[dwidrick]

Thanks... I will see what I can do about that :)

[talaniman]

Yes I can see all of your merged threads, and in the future you can avoid the time delay in the skin you are using by not starting new threads about the same subject.

To add, honesty with others starts with honest to yourself. Surely you can see that any contact with the ex stops YOU from using the healing process successfully. Why are you even talking to her, let alone hanging around her??

[dwidrick]

Thanks for the insight on the post thing... was really confused on that haha.
To answer your point... I don't know why, I guess it is some of that hope/false hope lingering. Either way if she does want to try again I would be better off making that yes or no decision after time not seeing or talking to her so my outlook is more objective and less emotional. Thanks your point makes sense.

[vanheart]

You never let go of your ex. That takes time, sometimes. Or a slap. Different for everyone.

Nonetheless, don't rebound or enter a new romantic relationship until you are together with yourself, (ie: don't let ex's interfere)

In your head or otherwise...

Not fair to you or anyone. Will only cause issues. Like the ones you are experiencing.

Yup.

[dwidrick]

So just an update to my situation again...
Haven't talked to her in a couple weeks and have come to grips with the fact that I need to just try to move on. Met a new girl and have been chatting with her a little bit. She is great and I really enjoy talking with her.

Well once this started happening my ex contacted me wondering if I was still alive since we hadn't talked in a while. I said I'm fine but have just realized there is nothing more I can do buy do me and see what happens.
She replies asking me if that means I am moving on... Like it was something she wasn't expecting. She didn't seem to like the fact that it seemed like what I as doing. I told her I don't know what you expect from me. Waiting on her every call was only making me feel like **** and it was all I cod think to do.
So in short I am kind of surprised by her reaction... She is the one that has been going with the motto that if it's meant to be it will be so I don't understand why she is surprised with me trying to do me.

[amicon]

Ignore her.

It doesn't matter what her thoughts are;you keep moving on and get to know new people.

Make sure you're truly over the ex before starting a new relationship,rebounds usually don't work.

[dwidrick]

Thanks... I know I shouldn't start anything knew, and I already had this issue with another girl, which I new right away that I didn't want to pursue because I knew it would just be an issue.
But this one is different and has to this point actually made me not even worry about my ex and whatever she is doing.

[amicon]

There's nothing wrong with making new friends,just don't jump into a new relationship until you're ready .

Healing takes time.

[dwidrick]

Thanks... I know at the very least I need to take it very slow to make sure it will not be just some rebound type thing. It is tough because even if I do get past my ex, I still have that feeling of being the bad guy for not "waiting" for her because I feel like I owe it to her for whatever reason just because of how I am as a person.

[amicon]

You don't owe it to anyone to wait for them.

I think you stop thinking of yourself as the bad guy,after two months,it's a good thing that you're starting to get your life back on track.

[dwidrick]

Thanks... and I know I shouldn't, especially since she was the one to end our relationship. I just have that personality where I put others before myself and don't like to make others sad. But I know that is what I have to do.

[amicon]

It is dwid,respect yourself for who you are.

[dwidrick]

Amen!

[dwidrick]

Just a little update to my ongoing saga... (would have posted on my old thread but it has been closed, my own fault been a little lazy with the updates :) )

Just a recap... me and my ex of 2+ years essentially had a break/breakup, however she wanted to put it, a couple months ago So I have been on the slow path of recovery and NC.

At this point I just wanted to report that I have been doing much much better and have been able to keep busy with friends, family, and other personal activities such as the gym and sports. Summer has been good for me thus far as I have been busy every weekend meeting new people, engaging with women, meeting up with roomates at their hometown for some fun.

All is not perfect however as I constantly am unable to ignore the occasional messages from my ex. Mainly to inquire about how my summer baseball is going as she was quite fond of watching me play the past few summers. I now find myself responding more out of pity and feeling like I owe it to her. She has been through so much just with her family and job search beyond anything related to her our relationship that I find myself still caring for her well being.

I don't find myself not thinking about her from an "us" standpoint, but more from a humanitarian standpoint wanting her to find happiness in her life. Is this a usual feeling to have or is it an excuse I am making to myself to feel better about still responding to her?

Overall though I just want to state that I feel like I am making great progress... just wondering if this is one last loose end I have to tie up somehow.

[amicon]

Good you feel you're making progress-bad you still reply to her messages.

It's called clinging to false hope in my book,so-stop being her soundingboard and let her fend for herself.

You owe her nothing.

[Wondergirl]

more from a humanitarian standpoint wanting her to find happiness in her life.

Good grief!

is it an excuse I am making to myself to feel better about still responding to her?

Yup!!

[dwidrick]

Just to clarify she rarely messages me... I am talking maybe once a week at most. I realize the amount doesn't really matter as messaging is messaging.

But yea I probably am just making excuses for myself to still respond to her. It's the "owe her nothing" part that is the hardest for me to get past at this point and really the only think remaining. Thanks

[dwidrick]

Haha I figured you would have a field day with that line Wondergirl.
Thanks for the input.

[Wondergirl]

Haha I figured you would have a field day with that line Wondergirl.
Thanks for the input.

You have a bright future in the medical or social services field.

[dwidrick]

Well unfortunately that isn't the current field I am in haha. Maybe in my next life :)