her intentions, and life moved on to this one. (in fact, in comparison, this woman was more classy than this one, maybe I should have had taken MORE time for her... )

Before this one, I had one, in which I gave my virginity, but I could not hold a conversation with her. She is a drug addict (I don't mind), She has two topics:
Her grandchild or "do you love me"? Everything was too monotonic...

[Wondergirl]

what shall i understand from this little act of drama?

what can this possibly mean?

This is typical female behavior after she breaks up or takes a break. Ignore it. Do NOT respond to her again.

[sean_s]

Thank you. I will remember this.. I am solving my challenges that needed to be solved for other people, that gives me some joy.

Too bad I can not share it with anyone..

[Wondergirl]

Thank you. I will remember this.. I am solving my challenges that needed to be solved for other people, that gives me some joy.

Too bad i can not share it with anyone..

Now, my deep-thinking friend, tell me why females do this drama thing after a breakup.

[sean_s]

Now, my deep-thinking friend, tell me why females do this drama thing after a breakup.

I don't think I know the answer... but I would like to know if I made a mistake in anything.

She is not my "friend" in the site where I posted. She is reading the public stream from me, and making those comments...

[joypulv]

I wanted to see if you would get angry with me. It seems you did?
I'm still trying to figure out if you want to die or are just in pain.

[Wondergirl]

i dont think i know the answer..... but i would like to know if i made a mistake in anything.

Ah, let's delve into her psyche. Think about it. What does she gain by scattering bread crumbs (or blowing some loess?) your way and seeing you pick up the crumbs or get the silt in your eyes?

[sean_s]

I wanted to see if you would get angry with me. It seems you did?
I'm still trying to figure out if you want to die or are just in pain.

Hehehehehe

I am never angry , I am really entäuscht , like disappointed. I never had an anger problem, yet I went through long training to get rid of anger completely - because anger decreases your capability of performance.

I am :
1. In pain.
2. In pain that I lost an integral part of me
3. life seems pointless without this, as the lose indicates further possible shortcomings
4. with those shortcomings, life is pointless

[Wondergirl]

I'm still trying to figure out if you want to die or are just in pain.

He's turning out to be quite an engaging figure, and I hope he sticks around. He could become a valued mentor on this site for others struggling through what he is up against right now..

[sean_s]

Ah, let's delve into her psyche. Think about it. What does she gain by scattering bread crumbs (or blowing some loess?) your way and seeing you pick up the crumbs or get the silt in your eyes?

Bread crumbs are used to feed ducks, and sometimes as a bait.

If she is baiting me, why did she break up in the first place?

[Wondergirl]

If she is baiting me, why did she break up in the first place?

Ah, you are getting warmer. Two parts to this --

What will the bait accomplish for her if you succumb to it?

And yes, why did she break up in the first place? Was it something about you, or was it about her?

[sean_s]

Ah, you are getting warmer. Two parts to this --

What will the bait accomplish for her if you succumb to it?

The only outcome to this will be the proof that I succumb.

And yes, why did she break up in the first place? Was it something about you, or was it about her?

That is the question. I will take the fault on me, which is better than starting with accusing someone else.

That is exactly one question which is troubling me. What went wrong in me?

[Wondergirl]

the only outcome to this will be the proof that I succumb.

You DID succumb, though, so what was her gain?

That is exactly one question which is troubling me. What went wrong in me?

Was it you? Or maybe the relationship just wasn't working, no fault on anyone.

Or do you insist someone has to be at fault?

[joypulv]

You know, I had interested myself in a stupid mexican...

You say you don't get angry. Contempt then. There are sides to you that aren't apparent at first, and they are just as ignoble and flawed as the rest of us.

[sean_s]

You DID succumb, though, so what was her gain?

No idea...

Was it you? Or maybe the relationship just wasn't working, no fault on anyone.

Or do you insist someone has to be at fault?

She told me she will tell me if things did not work, when she was convincing me into it. But she did not give it a chance to review. She was not straightforward with a reason that hurt her.

No, no one has to be at fault, but the worst case is I am at fault. So I start with that, until , figuratively, I am proven to be not faulty.