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momincali · May 9, 2007, 07:20 PM

Everyone here seems to be talking about the life of the pregnant girl and how one choice or another will affect her. Yes, we must look out for our children, but, how about the life of that baby? I don't believe abortion is the answer. Everyone has to raise their children a certain way, their way. They will teach them what they believe to be right and wrong, i.e stealing is wrong, respect is right... so forth. Okay. But, who has the right to deny that unborn child of a loving home with a mom and dad, a roof over their heads and all other needs that have to be met? Not all of us grew up fortunate enough to have both parents around or in a financially stable home, but I'm sure things would have been easier if they had.

Synnen, as difficult as it was for you to give your child up for adoption, it was one of the most noble and unselfish things you could have ever done for her. She will never truly know the sacrifice you made, so that she could have, what you were probably unable to give her. I believe you were raised to be a giving and loving person who thought more about other's than yourself. Your act was completely and totally selfless.

With so many married couples out there wishing they had a baby of their own to love and care for, why not suggest that to our children? If we raise them the way Synnen's parents raised her, they will see the bigger picture.

MissAdvice · May 9, 2007, 07:33 PM

Originally Posted by jmb6364

my daughter just turned 14 last week and found out she is 4 weeks pregnant, i dont no what to do

I know this situation is tough, but its manageable. Abortion may not always be the best answer. As later in life, she may regret it, and start blaming you for the abortion. I think that a good mother and daughter talk would be best. If she agrees to abort, then my next plan would be preventative measures to make sure this doesn't happen again.

krystal1973 · May 10, 2007, 12:04 AM

I am sorry that you are going through such a tough time. I am neither for or against abortion and the truth is there is not easy way out of this one. All I do know is that you have to love your daughter no matter what.
You have several options to choose from depending upon your beliefs and your daughters beliefs:
Have the baby and keep it
Have the baby and find adoptive parents
Abort the Baby
Of course the decision has to made one way or another..
I cannot tell you if an age determines a good parent or not.. My sister had a baby at 16, and the girl is fine now. She was a very good mother, although she had to do a lot of learning and growing over the years. She also had a very supportive family in this situation..
I have another friiend who got pregnant at 15, her mother made he get an abortion. She is 34 now and doesn't have any children and can't seem to get pregnant, she is devastated about what she says her mom "made" her do. You are in a really tough situation! Good luck to you.

ST3V3NZBABYZMAMII · May 11, 2007, 04:47 PM

Talk to her see what she feels about the whole maybe becoming a mom. If she doesn't want to keep it thers always adoption. I for 1 don't believe in abortion so I wount comment on that subject. But see what she feels first

asking · May 12, 2007, 06:16 PM

[QUOTE=l99057j]Wow, darkclaw has the definitive answer for a question that scientists and theologians have struggled with for years... whether that little cluster of cells is a life.

No. Just theologians. Biologists are not the arbiters of belief. Fertilized eggs are alive, sperm and eggs are alive; they come from cells that are alive. So "life begins" BEFORE conception. Life began, in fact, 3.9 billion years ago and has been in continuous existence ever since. This discussion is really about ensoulment, when an individual acquires a soul, which is a purely theological question. Science can't measure the arrival or departure of souls and has nothing to say about "when life begins" in the sense you are talking about. --Biologist/ sympathetic parent

asking · May 12, 2007, 06:22 PM

I think parents and daughter have to decide together. They are still her legal guardians and will have to be involved in whatever happens. I would treat it as a family event and use it to draw everyone together. No matter what happens, everyone should be on the girl's side and help her. I don't think it's fair to assume the parents were bad parents. Or that the girl was "bad" either. Everybody makes mistakes of some kind. How many of us have been lucky at some point in our life when we did something foolish? I would skip the whole issue of blame. Use this as an opportunity to express love.

SCH07 · May 12, 2007, 06:27 PM

:confused: Well first of all,her boyfriend probably pushed her into it.That's how boys are these days.But it's not intirely his fault she should have said ''NO''.But she went with it.She should have known better.And they boy is pathetic for puching her into doing it.Well congrats grandma,hope it's a girl!

Madam Mickey · May 14, 2007, 06:07 AM

I agree with those that said you should talk to your daughter, BUT at the same time I think you should talk to the guy who wasn't safe to begin with as well. If your daughter doesn't keep the baby but keeps her relationship with this guy who's to say that she is not going to get pregnant again. And if she got pregnant the first time at the age of 14 she wasn't playing safe inform her of STD's that can come from this as well. Over all the choice is not yours and it is not your life that is going to be scared from it. I have had 2abortions and 1 birth and none of the two are easy to deal with. The most you can do as a mother is support your daughter cause the mistake already happened. And don't point any fingers, yell, or scream it will just scare her away and she won't open up and talk to you and it may lead to a bigger issue. Pray about it GOD always has an answer. Good Luck and GOD BLESS. Xox

J_9 · May 14, 2007, 06:13 AM

Please let us all understand that the OP posted this in February, so the gal would be around 4 months along right now, and since the OP has not come back for an update, we can probably assume that they have made a decision as to how to handle this delicate situation.

phycho · May 14, 2007, 10:49 AM

Stand by her if you don't you will lose her

3alanna · May 14, 2007, 06:54 PM

Well honey there isn't a thing you can do about it!!

ilia77 · May 17, 2007, 08:56 PM

Yes she may be young but you never know how she feels have you talked to her because when a girl is in a spot like this all she needs is her mom you need to tell her to think it through don't force her into making a decision that mabey she doesn't want to make I am srry if your thinking abortion I think if she doesn't want to keep it at least give itto a loving family don't kill it because it is still a child no matter how far along she is

starfirefly · May 18, 2007, 12:11 AM

My sister had a baby when she was 15 and my mom and dad helped her now a days having children young is popular... u need to show her what its going to be like to be 14 and have a baby that means no giving in if she wants to go out she needs to find her own babysitter and pay with her own $ don't let he go on welfare she needs to learn thing the hard way she needs to learn responasability or else she might just come home when she's 16 with another baby.. statistics state that girls whom have a baby before they turn 18 will most likely have another before they are 20... u need to show her you love her but also let her know she needs to be responsible for her actions and stay in school no matter what

shatteredsoul · May 18, 2007, 09:50 AM

Any mother who loves their child would be terribly conflicted with this situation. The idea that any decision could be made without considering all the options is hasty and dangerous. That being said, she is a child! Children at fourteen are not equipped to be mothers themselves. Most likely if she does adopt, she will regret it later. Also, if she has it now, her mother will be raising the baby. Either way, the people that adopt the baby would be happy, that's true. This isn't about what we personally believe, this is about this child's well being and future. That is what is most important right now. The baby is not viable yet, so people relax on that issue. That doesn't take away from the fact that it is a life inside of her. Yet, the father who also helped make this life isn't stuck with the burden of doing it to himself. IT isn't his body, the baby isn't in him and he isn't the one that has to decide. So, for men it is not the same. NOt saying it isn't hard for him, realistically speaking it is a fact. Life is about choices, we were given free will to make those choices. So I suggest thinking about them all and finding out how she feels. YOu will have to make the decision with her. She can't do it alone. She needs your guidance and understanding, regardless of what you decide.

ladyprincess · May 20, 2007, 05:37 PM

Originally Posted by jmb6364

my daughter just turned 14 last week and found out she is 4 weeks pregnant, i dont no what to do

Don't yell sit and talk to her because if you do yell you will drive her away and dats not good when she's pregnant

Kutie20 · May 30, 2007, 07:05 PM

Yes, 14 is very young to have a child. But I know girls who have gotten pregnant and even kept the child and to tell you the truth they are some of the best mothers that I know. It cannot be easy trying to figure out what to do. But I have to say that this is her decision. If she wants to keep it she should be able to keep it. If adoption is the road that is great too. I personall however would not let her choose abortion. She will have to live with that all of her life. And she very easily could have problems after that. Even worse than if she is to give up her baby. A lot of people who have abortions go through terrible emotional trauma later. She needs help though. She obviously came to you and wants some advice. Which you should give her. But let her make the choice. It is her baby and her body NO MATTER HOW YOUNG SHE IS. I am sorry that this happened. I will be praying for you and your family.

Sarah

Greg Quinn · May 30, 2007, 10:52 PM

Every girl I know who let the child go, ended up messed up. I hope she feels no pressure.

Congratulations.

victoria_mitchell · Jun 2, 2007, 06:37 PM

My sister was just 15 when she had her first baby and my whole family went through some crazy stuff. I would like you to contact my sister if you would please because you should try to see it from your daughters perspective. The best place to find my sister in at myspace.com her name is Tiffany Mitchell and her user name is mamatiff tell her that I (victoria her sister) told you to contact her. She knows better then anyone else what it's like

Megg · Jun 2, 2007, 06:57 PM

I personally think that you need to show your daughter love. I don't understand why a 14 yr old would be having sex, but OK. I'd try to be understanding and loving. BUT it is her body. She should have the choice. She slept around and in my opinon should have the child or put it up for adotpion. Abortion is the EASY way out. Which I disagree with. But just be a loving parent. Who knows 10 years from now you may have a wonderful 10 year old grandson or daughter that you'd rahter die than give up.

J_9 · Jun 2, 2007, 07:07 PM

We should all realize that this post was done in mid February and the Op has not been back. That means that the girl is almost 5 months pregnant and/or they made their "decision" and decided not to come back and tell us what the decision was.

Basically, whatever we have said, or say, to this mother she is not reading it and most likely will not respond. In all honesty, it is considered a dead thread.